


Can You Keep A Secret ?

by Sauffie



Category: Suits (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mentions of hurt, Successful Mike
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-23
Updated: 2014-09-04
Packaged: 2018-02-10 02:29:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 27
Words: 79,942
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2007618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sauffie/pseuds/Sauffie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harvey Specter is flying to Dallas to close a deal when he meets Mike Ross.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The VIP Lounge

**Author's Note:**

> Additional tags coming as the story progresses.

Harvey Specter, 42, was an amazing lawyer. In fact, if you asked him, he’d tell you he’s one of the best if not the best. He’d also tell you he’d never lost a case, but that wouldn’t be entirely true. Anyway, yeah, gloating was his other forte.

On a sunny Monday afternoon, he found himself sitting in the VIP Lounge at JFK, waiting for a flight to Dallas where one of his richest and most powerful client lived. George Harris, oil mogul, had insisted on his lawyer coming to him rather than his usual trip to Pearson Hardmann.

So, on this sunny Monday, Harvey was flicking absentmindedly through a paper when he felt eyes on him.

He looked up from his boring article and his eyes met a rather young man, probably in his mid-twenties, big blue eyes partially hidden behind thick-framed hipster glasses. He was wearing a blue cap, prune sweater and a pair of faded jeans.

Harvey raised an eyebrow (yes, an other one of his many skills) and smirked.

The young man blushed, as he looked down and folded his hands together nervously.

Harvey sighed in contempt and went back to what he was reading.

 

As he was refolding his newspaper after a little while, he looked up and the young man was nowhere to be found.

He still had an hour to kill before boarding time so he decided to go get a coffee.

When he came back to the lounge, the young man was back.

Harvey watched him from a distance.

A kid dressed like that surely stood out from the other sharp dressed passengers waiting in the posh lounge.

He emptied his cup, tossed it out in the trashcan and sat back in his chair. He crossed his legs and stared at the young man who was typing frantically on his iPad.

He looked up and blushed again, before instantly looking back down to the screen.

 

There were very few things Harvey Specter did not consider part of a competition or a game. And, well, a staring contest ? Please, he majored in staring ! The kid stood no chance at all, but he was trying, and Harvey found it rather endearing.

 

They played cat and mouse for an hour, the kid blushing each time he looked up to find Harvey staring at him, clearing his throat or swallowing hard before quickly looking down.

 

A woman’s voice came through the speakers, asking all passengers going to Dallas to approach the gates and start boarding. Harvey stood up and retrieved his passport and ticket from his jacket pocket.

 

He passed through the gates and sat down in his first class seat. In about 4 hours, he would be at the ranch. George Harris needed to sign the papers, he would maybe offer him a scotch and then he would make it back to New York on time for the Yankee game.

He sighed and closed his eyes.

 

When Harvey opened his eyes a while later, he looked at his watch. He had slept for an hour, he felt rested but his bladder needed relief so he asked the nearest flight attendant for the restrooms.

When he reached the rear of the plane, he rolled his eyes : both toilets were busy.

He leaned on the nearest partition and waited.

Seconds later, he heard a flushing noise and straightened himself.

When the door opened, Harvey came face to face with the kid.

Harvey smirked.

The kid ran a damp hand through his hair before putting his cap back on.

They stared at each other for a couple of seconds except this time the young man did not blush. Instead he smiled smugly and stepped closer to Harvey. Like, really close, his nose almost touching Harvey’s, his big blue eyes holding his gaze defiantly.

Oh, the kid wanted to play ? Harvey closed the tiny space between their lips and kissed him, shoving him back into the small restroom. He locked the door behind them and pressed his body against the young man’s, pushing his tong deep into his mouth.

Panting, they finally broke the kiss to catch some air.

“Hum.”, the young man said, licking his lips.

“Hot and articulate, uh ?”, Harvey laughed softly and resumed the kiss.

His hands wandered under the kid’s shirt who moaned when their skin came into contact.

Harvey traced kisses from his mouth to his collar bones, pressing his hand hard against the young man’s hips.

He unbuckled his belt and unzipped his fly with one hand, the other cupping his erection.

“God.”, the young man moaned loudly.

“Sshh.”, Harvey said, grabbing his cock and and giving it a few strokes before kissing him roughly.

“Turn around.”, he said hoarsely.

The young man whimpered and turned around. Harvey lowered his jeans and boxers down his shaky legs and placed his groin on the young man’s bare ass crack.

He kissed his nape.

“Ready, kid ? I’m afraid I don’t have any lube, but I do have a spare condom.”, he whispered into his ear.

The young man moaned yet again and began rubbing against Harvey.

“God, you’re so eager.”, Harvey whispered, unzipping his fly, freeing his throbbing cock.

He rolled down the condom, placed a couple of toilet paper sheets on the ground and kneeled down.

“As much as I’m dying to be inside you, I’m not a sadist.”, he said, placing his hands on the young man’s butt cheek, prying them open.

He shoved his tongue down the crack and started rimming his butt hole, eliciting more sexy moans and whimpers from the young man who bent forward, pushing against Harvey’s mouth.

Two of Harvey’s fingers simultaneously sank in the warm tight hole, a third finger quickly joining them.

Harvey worked them inside for a while and then stood back up.

He pressed the head of his cock at the young man’s entrance and slowly pushed inside, his hands firmly holding his hips.

“Aah.”, the kid huffed.

Harvey kissed his neck and shoulders as he thrust in and out at first slowly, then harder.

He wasn’t going to last, this could have been embarrassing but he didn’t know the guy and really didn’t care what he’d think of him. When he felt he was close, he loosened his grip on his hips and grabbed the young man’s leaking cock.

“God. Gonna come.”, he whispered.

Harvey smirked proudly as he felt hot come spurts leaking down his hand.

The young man bit his arm to muffle his orgasm.

Feeling the tight heat clench around his cock, Harvey winced and came right after.

They were both panting when the young man turned around, pulling his jeans back up.

Harvey tossed the condom in the trashcan and zipped his fly.

He smiled.

“Clean up your mess now.”, he said, pointing at the stained wall.

And with that he left the small restroom.

A female flight attendant sitting almost right by the door smiled at him with a knowing look.

 

What just happened ?, he thought, sitting back down in his comfortable seat.

Harvey Specter had no problem with taking hot women and handsome men back to his condo after a romantic dinner, fucking them senseless and not calling them again. Well, “no problem” would actually be an understatement since that was all he did. Harvey Specter did not date or sleep with a person more than once. But fucking a total stranger in a plane ? That was new. And sexy as fuck, he thought, feeling his cock twitch in his pants.

2 more hours and he would be sipping a whisky with his biggest client to celebrate a huge signed deal. That’s what he needed to focus on right now.


	2. The Ranch

Upon arrival, Harvey quickly left the plane. He didn’t have to stop at the baggage claim area so he exited the airport and joined the line of people waiting for a cab.

He hated waiting. He had organized his life in New York in a way he never had to wait for anything and the people working for him (or “with” him, but you know it’s really “for”) knew that they needed to not only be there when needed but also even think ahead.

So he basically cut the line, mumbling an excuse while stepping in the first available cab.

He handed a card with the address to the driver and switched his phone back on.

15 unread emails, 5 phone calls (2 from Donna) and a text from Louis, complaining about a pro bono case Harvey had passed on to Harold, preventing his associate to do any work for him.

He thought about the beers he was going to enjoy watching the Yankee game tonight, closed his eyes and relaxed a little bit.

Then blue eyes and swollen pink lips flashed before his eyes and he shook his head to return to his senses. He wasn’t going to think about the kid anymore. Yes, that had been fun and incredibly enjoyable, to say the least, but he didn’t even know the guy’s name !

 

A couple of miles later, the cab was pulling out in front of a huge gate.

“Visitor for M. Harris.”, the cab driver said.

The gate opened and the cab dropped Harvey at the steps of the modern ranch.

“M. Specter ! Nice to see you ! Did you have a nice flight ?”, the middle-aged oil mogul cheered, offering his hand.

Harvey shook his hand.

“Nice to see you too M. Harris. Your ranch is incredible.”, he said, straightening his jacket.

“Thank you. Come on, I’ll give you a quick tour of the farm while we wait for my associate.”, M. Harris said, placing a gentle hand to the small of Harvey’s back.

 

The farm was actually more of a luxurious and state of the art stud farm. M. Harris was a rodeo fan and could obviously afford the very best for his horses. He allegedly owned several specimens of the rarest breeds.

He explained to Harvey that he had 4 full-time grooms working with the horses, feeding them, walking them and training them.

They were petting M. Harris’ favorite black stallion when they heard someone running in the cowhouse.

“I’m so sorry I’m late George, I –“

Harvey froze, his mouth opened in bewilderment.

_The young man from the plane._

“It’s ok Mike. I was showing off my horses and you know I love it.”, M. Harris said. “M. Specter, meet my associate Michael Ross. Mike, this is my precious lawyer Harvey Specter.”

Mike smiled, trying to hide his obvious embarrassment while Harvey shook his hand more firmly than he would have wanted.

Harvey had encountered awkward moments in his life. Like the day his mum walked on him having sex with the neighbors’ son or the day he was so drunk he went skinny-dipping and his clothes got stolen. He could go on, really, he knew what embarrassment was. But this right now ? He definitely didn’t know how to handle. Lots of first times today, he thought.

The kid, Mike, quickly regained his composure.

“Nice to meet you _M. Specter_.”, he said, insisting on the last words. “Sorry for being late to our meeting but there was a huge line for the cabs at the airport. I waited for my turn, unlike that douchebag who cut the line like it was no one’s business. People, this days…”, he smirked. “Anyway, should we head back inside to go through the papers ?”

“Yes.”, M. Harris replied.

Harvey suddenly felt really hot as beads of sweat were forming on his forehead. This had to be a joke. A really bad one, if you asked him. _I have fucked my client on a plane 2 hours ago_.

He took a deep breath. How the hell was he supposed to have known that this very young looking man was Harris’ associate ?

They stepped inside the ranch and Harris guided them to his study.

“Let’s make it quick.”, Mike said, rolling up his sleeves. “I’ve got tickets to the Yankee game and my flight back is in an hour and a half.”

Harvey rolled his eyes internally. Of course Mike was flying back on the same plane. He retrieved the contract file from his briefcase and placed it on the desk.

“I’ll go over it.”, Mike announced, already opening the folder.

He scanned the pages quickly, nodding.

“Everything is fine with me. Would you like to check it, George ?”, he asked.

“No, I trust you with our legal stuff. If it’s fine with you, it’s fine with me.”, the older man said, seizing a pen and signing at the bottom of each page.

Mike smiled at Harvey who automatically looked down.

“So, M. Specter, when are you going back to New York ?”, he asked.

Harvey cleared his throat.

“In an hour and half.”, he replied, almost inaudibly.

He did not have the upper hand anymore and was clearly losing this contest.

“Great, we’ll share a cab, then !”

“Yeah, great.”, Harvey replied. He needed to change the subject. “Hum, how did you two meet ?”, he asked George.

“Everybody asks that same question. Just because I’m an old man, I cannot do business with a young promising man ?”, he asked with a grin.

Harvey shifted in his chair.

“I, uh, no, that’s not what I was implying. I was just wondering what kind of partnership you had.”, he stuttered. _What ? Since when did Harvey Specter stutter ?_

Mike chuckled.

“Sorry, that came out wrong. This is obviously none of my business. I meant business-wise.”, Harvey felt his cheek burn. _Someone open the window_ , he screamed internally, loosening his tie.

“Well, I met Mike when I was teaching an economy class at Harvard. Brilliant student. When he graduated last year, I offered him to join the company. He had money to invest and I was looking for an associate. That’s how we met.”, Harris replied, handing the contract for Mike to sign.

“Nice story.”, Harvey said, mentally facepalming himself. _Ok, now you shut up and look pretty, Specter !_

Harris stood up and held out his hand.

“M. Specter, again, nice seeing you and thank you very much for coming all the way from New York. Mike, I’ll see at board meeting next week. Let me escort you to the door. Shall I ask Steve to give you a ride to the airport ?’

“Yes please George, that would be really nice.”, Mike replied.

They shook hands and waited on the porch for Steve to set up the town car.

“So, _Harvey Specter_ …”, Mike said with a smirk. “Nice to put a name to a face.”

 _Nice to put a name to an ass_ , Harvey felt like replying. Mike’s sudden cockiness was throwing him off and he hated the feeling.

“Yeah.”, he just replied, looking away.

“What ? Something wrong M. Specter ?”, Mike asked feigning innocence.

“Please, call me Harvey. We’re passed the customary courtesies, don’t you think ?”

“I guess so, yes !”, Mike laughed.

Harvey took a moment to closely watch the young man’s face. He had not seen much of it when they had had their, let’s put it this way, ‘intimate moment’. Mike had a beautifully genuine smile and big blue eyes. He could easily pass for a College freshman : soft features, jeans and chucks, and that goddamn cap.

The car pulled over in front of them and the driver stepped out to open the door.

“Hey Steve !”, Mike cheered. “Climb in, I’ll take the other side.”, he told Harvey.

 

On the ride back to airport, Mike made small talk with Steve, asking about his wife and kids and telling him about his grandmother’s new nursing home ( _Like, who called their grandmother “Grammy” anyway ?_ ).

Once at the airport, they registered on the machines and sat in the waiting area.

“How’s it that you were waiting in the VIP lounge if you did not have first class tickets ?”, Harvey asked casually, breaking the silence.

“I fly to Dallas almost once a week. My assistant always gets me first class tickets.”

Harvey raised an eyebrow quizzingly.

“I prefer to sit in standard class. You get to meet new people there. Real people, not freaky business men or _lawyers_ in fancy suits.”, Mike replied, chewing on a bubble gum.

“If I remember correctly, I’d say you don’t always mind meeting lawyers in fancy suits. Especially in public restrooms.”, Harvey smirked.

“Don’t flatter yourself, Harvey, your suit isn’t that fancy.”

“So you don’t deny the other part.”

“What can I say ?”, Mike smiled. “Sometimes I like to spice things up a little bit.”

He licked his lips mischievously.

“Speaking of spice and if you don’t have plans, I’ve got two tickets to the game, would you like to come with me ?”, he asked.

“I was actually planning on watching it at home but I haven’t been to the stadium in a while so… yes.”, Harvey replied.

A voice announced the boarding through the speakers.

“Great. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have got to board now, standard class first. I’ll see you at the airport.”, Mike waved and walked to the boarding gate.

 _Sigh. It has been one hell of a strange day_.

 

Harvey slept through the whole flight back to New York.

Upon arrival, he waited for Mike at the gate.

The young man waved at him in the crowd of disembarking passengers.

“Nice flight ? Though it was not nearly as exciting as the outward trip, I met a woman and her teenage daughter and we talked about Harvard. See ? That’s what I’m talking about. _Real people_.”, Mike said, smiling broadly.

Harvey rolled his eyes.

“Do you get paid for rolling your eyes ? Cause that would explain why you do it so much !”

Harvey almost rolled his eyes again.

“Ha ha ha, very funny.”, he deadpanned. “My driver’s outside. Would you like a ride home before the game so you can change ?”

“That’s be awesome, I’m dying to take a shower. I feel like somebody rimmed my ass.”, Mike laughed.

Harvey stopped dead in his tracks and turned to face Mike.

“You sure got a smart mouth. No wonder why Harris likes you. Not a word about it to anyone, understood ?”, he ordered. _Who is this guy ?_

“Aye aye Captain !”, Mike replied mockingly.

“This isn’t funny. You’re a client, I could get fired.”

“Hey, you worry too much old man, hence the wrinkles on your forehead. We’re two adults, you did not force me, there’s nothing reprehensible here.”

Harvey touched his forehead, earning a grin from Mike.

“Hey, relax Brad Pitt, your forehead is fine. But you do worry too much.”

Harvey turned his head away to roll his eyes because he _needed_ to roll his eyes and waved at Ray, who was already opening the car door for him.

“Ray, meet my client, Mike Ross.”, he said, stepping in the car and closing the door behind him.

Ray gave Mike a startled look.

“I told him he had wrinkles on his forehead.”, Mike whispered, making his way to the other side of the car.

Ray smiled.

“So, where to M. Ross ?”, he asked as Harvey handed him a CD.

“5th avenue. Traffic’s gonna be hell, I’m sorry.”, Mike replied.

Both passengers buckled their seatbelt and Ray turned on the music.


	3. The Game

“We’re here !”, Mike said as Ray pulled up in front of an elegant building.

Harvey tried to look unimpressed, failed at it really.

“The game starts in an hour.”, Mike said, handing him a business card. “Let’s meet at the stadium in 45. Is that ok with you ?”

Harvey took the card and nodded. It was not really ok, he would not have time to shower, but he didn’t really have a choice.

 

47 minutes later, Harvey was at the stadium, dialling Mike’s number when a hand grabbed his shoulder.

“Almost on time !”

Harvey jumped and turned around, almost dropping his phone.

He gave Mike an annoyed look.

“You look good. Still too dressed for the game, if you ask me, but you look good.”, Mike said, smiling.

“Um, thank you ?”, Harvey replied

He would have blushed if he weren’t Harvey Specter. He thanked Mother Nature everyday for his naturally tanned skinned.

Mike looked good too. He was wearing a tight white V-neck with an unbuttoned black vest and dark blue jeans. No cap, no glasses.

“Let’s go to our seats.”, Mike ordered, grabbing Harvey’s arm.

Harvey felt strange about the whole situation. Was this a date ? Cause the kid had surely put his best casual chic look on. But at the same time, who dated _after_ fucking ?

He followed Mike through the swarm of Yankee fans, they stopped to get a sandwich and a beer and finally reached their seats. And they were not just _seats_ , they were _the_ best seats. _How the hell did Mike get these ?_

“I know one of the players, we went to college together. I can tell you’re wondering how I got those seats.”, Mike said, biting into his sandwich.

“I wasn’t.”, Harvey lied. “What I am wondering, though, is how a kid like you lives on 5th and has money to invest in the oil business.”

Mike stopped chewing for a moment, looking like he was trying to figure out what and how to answer that question.

“I mean, if you don’t mind me asking of course.”, Harvey added.

“It’s ok.”, Mike replied. “I lost my parents when I was 9, they were killed in a car crash. My dad was a journalist and my mum a clothes designer. Both were very successful and had put a lot of money on a trust fund for when they would retire. Long story short, when I turned 18, the money was mine and I decided to spend it wisely. Then I met George Harris and here I am.”

“I’m sorry about your parents.”, Harvey said, biting nervously into his sandwich. A least now with his mouth full, he didn’t have to think about what else to say.

“Nothing to be sorry about. Unless you were driving the car they crashed into.”, Mike chuckled.

Harvey smiled and shook is head.

 

They screamed, laughed and cheered throughout the game.

Harvey was surprised by how comfortable he was with Mike. He didn’t trust people easily, and that was putting it mildly, but this kid ? He actually liked _talking_ with him, about everything and nothing, and he also _cared_ about Mike’s point of view.

“Cab or subway ?”, Mike asked as they were exiting the arena.

“Subway ? You actually take the subway ?”

“You know what old man ? I think you’ve seen to many horror movies.”

Harvey rolled his eyes.

“Stop calling me old man, I’m not that old.”, he whined. “And how old are you anyway ?”

“You mean how young I am !”, Mike teased. “I’m 26. You ?”

“You don’t look a day over 16. How old do you think I am ?”

Harvey braced himself.

“Hum… Since you don’t like me using the word ‘old’, which shows you’re concerned about your age, I’d say you’re 40 or something ?”

“Here I was hoping I looked younger…”, Harvey sighed. “I’m 42.”

Mike smiled.

“You do look younger. I didn’t say you looked like you were 40 or something. I said your reaction to me using ‘old man’ told me you probably were 40.”

“Thank you. Nicely played.”, Harvey smirked.

“So, want a drink ?”, Mike offered.

“I shouldn’t, I have a big depo early in the morning tomorrow. But I’m young and I don’t need to sleep that much, so yeah, let’s grab a drink.”, he replied.

Mike winked and grabbed his arm.

“Is this going to be a thing now, you arm dragging me around ?”

“Not if you mind.”

Harvey shrugged. _What was that supposed to mean ?_

 

They settled in a small bar near the stadium.

Harvey ordered a scotch, Mike a beer.

“Let’s talk about you, Harvey.”

Harvey raised an eyebrow.

“There’s not much to say, I’m afraid.”

“Come on. I told you about my parents, you know about my Grammy and you’re my lawyer. I don’t know anything about you.”, Mike insisted.

“Why would you want to know things about me ?”

Mike rolled his eyes smiling and leaned back in his chair. He studied Harvey for a couple of seconds.

“Let me think… I’ll give you 4 reasons. If they do not convince you, we’ll change the topic. Reason number one is obvious. As much as I enjoyed being fucked by a total stranger earlier today, turns out you’re not a stranger anymore. Reason number two because I feel like you don’t get to tell your story that often. Reason number three because I think you’re hot as fuck and I wanna know if there’s more to you than meets the eyes. Reason number four because I hate small talk.”

Harvey burst out laughing.

“Ok, fine, you’re not convinced.”, Mike said, throwing up his hands in defeat

“Mike, I don’t just _not get to tell my story that often_ , I hate talking about myself. I’m afraid there’s nothing you could say to convince me otherwise.”, Harvey laughed.

“So how do people get to know the mysterious Harvey Specter then ?”, Mike asked.

“People don’t.”, Harvey replied, serious all of a sudden.

“What if they want to ?”

Harvey pursed his lips.

“Trust me, they don’t want to.”

Mike finished his drink and dropped a couple of bills on the table.

“Well, I get it. This has been fun but I’m heading home. I’ve got a board meeting to prepare. Have a good night Harvey.”

“Wait, Mike.”, Harvey called.

“It’s ok Harvey. I get it. Don’t worry you’re not the first person to turn me down.”

He turned on his heels and left the bar.

Harvey sighed.

Sure, Mike was nice, smart and cool. But he didn’t do relationships and dates. He couldn’t. _Once bitten, twice shy_. And Harvey Specter did not make the same mistake twice.

 

The next day, Harvey stepped out of the elevator and came face to face with a worried looking Donna.

“Harvey, where were you last night. And why didn’t you return any of my calls and texts ?”, she asked.

“None of your business and because.”, he replied sharply.

Donna didn’t say anything, she just tried to keep up with his fast pace.

He stopped.

“Wait, why are you asking me about last night ?”, he asked.

“Because I stopped by your condo at 10, since, _I repeat_ , you didn’t return any of my calls and texts, and you weren’t there.”

“What makes you think I simply didn’t want to answer the door ?”

Donna gave him a knowing look.

“Of course, you broke into my apartment.”, he rolled his eyes.

“I didn’t break in, Harvey, you gave me a key for emergencies. And you, _I repeat again_ , not answering any of my, -“

He cut her.

“I get it, Donna. I’m sorry I didn’t return your calls.”, Harvey said, settling at his desk. “I was busy.”

Donna raised her eyebrows.

“Busy, uh ? What kind of busy ?”

“I already told you, none of your business.”

Donna sighed.

“But you’re upset.”, she stated, crossing her arms. “Anyway. Did you get Harris and his associate to sign the contract ?”

“Yeah.”, he said, handing her the blue file. “Here it is.”

“And what exactly do you expect me to do with this ?”

“Bring it to Jessica, please.”

“Why ? You can’t bring it to her yourself ?”

“I’d rather not talk to anybody today. And please keep Louis far far far away from my office.”

“You know damn well I’m going to find out what you were up to last night, so why don’t you just tell me ?”

Harvey heaved a sigh.

“Donna.”, he threatened.

“Fine.”, she said, walking out of his office.

 

Donna had not bothered him again and he had managed to focus throughout his deposition. All in all, Harvey had had a good day.

As he was gathering his stuff to go home, Donna entered his office.

“So. Mike Ross.”, she said, taking a seat on the couch.

Harvey pursed his lips.

“What about him ?”, he asked, feigning disinterest.

“So you’re not pretending to not know who is is ?”

“Why would I ? I know you’ve spent the day investigating.”

Donna smiled fondly.

“Again, Mike Ross.”

“Again. What about him ?”

“You tell me Harvey. Obviously something happened and now you’re upset. What has your client to do with this ?”, Donna asked, standing up to pour herself a finger of scotch.

“I didn’t know he was my client when I banged him in the aircraft washroom.”

Donna gaped wide-eyed. Then a grin started to form on her face.

“Don’t, please. I know, I screwed up.”, Harvey said, raising his index finger.

“Is that why you’re upset ? Because you banged your client ?”, she asked, amused.

“No.”

“Ok, then why ?”

“I’m upset because we went to the Yankees game yesterday, had a very nice time and went out for a drink afterwards. He hit on me and I turned him down.”

“He hit on you ? Did he really need to after what you did on the plane ?”

Harvey winced and swallowed.

“He showed some interest in me. Said he wanted to know me.”, he said with a disgusted look.

“How rude !”, Donna said, clearly mocking her boss.

Harvey gave her a pointed look.

“So basically you’re upset because a nice guy whom you had a good time with is interested in you ?”, she summed up.

“You know I’m not into that kind of stuff. I just wished it would have gone like all of my other encounters : fun, dinner, fuck and thank you farewell.”

Donna sighed, shaking her head.

“What did he say when you turned him down ?”

“He said he got it, paid and left.”

“Well, then he said his farewell, it’s all good ?”, Donna said. “Wait !”

Harvey raised an eyebrow.

“What ?”

“You’re upset because he said his farewell !”, she exclaimed.

“Bullshit.”

“Harvey Specter, you’re afraid. You’re not upset, you’re afraid !”, she stated. “I should have known ! That look on your face was not anger.”

“Donna Paulsen, you’re talking nonsense. Get the hell out of my office and go home.”, he said, the corners of his mouth curving up.

“We’re not done, boss.”, she said, leaving the room. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Harvey stood up and walked towards the giant windows. Donna was right.

 

 


	4. The Genius

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long but writing the porn part took me 2 hours. I'm not sure I'm good at that... What do you think ? Enjoy !

Harvey walked home. He needed to stretch out his legs and clear his head. 

He took is phone and pressed speed dial n°32. After only 2 rings, it picked up.

“What can I do for you, Harvey ? A client you’d like me to check on before you sign him ? Opposing counsel you’d like to drag in the mud ?”

“Hi Vanessa.”, Harvey replied. “Nope. I’d like you to find everything you can on a Michael Ross. He’s head of the oil business at Harris Industries.”

“Who is it ?”

“I’d like you to find out, that’s why I’m calling you Vanessa.”, Harvey deadpanned, rolling his eyes.

“I know. But why him ?”

“He’s a client.”

“A client, uh ?”, Vanessa laughed on the other end of the line. “Though I suspect he’s more since you did not start with this information, I’ll investigate.”

“Thank you.”

“Plans tonight ?”

“No, why ?”

“You know why.”

Harvey took a deep breath. Vanessa was the exception. The only woman he had seen more than once. She was kind of a regular, but with no strings attached. 

“Alright. Where ?”, he asked.

“I’m at the Chilton’s, sipping on a Martini.”

“Looks like it’s your lucky day ! I happen to be in the neighborhood.”

Vanessa laughed.

“No, Specter. It’s your lucky day. I just bought a new dress and judging by the looks I got when I came in the lobby, I’d say it fits me. Very well.”, she teased.

“You know you look better without it anyway.”

“Stop talking and hurry up pretty boy.”

Harvey smirked and hung up. Just what he needed to set his mind off the events of the previous day.

 

The next morning, Harvey came to work in a better mood. The evening had been really nice. They had had dinner and then had come back to spend the night at Harvey’s. He liked that he didn’t need to ask Vanessa to leave, she just knew, and when he had woken up, she was already gone. No strings, no complications. 

 

By lunch, he had managed to go through three third of his to do list.

His phone rang.

“Vanessa.”, he said playfully.

“I have the information you need. Would you like me to go over them now or do you want to meet ?”

“Now’s fine, I’m done with most of my work for today. I’m listening.”

“Well, looks like your boy is quite the genius. He purchased half of Harris’s stock options a year ago after he graduated from Harvard Law, making him number 315 on Forbe’s list of Richest Americans. He also has a PhD in psychology and a degree in medicine. Lost both his parents at the age of 9, stayed with his grandmother who now lives in a luxury nursing home. He's openly gay and a LGBT activist. He makes big donations to various charities every year, has a cat named Nicholas and recently purchased a Tesla. He owns a house in the Hamptons, a condo on 5th Avenue and 2 apartment buildings in Brooklyn. Oh, and I forgot to mention that he’s only 26.”

Harvey couldn’t believe his ears. 

“Thank you Vanessa.”, he said, totally chocked.

“I’ll send you my invoice. Are you going to tell me why you needed a background check on him ?”

“No.”

“Fine. Have a nice day.”

“Yeah, you too.”

Harvey hung up and leaned back in his chair. Mike Ross really was a freaking genius. 

He hid it well, in fact he hid everything well. Harvey would never have guessed the kid was a millionaire when he had met him at the airport. He would never have guessed he was a successful businessman when he had fucked him in the restroom. He would never have guessed he was a genius when they had shared their opinions on the Yankee season. 

Harvey had always chosen his sexual partners, because let’s face it that’s all they were, based on their inferiority to him.

He liked dumb waitresses because he didn’t even need to talk them into leaving with him, he just smiled his deadly smile and they were in awe. He liked skinny baristas whom he could easily impress with his shiny suits and chauffeur and pine on his bed. Male or female, he liked to have the intellectual upper hand. Actually, scratch that, he didn’t _like_ to have the upper hand, he _needed_ to. 

Mike was different. He was more successful than Harvey and clearly less of a show off.

He took a deep breath and started typing a text.

“Free tonight ?”

A reply came almost instantly.

“No, why ?”

Harvey locked his phone, put it back in his pocket and sighed. 

His phone blipped.

“I said ‘Why ?’”

He rolled his eyes. Of course, the kid wouldn’t want to drop it.

“Never mind”, he typed back.

“What if I do mind ?”

 _Come on_.

“Then it’s too bad for you, I could have told you over dinner but you’re busy.”

Harvey hated himself a little bit for the grin that had formed on his face. What was it that he was feeling in his stomach ?

“You win. I can be available at 9.” was Mike’s response.

“I’ll pick you up at you place.”

“What are we doing ?”

“Aren’t you supposed to be working or something ?”

“I can multitask.”

 _Of course he could_. 

“See you at 9.”

“9:15”

Harvey pursed his lips. He definitely didn’t have the upper hand at all. First, the kid had managed to make him want to ask him out. Then, he had declined. _Really_ ? Nobody said ‘No’ to Harvey Specter. Then he had made Harvey insist and grin about it ! Finally he had set up the time of the pick up. Really, he should win an award for Great Achievement. 

 

At 9:15 sharp, Harvey pulled up in front on Mike's building. For once, he had not rented the most expensive and powerful car in the Club. He had opted for a Prius. There was no need to try to impress Mike. And anyway, it wasn't like it was a date or something, he was just intrigued and wanted to know more about him.  _Right_.

As soon as the car stopped, the passenger door opened.

"Right on time this time !", Mike said teasingly.

"I wasn't late yesterday.", Harvey said, starting the engine while the young man buckled up.

"Yes you were. Exactly 2 minutes and 28 seconds late."

Harvey rolled his eyes, eliciting a smile from Mike.

"So, where are we going ? I didn't know how to dress since you wouldn't tell me."

Stopped at a red light, Harvey took a look at Mike's outfit. Jeans, chucks and a hoodie. _A hoodie_.

"So you thought ‘why not dress like a teenager ?’", he asked with a smile.

"Exactly.", Mike smirked.

Harvey thought about what Vanessa had told him. That the man on the passenger seat was a lawyer and a doctor and one of America's richest man. He fought back a chuckle.

"Do you never answer questions or is it just with me ?", Mike asked.

"It's not just with you. See, that's funny because I just answered your question."

Mike sighed and shook his head.

"Relax, we're just having a casual dinner.", Harvey finally replied.

 

Harvey drove them to his favorite restaurant in Brooklyn.

"I grew up here.", Mike said, stepping out of the car.

He pointed to a building.

"Exactly there. Third floor, with the flowers on the ledge", he said with a smile. "Bought the building last year as a graduation present."

"That's quite a nice gesture.", Harvey laughed. "So you graduated from Harvard, Harris said."

"Yeah, Harvard Law. I wanted to be a lawyer but George approached me before I had the chance to start looking around. I actually don't think have what it takes to be a lawyer."

"Why is that ? I bet you were top of your class."

"I was. But I'm a people person. I loved studying the Law, it's fascinating, like maths. How you can accomplish things by having just the right equation. But I wouldn't be able to drag someone in the mud just to win a case."

"You don't always have to do that. I used to work at the DA's office on murder or robbery cases. People cases. It has nothing to do with corporate law.", Harvey said. "Here, that's the restaurant. I guess you know it since you lived here."

"You bet I do ! I even worked here !"

The kid was getting more and more interesting.

"Mikeyyyyyy !", a woman shrieked.

"Patricia ! So nice to see you !", he hugged her.

"Where have you been ? Are you a doctor now ?", she asked with a huge smile.

Mike blushed.

"No, I mean I could be but I decided to pass the bar when I got my degree. While at Harvard, I also got a PhD in psychology. Right now I'm running a company.", he replied, visibly embarassed.

"Aw Mikey, I always knew you'd accomplish great things. Your parents would be so proud of you.", she said with a sad face.

"Thank you.", he blushed again. "Here's a friend of mine, Harvey"

"Another familiar face. Nice to finally know your name.", she said, pulling Harvey into a hug. "Here, follow me."

Harvey held out an arm letting Mike go first.

They sat at their table and ordered a bottle of wine and a steak.

"So you're a doctor ?", Harvey asked, feigning surprise.

"Yeah, pediatric specialist with a little bit of shrink on the side.", Mike replied with a shy smile.

"And a lawyer and a businessman.", Harvey stated.

Mike smiled.

"I've got what's called an eidetic memory. I remember everything I read or see. So learning things was never a problem."

"Impressive.", Harvey nodded.

"Not that much actually. It's more of the contrary. What I mean is that it's easy for me to learn, that would be impressive if I didn't have that gift."

"Humble genius.", Harvey smirked.

Mike shifted on his chair.

"Let's set a ground rule, okay ?", he said, pouring them each a glass of Bordeaux.

"Uh, okay."

Harvey frowned.

"Since you don't want to tell me anything about you, I'm not telling you anything more about me. You already know too much and if we're gonna be fuck buddies, it needs to stay casual."

Harvey's stomach tightened. _Fuck buddies_ ? He swallowed hard, trying to hide his disappointment.

"Of course, you're right.", he replied coldly.

Were fuck buddies supposed to have dinner together ? Why had he imagined Mike wanted something else ? Why the hell did he text him in the first place ? 

"If we're not going to talk about personal stuff, what do you suggest ?", Harvey asked.

"Tell me about one of your ongoing cases. No names, no realistic amount of money. Just the facts. Ok ?"

Harvey nodded and began telling him about a big merger he was currently trying to make happen.

 

2 hours later, they were downing their second glass of scotch and Mike was trying to help Harvey figure out the best deal for both part of the merger. 

"I bet you'd find it instantly if I gave you the files.", Harvey sighed.

"You can't. And I like it better as a kind of game.", Mike replied, finishing his glass. "Your place ?"

"What ?"

"Should we go back to your place ?"

Harvey swallowed the last drop of scotch from his glass and raised an eyebrow, quizzing.

"You were a lot less clueless in the air.", Mike mocked with a smug smile.

"My place it is.", Harvey sighed.

"Hey, if you don't want to, it's fine with me too."

"Let's go.", Harvey said, handing his credit card to the waitress. "You better put out since I’m paying.", he whispered.

Mike smiled.

Things were not really going as Harvey had planned and he was not used to not be in control. But it seemed that's how it was going to be with Mike.

 

"It's not 5th Avenue, I hope you still want to stay.", Harvey said, opening the door to this apartment 45 minutes later.

"Come on, you've seen where I grew up.", Mike said, making his way inside the condo.

He stopped by the floor-to-ceiling windows.

"Wow. The view is fantastic ! And you've got a patio !", he exclaimed.

"Yeah, it's nice. I mean, I like it a lot. Fell in love instantly.", Harvey said.

"Where's the bedroom ?"

"Wasting no time, I see.", Harvey smiled, pulling the young man into a kiss.

He unzipped Mike's hoodie and pulled it down his arms then he roamed his hands under Mike's tight Henley.

Without breaking the kiss, they walked to the bedroom and fell on the bed.

"Let's catch our breath and get undressed.", Mike panted against Harvey's mouth.

Less than a minute later, they were back on the bed kissing, body pressed together, hands roaming all over each other, rubbing against each other desperately.

Using his left leg, Mike rolled them over and straddled Harvey's hips. He sat up and grinned.

"This time you get to admire my pretty face.", he smirked.

Harvey's throat slightly tightened but he smiled. Mike was right, he would admire his pretty face. And his beautiful smile. And his flushed cheeks. And his cute nose. And his messed up hair. _What the hell was going on_ ? Harvey needed to regain control over the situation. 

He held out an arm to pick up the bottle of lube and a condom from the nightstand. 

Mike grabbed the tiny bottle and closed his eyes.

“I’ll prepare myself.”, he said, eyes shut, in a low voice.

This did not look like regaining control over the situation.

Harvey stroke Mike’s thighs as he watched the young man slowly open himself up, eyes still shut, making all sorts of moans and whimpers. This sent jolts of pleasure directly to Harvey’s hard and leaking cock, which twitched in response.

He gave it a few strokes before rolling down the condom with trembling hands.

“God, I’m ready.”, Mike moaned, finally opening his eyes as he rubbed his ass crack against Harvey’s hard cock.

He straightened up, grabbed Harvey’s cock and placed it at his entrance.

With a mischievous smile, he very slowly sat back down, his hands placed on Harvey’s hips for balance and control.

He closed his eyes again, taking the last inch in, and stopped moving.

He bent over and caught Harvey’s lips. They kissed for a minute, neither of them moving yet.

When Mike sat back up, he grabbed Harvey’s shoulders and dragged him up with him so they were now both sitting on the bed.

Harvey smiled and kissed him again. He got it. He was never going to have any control over this, Mike wanted to set the pace.

Mike arched his back as he began to thrust himself onto the older man’s cock.

Harvey moaned and nuzzled Mike’s neck, placing soft kisses here and there.

“Harvey…”

Mike stopped moving to catch his breath and pressed his forehead against Harvey’s. The older man smiled and took this opportunity to roll them over so he now was on top.

He placed his hands on either side of Mike’s shoulders, sinking into the soft sheets.

“God you feel so good.”, he whispered in Mike’s ear.

He thrust in and out harder and the young man tilted his head back whispering unintelligible words.

Harvey leaned down on one forearm and used his free hand to cup Mike’s face and brush his tongue against his swollen parted lips.

“Harvey… I’m close but I want you to come first.”, Mike whispered, his ass clenching around the older man’s cock.

Harvey groaned and thrust deeper and harder into the tight heat of the young man’s ass.

It only took a couple of in and out movements before Harvey came, biting at Mike’s collarbones.

“God, Mike…”, he moaned against his neck.

Mike grabbed his own leaking cock and stroked it rapidly, screaming through his orgasm.

A minute later, they were kissing and panting, covered in sweat.

Harvey pulled out of Mike gently and threw the used condom in the direction of the trashcan.

Mike chuckled.

“What, you can’t even walk to the trashcan, old man ?”

“Do we need to have that conversation about you calling me an old man again ?”

Mike settled on Harvey’s chest and pressed a kiss to his bicep.

 

Harvey opened his eyes the next morning to find an empty bed. There was a note on the pillow.

“I’ll see you around.”

Harvey bit his bottom lip in disappointment.

He usually had to, sometimes even physically, throw his “guests” out after their night of sex, and he should have been relieved that Mike left. But he wasn’t. And he wasn’t used to feeling disappointed. There was something else forming in his guts, something he couldn’t really name, a weird twitching feeling.

He grabbed his phone to check the time. Still an hour to go before his set up alarm was supposed to ring.


	5. The Office

The rest of the week passed by in a blur.

Harvey got caught up with his merger and even if he had basically sequestrated the associates in the bullpen, there never seemed to be an end to the paperwork load he had to go through to finalize the deal.

On the week-end, he paid his yearly visit to his twin brother Paul and his wife and kids in Boston. He played with the girls and cooked his famous risotto.

The beginning of the next week was full with court, motions, the merger and Louis complaining all the time. He hadn't heard from Mike and hadn't tried to contact him. Last time he had texted him, it had ended with an incredibly hot sex romp but also with  _a fucking scribbled note_.    

 

By Thursday, he was finally done with the contracts and was able to deliver the stack of merger briefs to Harold for proofing. When he came back to his office, Donna was sitting in the chair opposite to his desk and playing with one of his signed balls.

He cleared his throat.

Donna jumped and dropped the ball.

“Oh my God Harvey, you scared the shit out of me !”, she exclaimed, pressing a palm to her chest.

Harvey laughed and sat down.

“That was the goal.”, he said. “What do you want, Donna ?”

“I was just checking on you, see if you were feeling alright.”

“I am, why ?”

“Just that you haven't had a sexcapade in a week and this only happened once in the 9 years I’ve been working for you. And it was 7 years ago. And you were sick as a dog. So…”

Harvey rolled his eyes.

“First of all, how do you know about my sexcapades, -”, he paused and grimaced. “God that word ! Don’t use it again, alright ?”

“Give me your second of all and I’ll answer your first of all.”, she deadpanned.

“Second of all, I’ve been really busy as you may have seen in between your nail polishing sessions.”, he continued.

“That was a low blow.” Donna said, holding up her index finger. “But I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear the last part. I get it, you’re sexually frustrated, almost losing your mind, I guess it’s only fair that I let you blow off some steam. But anyway, I know for a fact, the fact being your bank account, that you haven’t been out since last week, you know for one of your  _sexcapades_. And don’t try the ‘I was busy’ speech with me since you never left the office after 8. So ? Why ?”

Harvey sighed. Donna could be both a savior and the biggest pain in the ass ever. She had saved Harvey’s life more times than he’d care to remember so he trusted her, but she could be a bit pushy when it came to his constipated love life.

“Why do I feel like whatever I tell you you won’t believe me because you’ve already come up with your own little theory ?”, Harvey asked, rubbing his forehead.

Donna smiled broadly.

“Because I have indeed come up with my  _own little theory_. Which I bet is much closer to the truth than the lies you’re feeding yourself.”, she replied.

“Care to share it with me ?”

“Ok. I think you like that Mike Ross. I’m dying to meet him by the way. So you like him but he doesn’t like you that way. Am I wrong ? That’s what cockblocking you ?”

Harvey laughed nervously.

“Cockblocking me ? Come on, nothing cockblocks me. Like, nothing.”, he repeated. “Thank you for sharing this with me but I think I deserve to celebrate my hardworking and I’m gonna go now.”

“Sexcapade ?”

“Donna.”

She winked and left his office whispering “sexcapade” till she reached her cubicle.

Harvey sighed and put his jacket on. If that’s what it took to prove Donna that her theory was wrong, and because he deserved it, he would go out and spend a fortune on expensive champagne and a fancy hotel room.

He was trying to figure out whom to call when his phone blipped.

“Done with the merger ?”

His heart did a 180 in his chest and his palms started to sweat. He winced.  _Calm down, Specter, it’s just a text message_. He took a deep breath and tried to type his reply but his trembling hands wouldn’t press the right letters on the keypad.

“Shit !”

He passed Donna’s desk without looking at her. He could feel his cheeks burning and really didn’t want to know what she’d have to say about it.

Once in the elevator, he closed his eyes and focused on his breathing. Once his heart had regained an even beat, he went back to his phone.

“We’re signing tomorrow but the contracts are ready.”

He pressed send and exhaled noisily. What the hell was going on ? Was he having a stroke ?

He jumped when his phone blipped again.

“Great. Have a good evening.”

 _Great_. So Mike had not contacted him in over a week and all he had to say was ‘Have a good evening ?’.

Harvey called Ray. He didn’t feel like going out anymore. He felt sick and really tired. A good night sleep was all he needed.  

 

Once in the town car, Ray eyed him suspiciously in the rearview mirror.

“Is everything ok, Harvey ?”, he asked.

“Yes, no… I don’t know. I don’t feel so well.”

“What are your symptoms ? Are you in pain ?”

“I feel something in my stomach, like a weird feeling. And my heart sometimes starts beating really fast like it's going to burst out of my chest. It’s not painful per se, but I don’t like it. I’m going to head straight to bed.”

Ray smiled and put the radio on.  

 

Harvey showered and poured himself a glass of scotch. He watched a rerun of this TV show about a law firm where a handsome senior partner hired a college drop out genius. The guys were sexy and the ladies always wore tight skirts. That was distracting enough.

He was about to pour himself another glass when he heard is phone ring.

 _Mike Ross calling_.

He sat down at the table, feeling the now familiar panic attack building up. He took a deep deep breath and picked up.

“Mike.”, he answered.

“I know ‘Have a good evening’ wasn’t a question, but I was expecting a ‘You too’ or something.”, Mike said in a mocking tone.

Hearing Mike’s voice worsened the twitching feeling in his stomach. He knew he shouldn’t be talking to anybody tonight given his condition. That’s why he had chosen not to go out, he felt he could be panic-stricken at any time.

“Hum, sorry, yeah have a good evening too.”, Harvey said rolling his eyes while pressing a hand on his stomach to ease the feeling.

“I can tell when you’re rolling your eyes, you know ?”, Mike stated. “So, are you having a good evening ?”

“I guess. Why ?”

“I don’t know.”

“Did you call me just to tell me I’m rude ?”, Harvey asked.

“Yeah but now it’s settled, I’m wondering if you’re having a good evening.”, Mike deadpanned.

What was up with him ?

“I am. I’m actually watching Suits.”

“I love Suits ! Who’s your favorite ?”

“I don’t know their names and I don’t care. But I like the young one with the freaky brain.”

Mike chuckled. Then Harvey realized what he’d said.

“In the show.”, he specified.

“Yeah, right, of course.”, Mike laughed.

“Is there anything else I can help you with Mike ? Are you done making fun of me ?”

“Come on, old man ! I’m not making fun of you. You’re doing this to yourself.”

“Doing what ?”, Harvey asked.

He was starting to get annoyed.

“You’ll figure it out.”

“Figure what out, Mike ?”

“It.”

Harvey rolled his eyes.

“That’s 5 more dollars in the piggy bank for rolling your eyes. Have a good night Harvey.”

“You too Mike.”, Harvey said. “Did I get that right ?”, he smirked.

Mike chuckled.

“Bye.”

“Bye.” Harvey smiled.

He downed the rest of his glass in one gulp and decided to go to bed, hoping a good night sleep would make the weird feeling disappear.    

 

But Harvey didn’t feel any better the next morning, if not worse. He texted Donna to tell her he’d pass on his ritual morning coffee.  _Could be the caffeine, right ?_  

The merger contracts were signed by noon and Harold had not stuttered during the meeting. Total victory.

 

After lunch, during which Harvey did not touch his food, he called Donna through the intercom.

“What can I do for you boss ?”, she replied.

“Come to my office please.”

She entered the large room and closed the door behind her.

“Sit down please.”, Harvey asked, motionning to the couch.

“Ok, Harvey, you’re freaking me out. What is it ?”

Harvey took a deep breath.

“I think I might be sick.”, he said.

“What ?”

“I’ve been feeling weird lately. I can’t focus, can’t eat and my stomach feels funny.”

Donna fought back a smile and frowned her eyebrows in fake concern.

“Since when have you been having those symptoms ?”

“Last Tuesday I think.”, Harvey replied, trying to remember when it had started.

“The day you went to Dallas. Interesting…”

“What ? Is there some kind of Texan disease spreading across the country ?”, Harvey asked, almost not joking.

“Harvey.”, Donna said with a very serious voice. “I know what you have. It’s a pretty common disease, but I'm afraid it doesn’t have a cure…”, she explained calmly.

“What is it ? You mean I cannot do anything about it ?”, Harvey asked.

“It’s called amorem ardeo. I know it sounds terrible but trust me, you’ll survive, I got it once, or twice maybe. And look, here I am !”, she said, smiling.

“Are you shitting me Donna ? Cause this is not funny, I’m fucking scared ! What does that thing mean ?”, Harvey shouted.

Donna burst out laughing.

“It means ‘falling in love’ in latin.", she laughed.

Harvey rolled his eyes. _5 more dollars_ , he thought and damn ! That feeling again !

"What the hell are you talking about ? I don't even know him !", he exclaimed, standing up and rubbing his hand across his face.

"At least you didn't dare to ask me who I thought you might be in love with. Good. And you know him Harvey. I know you've had Vanessa run a background check on him and you had a date last week."

"It wasn't a date."

"Then when why did you invite him to La Cucina ? Isn't it your I-like-you-so-much restaurant ?"

"That's bullshit, I never brought anyone to that restaurant !"

"Exactly. It's your favorite restaurant and you bring him there ?"

Harvey heaved a sigh and sat back down. 

Donna stood up and placed a hand over Harvey's.

"That's what falling in love does, Harvey. The butterflies in the stomach everytime you think of the person you love, the loss of appetite, the difficulty to focus. Trust me, that's what falling in love does to you. It's not curable but it's not deadly.", she said with a fond smile.

"That's just great then !", Harvey laughed nervously.

"What ? I think it's beautiful !"

"He called us fuckbuddies.", Harve replied coldly.

"Ouch.", Donna winced. "Still, I hit the nail right on the head with my little theory."

"Please don't."

"What ? Rub my super powers in your face ?"

Harvey looked at her with a pointed look.

"Fine. I'll just go back to my area and let you sulk like a little boy.", she said and left his office quietly.

He took out his phone and typed.

"Merger's signed."

He pressed "Send" and a reply came on seconds later. 

"Nice work, rookie !"

Harvey's lips twitched and he raised an eyebrow. _Rookie_ ? 

"So I'm an old man or I'm a rookie ?"

Mike was definitely hard to follow.

"Depends on the area. Considering what I've learned about you and your carreer, I'd say you're not a rookie in the professionnal area."

"You bet I'm not ! I'm the best at what I do !"

Harvey huffed.

"Maybe."

Ok, what was he trying to do ? 

With a sharp pang in his chest, Harvey suddenly realized that he felt the urgent need to see Mike. To touch Mike. To make Mike smile. 

"Are you busy tonight ?", he typed, his fingers tentatively pressing the letters.

He held his breath.

"I'm in Dallas, board meeting week."

"Ok."

His stomach tightened in his chest. Then a new text appeared on the screen.

"But I'm back tomorrow. Tomorrow night ? My place ?"

Harvey suppressed a grin.

"You're blushing.", Donna called through the intercom.

Harvey rolled his eyes at her exaggeratedly.

"Yes.", he typed back.


	6. The Hamptons

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you thank you thank you to everyone who has commented or given kudos !! Hope you enjoy this new chapter.

The next day found Harvey feeling like a teenage girl.

He got ready for work, put his lawyer costume on, lawyer hair, lawyer mask like he had been doing every weekday for the past 17 years.

What kept him from being on time that morning was choosing an outfit for the night. _Mike’s place. Mike’s place on 5 th Avenue_. Ok, since when did Harvey Specter freak out over dates ? Was it even a date ?

After almost an hour spent rummaging through his hundreds of jeans, pants, t-shirts and shirts, he decided he’d try to casually ask Donna for advice. She’d know.

 

When he arrived at Pearson Hardmann, he _swanned_ across the corridor like he always did and stopped at Donna’s cubicle.

“Morning boss, you’re late.”, she said, her eyes not leaving the computer screen. “Here’s your coffee. There’s a visitor in your office. Came in before I did.”

She smirked.

He cocked his head to the side and looked through the glass walls.

Mike was sitting on his couch, in a suit, typing on his phone.

Harvey’s heart skipped a beat and he exhaled loudly.

“Come on Harvey, get in there already.”, Donna whispered.

Harvey straightened his jacket and tie and took a deep breath.

When he opened the door, Mike jumped.

“Hey.”, Harvey said, trying to sound like he didn’t have a care in the world, _like having Mike Ross in a fucking three-piece tailored suit sitting in his office was a totally normal way to start the day._

“Hey. I’m sorry I came in early. I introduced myself as soon as your secretary arrived, but she didn’t say anything so I figured I could wait in your office.”

“It’s ok. Back from Dallas already ?”, Harvey said, turning on his computer.

“Yeah, meeting ended late yesterday evening so I took an early flight back this morning.”, Mike replied, sitting up. ”Your balls are amazing.”, he added, his fingers running on one of Harvey’s signed basket balls.

Harvey smirked.

“I know, right ?”

Mike gave him the eye.

“Your signed balls.”

Harvey chuckled.

“What’s up with the suit ?”, he asked. “No jeans and sneakers for board meeting ?”

“Those meetings, along with weddings and funeral, are actually the only occasions I wear a suit for. It feels so uncomfortable.”

“You look great anyway.”

Mike smiled.

“Thanks.”, he replied. “I know I suggested we should have dinner at my place tonight but my plans have changed.”

Harvey raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah, it’s my friend Jenny’s 30th birthday and I offered to host the party at the house I own in the Hamptons. Tonight.”, Mike continued.

“It’s ok, don’t worry.”, Harvey replied casually to hide his disappointment.

“You’re invited.”, Mike winked. “We could spend the weekend there if you’d like. It’s going to be a sunny couple of days and my house has an oceanfront view.”

“Oh. Ok, yeah.”, Harvey stuttered.

God. If looking for an outfit for a casual dinner on 5th Avenue had proved fruitless this morning, Harvey could only imagine what packing a suitcase for a weekend at the Hamptons would turn out like.

“Great.”, Mike said with a genuine smile. “I’m going home to arrange everything for the party. Meet me there at 5, we’ll take my car to drive up there.”

Harvey nodded. Once again, without even asking if his plans worked with Harvey, Mike had set the whole thing up.

“See you later.”, he said, leaving his office.

When he was out of sight, Donna rushed into the office.

“Who are you and what have you done with my boss ?”, she asked, grinning.

Harvey sighed.

“I’m getting get rid of the Intercom.”

“No you’re not.”, Donna snapped. “I have never seen you take orders or directions from anybody. And this kid comes in, changes your plans and all you manage to say is ‘Oh, ok, yeah’ ?”

Harvey rolled his eyes.

“What was I supposed to say ?”

“I don’t know, whatever you say to your clients, family members and friends to hold the balance of power every time someone makes a decision for you ?”, she deadpanned.

“Well, maybe I’m fine with what he has planned ?”

“That’s what I thought. You’re not just fine with it, you _love_ it.”, she teased. “Need any help in the fashion department ?”

He was definitely getting rid of the Intercom, she didn’t need it if she could read minds.

“I hate to admit it, but yes please.”

“So first you’re fine with being bossed around by your boyfriend then you say ‘ _please_ ’ ? Oh my God, I love this kid !”, Donna said, clapping her hands.

Harvey leaned back in his chair and gave her a pointed look.

"He's not my boyfriend."

“Whatever. Just hand me your credit card and I’ll take care of it. I might buy a thing or two for myself in the process, but I can guarantee that once I’m done, you’ll be the best dressed man in the Hamptons.”

 

A couple of hours later, Donna was back with a dozen shopping bags, strutting her stuff back to her desk _à la_ Confessions of a Shopaholic.

She entered Harvey’s office and dropped the bags on the couch.

“Here are your receipts. You’d be surprised at all the things you can get for less than three grand !”

Harvey’s mouth dropped open in disbelief as Donna started to unpack the bags.

“Casual striped t-shirt with white flannel pants paired with a dark blue blazer and beige deck shoes for a sunny stroll.”, she said, spreading the articles of clothing on the couch. “White Henley, black vest that you want to keep unbuttoned with jeans and light brown leather shoes for a drink at the bar, two pairs of Tom Ford swimming shorts, a beach towel, and for tonight’s party…”, she dropped the content of the last bag on the couch. “White shirt, black pants, yes they look tight and that’s because they are, slim fit grey jacket and white leather shoes. What do you think ?”, she asked, visibly proud of herself.

Harvey stood up and walked towards the couch. He touched the fabrics, checked the sizes and rolled his eyes at the price tags.

“Thank you very much.”, he said, smiling softly at Donna.

“No problem boss. You are going to turn heads.”, she replied, pinching his cheek maternally, eliciting a disgusted look from Harvey.

When he watched her leave his office, he noticed 2 more shopping bags on her desk. _A thing or two, right_.

 

 

At 4pm, Harvey called Ray. He still needed to shower, pack his new stuff in a suitcase and grab his toiletries and underwear. The black pants Donna had chosen definitely were tight. But looking in the mirror when he was fully dressed with his outfit for the night, he couldn’t help but think he looked younger. Once again, Donna had known.

At 5:05, he was introducing himself to the concierge in the lobby of Mike’s luxury building.

“Harvey Specter, visitor for Mike Ross.”, he said.

“M. Ross said to let you in but he also said that if you showed up after 5, I should remind you that it’s rude to be late. Elevator’s this way. 28th floor.”, the young male concierge said with a smile.

Harvey pursed his lips. _5 fucking minutes_.

The building was a rather old fashioned post war construction. Very luxurious but in a totally different way than Harvey’s modern glass building. There even was a liftman.

When he reached the 28th floor, he realized the elevator opened directly into Mike’s apartment. The place was quiet so he just stood there and cleared his throat when he saw a white Persian cat with big blue eyes rub against his leg, purring.

He wanted to smile, he really did. He _kind of_ liked cats. But a giant white ball of fluff rubbing against his new black pants ? Not so much.

“Nicholas, come here baby, don’t hassle the nice gentleman.”

Harvey tilted his head up to see a half dressed Mike leaning on a doorframe.

“You don’t like cats, do you ?”, he asked with a smile.

“I do, I just…”, Harvey replied, bending down to pet the cat.

Mike chuckled.

“You’re a terrible actor.”

“And you’re not dressed. May I remind you that it’s rude to be late ?”, Harvey deadpanned.

“I see Jeremy got the message out. I didn’t say we were leaving at 5. I told you to meet me here at 5.”

Harvey rolled his eyes.

“I know. Don’t say it.”, he said when Mike opened his mouth to speak.

“Make yourself at home, I’ll be right there.”, the young man said, disappearing in the adjacent room.

Harvey settled down on a grey leather couch and grabbed a magazine from the mahogany coffee table. He took a look at his surroundings. The living room was huge, probably the width of the building, with 3 enormous couches, 2 armchairs and a couple of coffee tables, all settled on a very soft looking beige carpet. A massive screen hung on the brick wall facing the sitting area. The other 2 walls were composed of wall shelves full of books of all shapes and sizes. On his left was a modern eat-in kitchen. Used plates and glasses were sitting on the counter along with Mike’s phone.

He started flicking through the pages of the magazine when Mike reappeared, dressed and holding a duffle bag. He was wearing a tight V-neck white cotton t-shirt, black used jeans and an old fashioned brown suede blazer. He smelled divinely good.

“Ready ?”, Harvey asked.

“Yup.”, Mike replied, as he put on his black Clarks boots. “You look good, by the way.”, he added, matterofactly.

“Thank you.”, Harvey replied, swallowing hard.

Mike straightened up and walked towards him. He smiled and pressed a soft kiss on his lips.

“Come on, don’t tell me you’re not used to getting compliments.”, he said, heading for the front door.

Harvey blushed and followed him. He pursed his lips. How was it possible that he, the Great Harvey Specter, was getting flustered like a teenage girl by a cocky twenty-something ?

They took the elevator down the second basement, walked to a closed part of the parking lot that Mike opened with a remote. The huge sliding door revealed 8 luxurious cars.

Harvey’s jaw dropped.

There was a black Tesla S, a bright red Ferrari F12berlinetta, a grey Jaguar XJ, a cherry red Bentley Continental GTC, a white Mercedes SLS, a bronze Aston Martin Vanquish, a black Rolls-Royce Ghost and a black and orange Bugatti Veyron Grand Sport.

All of them in Harvey’s top ten favorite cars.

Mike looked at Harvey and smiled.

“You like cars ?”, he asked.

“If I like cars ? I _love_ cars.”, he replied, unable to keep his fingertips from tracing along the hood of the Aston Martin. “Are they yours ?”

“Yup.”, Mike replied.

“I’m sorry, I’m at loss for words. They’re fantastic.”

Mike handed him a small pouch with a fond smile.

“Which one would you like to drive ?”, he asked.

“Me ?”, Harvey asked unbelievingly.

“Yeah, you.”, Mike laughed. “All the keys are in there.”, he added, pointing his finger at the pouch in Harvey’s hands.

“The Aston Martin ?”, Harvey asked.

His Car Club had some very very nice cars but none could compare to the Aston Martin Vanquish or the Bugatti Veyron.

“The Aston Martin it is.”, Mike stated, walking to the passenger door.

It took Harvey a couple of seconds to find the right key in the pouch. He pressed the button and there was a beep. They both sat inside the car and Harvey started the engine, a grin spreading across his face.

“Are you sure you trust me with her ?”, he asked.

“Completely.”, Mike replied, buckling up.

 

Getting out of the parking lot was a lot easier than Harvey would have thought.

When they hit the road, Mike put some music on.

“What time is the party ?”, Harvey asked.

“8. The caterer is coming at 7 and I have hired a team of party decorators who probably are turning my house into a pink and white nightmare as we speak !”, Mike laughed.

Harvey smiled.

“Do you often go to the Hamptons ?”

“Not enough, I’m pretty busy. And when I go, I often get bored. The trouble with having money and being able to do exactly what you want is that your friends can’t keep up. So you end up doing those things on your own because you offer to pay for their trip, for everything but they quickly feel embarrassed. Some of them won’t even see you anymore because they feel like you’re showing off….”

Harvey didn’t say anything. I kind of knew the feeling though it probably wasn’t even remotely close to what Mike experienced.

Wonderwall by Oasis started to play on the radio and Mike cranked up the volume.

“I love this song.”, he said, singing along.

They chatted for the 2 hours it took them to reach The Hamptons. They talked about the merger Harvey had just settled, Mike’s involvement in Harris Industries, their taste in music and Mike’s friends who were to attend the party.

 

“We’re here.”, Mike said, pointing his finger at a green and gold metal gate.

He reached for a remote in his bag, pressed it with his thumb and the big gate opened.

“Wow.”, was all Harvey managed to say.

He pulled up outside the front door and stopped the engine. He sighed contentedly.

“This car is amazing, Mike.”

Mike smiled and put a hand on Harvey’s thigh. Leaning forward, he lifted his chin with his other hand and kissed his lips. His tongue pressed against his lips, parted them and met Harvey’s tongue. The older man deepened the kiss as Mike’s hand on Harvey’s thigh moved to his crotch, rubbing his thumb up and down. Harvey felt his pants growing tighter and his heart beating faster and faster.

Without breaking the passionate kiss, Mike unbuckled and moved to Harvey’s lap, straddling him and rubbing against him. Harvey’s hands cupped his ass possessively, his middle finger pressing on Mike’s butt crack through the fabric.

Mike shivered and moaned, arching his back.

They broke the kiss to catch their breath, Mike resting his forehead on Harvey’s shoulder.

“I think we should get in. Catering’s gonna be here soon.”, Harvey whispered in his ear, panting.

Mike groaned and finally tilted his head back up, claiming Harvey’s lips one more time.

“Let’s go.”, he said, breaking the kiss and moving out of Harvey’s lap like nothing happened.

 _This kid was really incredible_.

Just as they were coming out of the car, both trying to hide their erection by pulling on their shirt and t-shirt, a truck pulled over right next to the Aston Martin.

Mike smiled at Harvey knowingly. They retrieved their luggage from the trunk and stepped inside the oceanfront house.


	7. The Party

Mike's Wainscott's house was a 3000 sq ft house on a 2.3 acres property with 5 bedrooms, 5 bathrooms, a large living room, a large modern kitchen, a study and a pool. The living room opened to a large deck overlooking the ocean with a private lane to the beach. Everything was white, every furniture was white wood, white couches, white wooden chairs and white kitchen. 

Well it certainly used to be all white before the decorating team filled every room and the deck and pool area with pink ribbons, pink balloons and pink flags. 

"Wow.", once again was all Harvey could manage upon stepping on the desk.

The view was breathtaking and Harvey instantly relaxed.

Mike smiled.

"I've got things to go over before the guests arrive, make yourself at home.", he said, going back inside the house.

Harvey also went back in.

"Do you need any help ?", he asked Mike who had his hands full with Harvey's suitcase and his duffle bag.

"Hum...", he pursed his lips. "You could set up the tables and chairs by the pool ? Everything's stored in the pool house."

"Sure.", Harvey replied, heading outside.

The garden was a thing of beauty. Well groomed and not as dry as you'd have expected from an oceanfront garden. A magnolia tree was in full bloom on the side of the house and Harvey followed the white wood Japanese paths leading to the pool area. 

The pool house door was opened. Inside the rather large cabana were neatly folded wrought-iron chairs and equally neatly stored tables. On one of the walls hung pictures from previous parties. Harvey recognized Mike on some of them and guessed he would meet the other smiling faces tonight. 

"Hey !"

He jumped.

"Sorry if I scared you !", a cute blond woman laughed.

She was beautiful, waves of curly blond hair covering her bare shoulders, killer smile and soft eyes.

"It's ok. Are you Jenny ?", he asked, offering his hand to shake.

"Yes.", she said, shaking his hand earnestly. "And you must be Harvey."

She smiled genuinely when he nodded.

"Well, nice to meet you ! Mike speaks highly of you if you know what I mean.", she winked. "But don't tell him I told you that, he'd kill me."

Harvey smiled. Mike had told his friend about him ? He had barely talked about him to Donna.

"My lips are sealed.", he said. "So you're turning 30 ? Happy birthday !"

"Yeah, the big 3.0 tomorrow !", she laughed. "Need help with the tables and chairs ?"

Harvey nodded.

"Please."

 

When they were done with their task, they sat down around one of the tables.

"So, how long have you known Mike ?", he asked, discarding his jacket. 

The sun was slowly setting down but it was still warm.

"Well, we met... 20 years ago. We went to school together. He was 4 years ahead and the other kids were bullying him so I took him under my wing, he's like a little brother to me. The age difference might not be so important now, we're both adults but when his parents died, I felt even more protective towards him.", she told Harvey.

"He's lucky to have met you."

"You're also going to meet Trevor, who is his best friend, and my husband of two years. They were inseparable !"

Harvey smiled.

"Mike told me how you two met...", she said with a smirk.

Harvey laughed and looked away.

"Oh my God..."

"You know what ? I actually find it romantic. I mean, in a plane ?!", she grinned.

"Do you mind if we change the subject...", Harvey smiled sheepishly.

She was his best friend, of course Mike had told her. This moment would probably always be one of his best memories but he didn't feel particularly proud of his performance. 

"Don't be shy.", she said, placing a reassuring hand on Harvey's. "You don't strike me as the kind of man who’d be shy anyway. Relax. Mike is the nicest guy you'll ever meet. You know what they say ? That you can truly know a person by getting to know their friends. So take a deep breath, enjoy the evening and talk to people, they're all dying to meet the guy who managed to measure up to Mike's impossibly high standards."

Harvey chuckled. Mike had already told all his friends about him. What had he told them ? That he was his boyfriend ? Though he should feel a little trapped, he instead felt a warm feeling in his chest.

"Let's get back inside.", Jenny said.

"Just one thing Jenny. How long has this party been planned for ?", Harvey asked.

"To be honest ? As soon as Mike bought the house last summer I knew I wanted to throw a big party here !", she laughed. "But we only really sent the invites a month ago, why ?"

"Oh I was just wondering how long it took to set up a party like this.", he lied.

He had been trapped. Mike knew they weren't going to have dinner together when he had texted him the previous day. 

 

When they came back in the house, Mike was wrestling a dark haired man and they were laughing like idiots.

"Meet Trevor, my husband.", Jenny sighed with a fond smile.

The dark haired man let go of Mike's arms and smiled to Harvey.

"You must be the infamous Harvey.", he said handing out his hand.

"I don't know about infamous, but I'm Harvey.", he said, shaking the offered hand.

"You have no idea what we've heard about you.", Trevor chuckled.

"Shut up asshole !", Mike yelled, his cheeks burning as he gave Trevor a sharp, upward slap to the back of the head.

Harvey laughed and gave a reassuring look to Mike.

"Come on boys ! The guests will be here in 20 minutes, is everything set up ?", Jenny asked impatiently.

"Yes M'am.", Trevor replied, pulling her into a bear hug. "Nice to meet you, dude.", he winked at Harvey.

"Me too.", Harvey replied softly.

The bell rang.

"I'll get it.", Mike said. "Trevor, why don't you do something useful for once and put some music on ?"

Trevor laughed and headed back outside.

Mike came back seconds later arm in arm with a gorgeous brunette.

"Rachel !", Jenny squealed, wrapping her arms around the sharp-dressed woman’s shoulders.

"Jenny, it's no nice to see you ! Happy birthday !"

Rachel smirked when she saw Harvey.

"You're Harvey, right ?", she asked, offering her hand.

"I am. Nice to meet you Rachel.", Harvey replied politely.

"Mike had a tendency to exaggerate but he did not when he described you. Very nice to meet you too.", she said with a grin.

Mike blushed again and rolled his eyes.

"Did you all agree to embarrass me tonight or what ?", he huffed.

Rachel and Jenny exchanged knowing looks. 

The doorbell rang again and Mike left them only to come back a few seconds later with two men.

Mike pointed his finger at the girls.

"Let me do the introduction, alright ? And why don't you go join Trevor by the pool ?", he said with a frown.

Harvey stifled a chuckle. Seeing Mike embarrassed was a quite enjoyable new thing.

"Harvey, this is Gregory and Benjamin, two of my Harvard classmates."

The men shook hands.

"Let's join them outside, Tom texted me to say he would be late.", Mike said, putting a hand on the small of Harvey's back as they stepped on the deck and took the stairs to the pool.

Music was blasting and Trevor was already pouring glasses of champagne.

Jenny waited for everybody to grab a glass and raised hers.

"I would like to thank you all for coming, the weather is beautiful and I'm sure we're going to have a blast. Camera's on the table over there by the way, as usual, take as much pictures as you can, Mike's pool house has a lot more room ! Speaking of Mike, I'd like to raise my glass to you and thank you for having my party here and for being the best friend ever. Everybody raise your glass to the genius with the biggest heart in the world !", she yelled the last sentence out and took a large gulp of her champagne.

Everybody cheered.

"It's not supposed to be about me Jenny !", Mike said, blushing yet again.

It was starting to become Harvey's favorite side of Mike.

The girls headed straight to the buffet. 

Mike, Gregory and Benjamin walked to the pool house to check on the newest additions on the wall.

Trevor approached Harvey.

"Who would have believed Mike would ever own such a place ?", he said, holding his glass in the air, motioning to the house.

"It's a beautiful place.", Harvey agreed.

"Mike probably didn't know how to tell you and it's better that you don't find out randomly during a conversation with one of us.", Trevor said. "But there's someone called Tom coming later and he's Mike's ex."

Harvey swallowed hard.

"Don't worry about him though. Mike is totally crazy about you.”, Trevor continued. “They were together for 2 years but Mike ended it and they've remained friends. He's curious about you, he wants to meet you."

"Ok, thank you for telling me.", Harvey replied, emptying his glass in one gulp.

"No problem, dude."

Harvey winced internally. _Really, 'dude'_ ? Trevor stepped away to join the girls and get some food.

Mike reappeared at this moment.

"Hey. I hope you like meeting new people.", he said, pressing a soft kiss on Harvey's cheek.

Harvey smiled.

"They're nice.", he replied.

"Yeah, I've been blessed with great friends. Come on now, let's get something to eat. Cost me a fortune, it better be good.", he chuckled.

Gregory grabbed a plate and turned to face Harvey.

"Mike told me you're senior partner at Pearson Hardman.", he said.

"Yes. Mike said you two met at Harvard, are you a lawyer ?"

"I am. Well, I'm obviously not senior partner, but I work for Khalil and Jones. I'm actually looking around for a new firm. Would you happen to hire at the moment ?"

"We'll start a new hiring campaign in September. Give me your contact information, I'll set up a meeting with Jessica Pearson."

"Really ? You could do that ?"

"Yes."

"That is so cool ! Thank you, here's my lame business card."

Harvey took the offered card and folded it in his pants pocket.

"It's not lame. It's a step in your career. And every one of them is important.", he said.

"You're right. In any event, thank you.", Gregory said, putting vegetables in his plate. "So how did you and Mike meet ?", he asked.

Not everybody got the full story it seemed.

"On a plane to Dallas. Actually in the waiting lounge. He happened to be the client I was going to meet in Dallas."

"That is so romantic !"

Harvey laughed. There wasn't anything remotely romantic in the way they had met.

"You could say that, I guess.", he said.

"Tommy !", Rachel yelled, waving at Mike and a blond Greek God. 

They walked down the wooden stairs and were greeted by the guests.

"Tom, man !", Trevor said, pulling him into a firm manly hug.

"Tom.", Mike said grabbing the blond man by the shoulder. "I'd like you to meet Harvey. Harvey, this is Tom."

Tom shook Harvey's hand and smiled. He looked stunning. Bright white teeth, nicely combed wavy blond hair, straight nose, golden skin and a perfectly built body to top it all. Harvey suddenly felt old and out of place, which he wasn’t used to feeling at all.

"Nice to meet you Harvey.", Tom said staring deep into Harvey's eyes. 

Harvey's jaw clenched as he tried to hold the young man's gaze.

"Here, Tom, drink some champagne.", Jenny said, breaking the spell. "And don't tell me you have a competition tomorrow because it's my freaking 30th birthday and I want everybody drunk by midnight !"

Everybody laughed.

"Nah, I'm resting. Rolland Garros is in a week, I can get shit drunk !", he replied with a broad smile.

"Tom is a pro tennis player.", Jenny told Harvey.

"Impressive.", Harvey said with a fake smile.

Why was he feeling threatened by him ? Trevor had told him they were friends. He shrugged discreetly to regain his composure.

He felt a hand brushing his. 

"Come with me, let's take a walk on the beach while it's still daylight.", Mike whispered in his ear.

They quickly escaped the party and walked the lane down to the beach, Mike dragging him by the hand. 

Mike squeezed it when they reached the sand. 

"You imagine how lonely such a cool place can get when you're there on your own now, right ?", he asked, leading them towards the water.

"Totally. It's big. And clearly designed for gatherings.", Harvey replied.

Mike stopped inches away from the water, took Harvey's face in his hands and kissed him.

Harvey put his hands on Mike's hips and pulled him closer, tilting his head to the left to deepen the kiss.

Mike's hands were tracing patterns on the short hair at the back of his hair, making him shiver.

"I'm so glad you're here.", Mike whispered against Harvey's lips.

"Me too.", Harvey replied, smiling.

They walked for a mile, holding hands and stopping for kisses, before heading back to the house. When they reached the private lane, Mike stopped and turned to face Harvey.

"You once told me that people couldn't and didn't want to know you.", he said, a sad look crossing his bright blue eyes. "Well, I don't know about them but I do want to know you Harvey Specter."

He didn't wait for Harvey to object or even reply, he leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to his lips. He squeezed his hand and again, dragged him back to the house.

"Hey lovebirds !", a tipsy Rachel waved at them.

"Come on Rachel, it's not even 10 ! Jenny said she wanted us drunk by midnight !", Mike laughed. "Speaking of drunk, we should get a drink.", he said, pouring two glasses of champagne and handing one to Harvey with a wink.

 

Harvey spent the next hour talking about his firm with Gregory, drinking champagne, grabbing Rachel's arm so she didn't fall into the pool and watching Mike having fun with his friends. 

At one point, around 11:30, a really tipsy Tom approached him.

"So you're a lawyer ?", he slurred.

"Yeah.", Harvey replied. 

"That's great. Mike has always wanted to be a lawyer. He did pass the bar, you know ?", he said, emptying his cup of vodka.

"Yeah I know.", Harvey replied.

It was a little awkward.

"When did you two break up ?", he asked.

He asked because he wanted to know and also to let Tom know that he knew about their relationship. He wouldn't mention that it wasn't Mike who told him though.

"How did you know ?", Tom asked, a little taken aback by the question.

"Mike told me.", he lied. "But I would have known anyway. I'm good at reading people and I could tell by the way your eyes measured me when we were introduced."

Tom laughed.

“My eyes measured you ? That’s a good one ! You know why I did take a good look at you ? Because I think you’re really hot. That’s why.”

Harvey sighed. Tom put his empty glass on a nearby table.

"We broke up a year ago.", he finally said. "I was busy with the tournaments and he had started his business thing so we never saw each other. Life happened.", he said, raising his glass with a sad smile. “I don’t know what you want from Mike and frankly I don’t really care what’s going on in there”, he slurred, pointing at Harvey’s forehead. “But I can tell you one thing : don’t fucking hurt him or I’ll fucking kill you.”

Harvey shrugged and looked away. Drunk threats were so pathetic. He locked eyes with Mike, who was looking at them worryingly. Harvey raised his eyebrows and winced discreetly to ask for Mike's help and Mike smiled and quickly walked around the pool to join them.

"You guys having fun ?", he asked casually.

"Yeah, I was actually telling your lawyer boyfriend that we had broken up a year ago.", Tom replied.

Mike blushed and looked at Harvey with wide eyes.

"I asked him.", Harvey said.

"Ok. Hum. Would you like another glass of champagne, or a piece of cake ?", he stuttered, grabbing Harvey's arm and leading him back to the buffet.

"I've been meaning to tell you, I just didn't know how. Sorry.", he said, looking down.

"There's nothing to be sorry about. And Trevor tipped me before Tom arrived."

"Oh."

Jenny stepped in.

"You guys are wayyyy too sober. Grab a drink and get fucking drunk, alright ?", she laughed.

"Jenny, be careful. Pool's right behind you.", Mike said.

"Bla bla bla...", Jenny said, joining Rachel on the small dancefloor.

"I haven't been to a party like this in ages.", Harvey laughed.

"Yeah, because you're an old man.", Mike teased, kissing him.

"You know what ? I actually feel old tonight.", Harvey said, smiling.

Mike rolled his eyes. He leaned forward a pressed a kiss to his cheek.

"Then you're the hottest old man I've ever met.", he whispered in his ear.

Harvey cupped his chin and kissed him.

"Get a room you guys !", Trevor shouted as he passed by.

"Fuck you Trevor !", Mike replied.

"You wish !"

Mike sighed fondly. 

"He's such a dick sometimes.", he said.

"Yeah and he keeps calling me 'dude'."

Mike smiled.

"He may be a dick but I think he's right, we should get a room.", he gave Harvey a mischievous look.

"You wanna leave the party ?", Harvey asked, feeling his cock twitch in his pants.

"Just for a moment."

He walked back in the house, Harvey in tow.

They walked a long marble floor corridor and Mike opened a door.

"The master bedroom.", he whispered, locking the door behind them and immediately pulling Harvey into a passionate kiss.

They broke the kiss a couple of minutes later to catch some air and Harvey started unbuttoning Mike's jeans.

"None of that.", Mike said, slapping his hand. "I wanna blow you."

He palmed Harvey's already rock hard erection through the fabric of his pants.

"Lie down on the bed.", Mike ordered.

Harvey obliged and Mike straddled him as he resumed the kiss.

Harvey pull Mike closer, his hands roaming Mike’s back under his t-shirt.

"Harvey...", Mike whispered in between kisses, as he started grinding up against Harvey.

Harvey slid a hand between them and unbuttoned both of their pants. He pulled Mike's pants down a little bit, freed his leaking cock and rubbed the ball of his thumb over the head. 

Mike moaned and arched his back. Harvey rolled them over and completely pulled Mike's pants and boxers down while gently licking his nipples.

He then got rid of his pants and lain back down on Mike.

"Harvey...", Mike whimpered, grabbing both their cocks with his two hands and stroking them.

Harvey felt his orgasm build up rapidly so he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Then he pressed hard at the base of his cock. 

One of Mike's hands resurfaced and cupped his face. He could feel warm precome on his cheek as Mike pulled him for another kiss.

"God, Harvey...", Mike let out a long moan.

Harvey pressed wet kisses along Mike's jaw and down his neck before biting gently on his Adam Apple.

Mike's hand on their cocks sped up the pace and Harvey felt Mike's body tense as he reached his climax.

He shook through his orgasm, shouting Harvey's name and stroking their cocks harder.

Harvey came a couple of seconds later, splashing come all over their shirts.

"Shit my t-shirt !", Mike exclaimed, still panting.

Harvey slid to the side and took a look at the mess.

"Water should do the trick. Hand me your t-shirt, I'll rince it.", he said, taking his shirt off.

Mike heaved a sigh.

"I can't really move yet. Either you take it off me or you wait for a couple of minutes.", he said.

Harvey scoffed.

"Rookie."

 

15 minutes later, they were back outside. Trevor and Jenny were making out on a chaise longue while Gregory, Rachel and Tom were playing a drinking game. Benjamin was asleep on a chair. 

When Jenny saw them, she jumped on her feet.

"Guys, it's 10 past midnight, it's presents time !!!", she yelled.

Everybody crouched around the table were all the gifts had been gathered up and sang Happy birthday. Jenny laughed and started unwrapping the gifts.

 

An hour later, all the guests were either passed out on chairs or in the living room or already went to bed. Harvey and Mike each grabbed a big trash bag and put away the leftovers and wrapping papers. They gathered up glasses, plates and cutlery and turned the music off.

"Let's go to bed now, I'm exhausted.", Mike yawned.

 

They showered, brushed their teeth and settled on the king size bed.

"I'm glad you got to meet my friends. I hope they didn't scare you.", Mike said, his head resting on Harvey's shoulder.

"They're really nice.", Harvey replied, his eyes closed.

"Harvey ?"

"Hum."

Mike took a deep breath.

"I know you don't... I mean, you made it clear that you didn't want any type of relationship but I uh... I was wondering, -"

Harvey ran a hand through the young man's hair and cut him.

"The answer is yes.", he whispered sleepily.

He could feel Mike's smile spreading against his skin.

10 seconds later, they were both asleep and Mike was snoring softly.


	8. The Boyfriend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for all the kind reviews ! Really keeps me going !

Harvey woke up the next morning to a warm feeling on his groin and pleasure rushing through his barely awake body. He did not open his eyes and just enjoyed the feeling for a minute, slowly realizing what was causing it. He felt a tongue moving up the length of his cock, lips wrapping around its head and a hand firmly holding the base.

 _Mike_.

He opened his eyes and smiled at the young man who now had swallowed the whole thing.

“Hi.”, Harvey said with a weak smile.

Mike glanced at him a playfully and resumed the sucking, cupping Harvey’s balls and running his fingers tentatively down his ass crack.

Harvey moaned and arched his back. He grabbed Mike’s hair and gave it a gentle tug.

Mike moaned and released the cock, making it pop up against his stomach. He worked his way up and placed his swollen lips on Harvey’s.

Harvey could taste himself on Mike’s tongue and it made his cock twitch in anticipation.

“Told you I’d blow you.”, Mike whispered, nuzzling Harvey’s neck and kissing his way back down.

He spread Harvey’s legs further apart and slid his palm against his balls. He took his cock back in his mouth and tightened his lips around it, his head bobbing up and down. Harvey started thrusting into Mike’s hot mouth and he felt his orgasm swelling.

Mike moaned around his cock, sending vibrations through Harvey’s tense body and he couldn’t hold it anymore. He came hard in the younger man’s mouth, letting out a high-pitched whine.

Mike sighed contentedly and moved up to put his come-coated lips to Harvey’s.

Harvey licked the offered lips and grabbed Mike’s leaking cock, stroking him fast. It only took a dozen up and down movements to send him over the edge and he came with a long moan in Harvey’s hand.

They kissed some more, Harvey stroking Mike gently until the dripping stopped.

“What time is it ?”, Mike asked sleepily.

“I don’t know !”, Harvey chuckled. “You woke up first.”

Harvey held out his arm to grab his phone.

“It’s almost 11.”

Mike stretched out loudly and cuddled against Harvey, his head buried in his neck.

Harvey smiled and held him close.

They heard voices in the other rooms.

“Time to get up.”, Harvey stated, kissing the top of Mike’s head.

“Hummm.”

“Come on, go shower, get dressed and go take care of your guests.”, Harvey laughed.

“Hummm.”

 

 

An hour and another hot make out session later, both men joined the other guests on the deck for breakfast.

“Nice of you to join us !”, Trevor yelled, high fiving Mike.

“Stop yelling baby, pleeaaassse.”, Jenny winced, holding her head in her hands.

“Someone’s got a serious case of hangover.”, Mike laughed, kissing her on the cheek.

“Coffee ?”, Rachel asked them.

“Please.”, Harvey replied as Mike nodded.

Tom arrived at that moment, eyes trying to adjust to the bright light.

“Hey.”, he mumbled, taking a seat around the table.

“What do you wanna do today Mikey ?”, Trevor asked.

“I don’t know. What do you guys wanna do ?”

“We could go for a swim in the ocean ?”, Rachel replied.

“Good idea !”, Gregory exclaimed.

“I’m going to sleep all day…”, Jenny whispered.

Everybody laughed.

“At least we’ve got crazy new pictures !”, Rachel said, holding the digital camera for everyone to see.

There was a picture of Jenny and Trevor making out on the chaise longue and a grinning Gregory lifting Jenny’s dress, revealing a pink thong.

“You’ve got to delete that one Rach !”, Jenny shouted, trying to grab the camera from Rachel’s hands.

“No way !”, Rachel laughed, pressing on the screen to take a look at the other pictures.

“I’ll have it framed in our living room baby, ok ?”, Trevor asked, brushing Jenny’s cheek with his knuckles.

“That’s not funny.”, she pouted.

“Come on, let’s get ready for the beach.”, Gregory clapped his hands.

 

Ten minutes later, they were all walking down the private lane to the beach, towels in hand.

They settled on the beach and everybody except for Trevor and Harvey went to the water.

“I hate salted water.”, Trevor said, applying sunscreen on his arms and shoulders.

“I don’t mind it. But I hate to swim right after eating; it’s actually quite dangerous.”, Harvey replied.

“Mike said it was love at first sight when he saw you. Did you feel the same ?”, Trevor asked casually, like he was asking about the weather.

Harvey scoffed.

“Oh, I guess he didn’t tell you ?”, Trevor looked sorry to have spilled the bins.

 _No, Mike hadn’t told him_.

“He said his heart stopped beating when he saw you stepping out of your car the airport.”

Harvey smiled. He had not known someone was watching him at that time.

“He’s the nicest but also most naive man I know. He’s had his heart broken too many times.”, Trevor sighed.

They both watched as Mike was lifting a giggling Jenny from the water and throwing her back in.

“What happened with Tom ?”, Harvey asked. “He told me that they grew apart but I know it’s not what happened.”

“Tom cheated on him with a guy from his team.”, Trevor revealed. “Mike totally trusted him. He’d trust anybody and that’s a shame. He found out about their affair when he surprised Tom and showed up at one of his tournaments. Mike told me he caught them in the act and when he confronted him later, Tom confessed he had been sleeping with the guy for a while.”

“Little piece of shit.”, Harvey muttered.

Trevor nodded sadly.

“Mike was crushed, to say the least.”, he continued. “He stopped eating and calling his friends. We basically had to break into his apartment to make sure he was still alive. He would cry for days, drink his weight in vodka and buy stupid things. This house actually is one of them. One of the few he didn’t return or sell.”

“How long did that last ?”, Harvey asked, feeling angry and incredibly sad.

“A couple of months. Then Tom apologized, they got back together but Mike couldn’t trust him anymore so he broke up with him for good and they decided to be friends.”, he paused. “Anyway, I was so happy when he told us about you. After he broke up with Tom, he was bitter, saying he’d never trust any man again, that he would never open his heart and fall in love again.”

“How can you be friends with Tom ?”, Harvey asked, playing with the sand.

“I wouldn’t say I’m friends with him. I tolerate him because that’s what Mike wants. He’s the one who got cheated on and he forgave him. I will never…”

Harvey pursed his lips and exhaled through his nose loudly.

He watched Mike spilling water on Tom and laughing out loud as Tom ran after him.

“Harvey ! Come for a swim, the water’s lovely !”, Mike shouted.

“Ah you need your boyfriend’s protection, is that it ?”, Tom asked playfully as he stuffed wet sand into Mike’s swimming shorts.

“You bastard !”, Mike shouted.

Harvey stood up and walked towards them with his lawyer face on. He didn’t want to play but if that meant having a valid excuse to kick that cheating fucker’s ass, he was all in.

He raised an eyebrow, cocked his head to the side and opened his arms in a provocative manner.

“Bring it on !”, he said with a smirk.

Tom laughed nervously and bent down to grab wet sand.

“You wanna play, Harvey ?”, Tom asked.

 _Wipe that smug look off your face_. Harvey grabbed a fistful of sand and stalked over to him. Tom started running.

“Pussie !”, Harvey yelled.

Mike laughed and grabbed his arm, dragging him towards the water.

“Let it go, Harvey !”

The older man bit his bottom lip and threw the sand in Tom’s direction.

“Get in the water !”, Mike said, splashing the water with his feet.

Harvey walked towards Mike, picked him up and threw him over his shoulder. He smacked his ass and laughed at his squeal of surprise. He carried him to the water and threw him into it.

Mike resurfaced laughing and panting.

 

They played in the water for a couple of hours. At one point Gregory went back to the house to get each of them a bottle of water and something to eat.

After lunch, Rachel and Jenny sunbathed while Trevor and Benjamin wrestled on the warm sand.

Harvey closed his eyes and took a nap.

 

 

When he reopened them, the sun was almost down and he was covered in a blanket. He sat up and looked around. The beach was desert and he was feeling cold so he grabbed the blanket and walked back to the house.

The living room light was on and he watched Mike who was sitting crossed-legs on the couch, reading a book.

He tilted his head up when he heard the sliding door open.

“Hey. You finally woke up !”, he said with a fond smile.

“Sorry about it, I must have been more exhausted than I thought. Is everybody gone ?”

“Yep, Jenny and Trevor left an hour ago. I packed our stuff, we should head back to New York, what do you think ?”

“I think I’d love to stay but I can’t.”, Harvey said, sitting next to Mike and kissing him. “I’ll get dressed then we can leave.”

 

Harvey closed the trunk and looked at Mike expectantly.

“Of course you can drive.”, he chuckled, handing him the keys.

Harvey grinned and opened the passenger door for Mike.

“Such a gentleman.”, the younger man laughed.

“We need to stop for gaz.”, Harvey said, starting the engine.

 

When they reached New York at half past 10, Harvey was wondering what to do and where to go. And Mike couldn’t help him since he had passed out an hour ago.

Harvey pulled over in front of La Cucina and stepped out of the car.

“Hello Harvey !”, Patricia cheered.

“Hello.”, Harvey smiled. “Do you think it’d be possible to order and take out ?”

“Of course ! What would you like ?”

He ordered 2 pizzas and beers and got back in the car less than 20 minutes later.

When he closed the door, Mike shifted a little bit in his seat but did not wake up.

Harvey drove back to his condo and parked the Aston Martin in his parking lot.

“Wake up.”, he whispered, gently caressing Mike’s cheek and lips.

Mike looked startled when he opened his eyes.

“Hum… Where are we ?”

“At my place. I didn’t know what to do since you were asleep so I stopped for pizza in Brooklyn and drove back here. Is that ok ?”

“Sure, thanks.”, Mike replied with a sleepy smile.

 

They took Harvey’s private glass elevator and settled around the coffee table in the living room.

“It’s soooo good.”, Mike said, his mouth full. “Wait, is it from La Cucina ?”

Harvey smiled and nodded.

“So, you have met my friends. I am a patient man but you’ve got to give me something to chew on. Tell me something about yourself. Do you have brothers and sisters ?”, Mike asked, wiping his mouth.

“I have a twin brother and a younger sister.”

“Come on now, there’s two of you ?”, Mike chuckled.

“We’re very different. Paul’s a cop, he’s with the Detroit S.W.A.T team. My sister, Johanna, is with my mother in New York. She’s studying to become a nurse.”

“That’s nice. And your father ?”

“He died a year ago.”, Harvey replied somberly.

“I’m sorry.”, Mike said, looking down.

“It’s ok. I mean, he passed away quickly and his last years were very happy. When my mother and him divorced, he was really down but then he met a new woman and they stayed together and lived happily until he passed away.”

“Do you often see your mom and sister ?”

“I have lunch or dinner with Johanna at least twice a month but my mother and I are not on speaking terms.”

Mike pursed his lips.

“Something happened ?”, he asked. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”

“It’s ok. My mother was cheating on my Dad all the time. I asked her to tell him or at least be decent enough to let him go, he loved her so much… Told her that I wouldn’t tell him but then one day, I was coming back from school and I heard… I mean, she and that bastard were fucking on the kitchen counter.”

Harvey clenched his hands into fists and looked away, exhaling through his nose loudly.

Mike sighed and put a hand on his knee.

“Anyway. I told my Dad. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do and I’m still not sure it was a good idea. Paul held me responsible for splitting the family and putting Johanna through the messy divorce. We talked about it years later, but he still hasn’t completely forgiven me.”

Mike didn’t say a word, he let Harvey spit his venom while sipping on his beer.

“My sister’s younger than you, way younger than Paul and I. She’s sweet but I don’t really know her since I cut all ties with my mother years ago…”

He smiled softly.

“See ? I told you my story wasn’t interesting.”

“Don’t be stupid. First of all it is interesting, it helps me understand were you’re coming from. Second of all, it is your story, what happened happened and there is no judgment.”

“It’s depressing.”, Harvey chuckled. “Imagine if I had told you about that on our first date after the game !”

Mike laughed.

“I wouldn’t have cared.”, he said, leaning forward to kiss Harvey. “I would have loved you anyway.”, he whispered against his parted lips.

Harvey’s heart jumped in his chest as he processed the words. _Love. Ok. Don’t freak out, Harvey. Relax. Breathe. Fucking breathe._

Mike must have sensed Harvey’s body tensing because he moved to his lap to straddle him, wrapped his arms around his neck and deepened the kiss.

Harvey did relax a little bit in the warm embrace.

Mike broke the kiss and dropped his head down to kiss Harvey’s ear and neck.

“You don’t have to love me yet, Harvey. I just needed to tell you.”, he whispered, licking his earlobe.

Harvey closed his eyes and slid his hands in Mike’s jeans.

He couldn’t tell Mike he loved him. The last time he had told somebody he loved them, after he had basically put his life on hold for them, he got rejected in the cruelest way possible. He had sworn he would never confess to love again. He had sworn he would never love again.

 

They made out on the couch for some time and then both agreed they should get some sleep. They showered and got ready for bed quietly.

“Harvey ?”, Mike asked when Harvey turned off the bedside lamp.

“Yes ?”

“Is everything alright ? You’re awfully quiet.”

“Everything is fine, don’t worry. I’m just tired.”, he lied.

Mike sighed and turned to the side. Harvey cuddled against him, putting a leg over Mike and pulling him closer.

He wasn’t fine and he wasn’t tired. He just needed to not see Mike’s heavenly blue eyes looking at him like he was the 8th wonder of the world anymore. He needed to be able to think straight.

He kissed Mike’s nape and inhaled his scent. It smelled like shampoo and… Mike. That seemed to be enough to put him to sleep, as he was fast asleep a couple of seconds later.


	9. The Car

At 5 the next morning, Harvey opened his eyes and stretched out, only to realize that the Mike’s space was empty. He rolled over and grabbed Mike’s pillow.

Seconds or minutes later, Harvey woke up again.

“Harvey, don’t open your eyes, you still have time, just listen to me. I just got off the phone with George, I need to fly to Dallas as soon as possible.”, Mike said, pressing kisses on Harvey’s cheek and shoulder.

“Hummm.”

“I’ll call you later.”, Mike chuckled and left the room.

 

2 hours later, when Harvey’s alarm clock rang, he could barely remember the reason why Mike had to leave. He showered, had a coffee, got dressed, styled his hair and called Ray.

“You’ve reached RB Chauffeur Service, please leave a message.”

Harvey sighed. He would need to take a cab if Ray didn’t call back soon.

He paced in his condo for 10 minutes then grabbed his briefcase and left.

When he reached the lobby, Steve, the concierge, stopped him in his tracks.

“M. Specter ! I’ve got a delivery for you !”, he said, handing Harvey a small manila envelope.

Inside was a note :

 

 

> _“Faster, faster, faster, until the thrill of speed overcomes the fear of death…“ Hunter Thompson_
> 
> _Take a look outside. She’s yours._
> 
> _M._

 

Harvey walked outside of his building. The Aston Martin was parked right in front of the building, wrapped in a huge golden bow.

Ray was standing next to it, holding the keys, dangling them teasingly.

“Sorry about this morning.”, he said. “Mike’s plan.”

Totally dumbstruck, Harvey still hadn’t said a word.

He took the keys from Ray’s hand and it hit him. He began laughing hysterically.

“What the hell is going on ? Oh my God, he’s crazy. That’s it, he’s crazy !”

He put a hand in front of his grinning mouth and laughed again.

“It’s a beautiful car, Harvey.”, Ray smiled.

“It’s not just a beautiful car, Ray.”, Harvey corrected with a smile. “It’s one of the most beautiful and exclusive cars _in the world_.”

Ray cut the bow.

“Come on Harvey, you’re going to be late. Take her for a ride. Mike has arranged a parking spot for you over there.”, he said.

Harvey shook his head in disbelief.

“Oh my God, Ray. Are you supposed to accept a present like this one ? How could I ever thank him enough ?”

“Too many questions, Harvey. Just drive the baby to Pearson Hardmann !”, Ray replied, patting him on the back and leaving.

He sat down in the car and pulled out his phone.

“I don’t even know how to thank you. Thank you. When will you be back from Dallas ?”

He pressed "send" and instantly regretted it. A text was the lamest form of contact ever and he used it to thank Mike for a 350 000$ present ?

He sighed and started the engine.

 

When he entered his office, he found Jessica sitting on his couch.

“Nice ride.”, she said.

“Thank you.”, he replied. “But something tells me you’re not here to congratulate me on my new fabulous car.”

“Indeed.”, Jessica said with a smile. “I wanted to congratulate you on your new client.”

Harvey raised an eyebrow.

“Thomas Keller, promising tennis player. His agent called me this morning. He wants the firm to represent him.”

Harvey rapidly connected the dots. _Tom_. He scoffed.

“No thank you. I’m not interested.”, he snapped.

“He asked for you specifically.”

“I bet he did. Still not interested.”

“I’m sorry Harvey, but I’m not asking if you’re interested. You will represent him. He’s coming at 10 to sign the paperwork.”

Harvey rolled his eyes.

“This guy is a douchebag.”

“So are a lot of our clients but it’s never bothered you before.”

“It’s a long story Jessica. It’s personal.”

“Then just make it not personal anymore. It’s business, good business.”, she stood up and straightened her skirt. “I’ll see you at ten in my office.”, she said, and left the office.

Harvey pursed his lips. _That bastard_.

Donna entered his office and closed the door behind her.

“You’ve heard it all.”, Harvey said.

“Of course I have. Who’s this new client ?”, she asked.

“He’s Mike’s ex.”

“Oh.”, she paused. “Why would he want you to represent him ? I mean, apart from the fact that you’re the best.”, she winked.

“We met at the party in the Hamptons. He’s smug and proud.”, Harvey explained with a disgusted look. “Trevor, Mike’s best friend, told me they broke up because Tom cheated on Mike.”

“Oh, Harvey.”, Donna sighed. “You’ve got to stop with that. He’s not your mother, Mike’s not your Dad, it’s their story. It has nothing to do with you and it most certainly is not personal. Think of him as just a new client, a new addition to the firm’s high profile clients. Let it go.”, she said, placing a hand on his shoulder.

As Donna was leaving, Jessica rushed back in.

“Harvey, I just got a notification from Reuters.”, she said, almost breathless, handing her phone to Harvey.

Harvey grabbed it. It explained that Harris Industries had initiated a hostile takeover on ExxonMobil. It showed a picture of George Harris and Mike taken at a conference this morning.

“You know what that means, Harvey. If they follow through, Harris Industries will own the world’s largest private oil company, and therefore become the largest company in the country.”

Harvey smirked. Mike kept on surprising him.

“Apparently, it was Harris’ associate’s idea.”, Jessica explained. “He had offered a merger when he took over the oil department a year ago. ExxonMobil’s board did not agree to the terms and frankly, everybody in the press thought he was crazy when he came up with the idea. He has been working on the takeover ever since. He’s quite the genius. This might actually be the biggest coup of the century !”

“He’s quite the genius… I guess you could say that.”, Harvey smiled.

His phone rang.

“Harvey Specter.”

“Harvey ! George Harris speaking. How are you ?”

“I’m fine, M. Harris, thank you.”, he said, glancing at Jessica. “Hold on a second, I’m putting you on speaker, I’m with Jessica Pearson.”

He put the receiver down and pressed a button.

“George, it’s been too long.”, Jessica said.

“I know Jessica, I’m a busy man.”, Harris replied. “But I’m not calling you about that. We need to meet you today. I’m jetting off to New York in 10 minutes.”

“I just heard about the hostile takeover from Reuters. Risky but ballsy.”, she laughed.

“That’s exactly why we need to meet.”, Harris explained. “Mike has prepared the paperwork and I trust him completely but he wants Harvey to go through it with a fine-tooth comb. It needs to be finalized by Friday. Can we meet for lunch ?”

“Of course, George.”, Jessica and Harvey replied in unison.

“Great. We’re boarding. See you at noon.”, he said and hung up.

Jessica huffed in excitement.

“This is a very good day for the firm, Harvey.”, she said. “It’s your client. This will get your name on the door.”

She smiled proudly and left the office.

Harvey let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding and sat down.

He grinned. _Name partner_. _Fucking name partner_.

“You deserve it, Harvey. I’m so happy for you.”, Donna said, standing in the doorway.

“Thank you.”, he replied in a soft voice, as tears started pooling in his eyes.

His jaw clenched and he took another deep breath.

“Your douchebag new client has arrived.”, she whispered.

Harvey pursed his lips and rolled his eyes. _Greek God isn’t going to kill the mood_. He straightened his vest and jacket and walked his way to Jessica’s office.

“Harvey !”, Tom smiled. “Woo you look scary with the suit and everything.”

Harvey faked a smile.

“Tom.”, he simply said.

“Meet my agent, Jonathan Sidwell.”

“M. Specter.”, the man said, holding out his hand.

Harvey shook it and offered them to sit down.

 

The meeting went well, Jessica did most of the talking and Harvey managed to not make any snarky remark. They signed the deal and Harvey grudgingly accepted to be Tom’s dedicated attorney.

 

At noon, Jessica entered Harvey’s office along with Mike and George Harris.

Harvey stood up, trying to avoid making eye contact with Mike and shook Harris’ hand.

“Nice to see you M. Harris.”, he said.

“Nice to see you Harvey and for God’s sake, call me George. I’m not 80 !”, he laughed.

Harvey smiled.

“M. Ross.”, he said, shaking Mike’s hand.

Mike smiled mischievously and squeezed Harvey’s hand.

“Nice to see you Harvey. Please, call me Mike.”, he said grinning.

Harvey felt his cheeks burning.

“Let’s go to lunch and then we’ll come back here and go through what you’ve set up.”, Jessica said. “George, come with me, there’s something I want to show you in my office.”

Harvey cleared his throat as Jessica and George walked away.

Mike took a step towards Harvey, grabbed his chin and kissed him.

Harvey broke the kiss almost immediately and looked at Mike with wide eyes.

“Not here, Mike, are you crazy ?”, he said, trying not to shout.

“About you, yes.”, Mike smiled.

He leaned forward.

“You look so sexy in that suit.”, he whispered in Harvey’s ear.

“Mike, _not here_.”

The younger looked down at Harvey’s crotch and smiled at the obvious bulge.

Harvey rolled his eyes.

“Let me grab my phone and let’s meet them at the elevator.”, he said, trying to regain his composure.

 

They went to an exclusive gourmet Manhattan restaurant.

“So, Mike, I’ve read about you in Forbes Magazine.”, Jessica said. “Your resume’s quite impressive.”

“Thank you. I’ve always been interested in learning new things and I happen to have been blessed with a crazy memory so I took advantage of it.”, Mike replied humbly.

“Smart and humble.”, Jessica smiled. “How did you come up with this merger idea ?”

“Well, when I bought my shares from George, I promised him I’d expand the oil branch and the only way to do that was to buy other companies. But instead of buying small ones, I decided to go fish for the whale. Of course, they laughed at me when I came to them with my merger plan. I knew they would. They expected me to just walk away with my tail between my legs and that’s exactly what I pretended to do.”, Mike explained. “I worked for the following 10 months on a takeover plan, followed their every move, gathered every little piece of information, found their weak spots and drafted my plan accordingly.”

“Impressive.”, Jessica smiled. “And what makes you think they will follow through. It’s a big fish. And it doesn’t normally work this way.”

Mike smiled.

“I know. And it’s a shame. I’m a firm believer in the small fish eating the big fish.”, he replied, shooting a knowing look at Harvey. “They won’t have a choice. That’s what hostile takeovers are for. I’m pretty sure that my contracts are air tight but I’ll be truly confident after Harvey has proofed them.”

Jessica nodded.

“You’re in good hands with Harvey, he’s the best.”, she said proudly. “In fact, you’re looking at our new name partner.”

Harvey straightened in his seat and blushed.

Mike smiled broadly.

“Thank you Jessica.”, Harvey said politely.

“Congratulations Harvey !”, George exclaimed. “This calls for celebration ! I’m ordering champagne !”

Harvey felt Mike’s foot nudge his under the table.

 

They raised their glass to Mike’s genius coup and Harvey’s nomination.

George and Jessica went back to her office while Mike and Harvey settled in one of the conference rooms.

Donna got them coffee.

“You know you don’t have to be there while I go through the paperwork.”, Harvey said.

“I want to do it with you.”, Mike replied.

“You don’t trust me ?”

Mike rolled his eyes and smiled.

“Don’t be stupid. Of course I trust you. If you think I asked you to review it just because we’re together, think again. I want you to do it because there is no one else I trust with this huge project. This could be the biggest takeover of the century, I need it to be bulletproof.”

“Alright. But first, about the car…”

Mike cut him.

“There is nothing more to say, Harvey. She’s yours now. I love cars but I have never seen anyone look as happy as you did when you first put your hands on the wheel. And if you’re happy, I’m happy. Think of it as a thank you present for agreeing to let me in here.”, he said, placing a gentle hand on Harvey’s heart.

“You’re a mystery to me Mike Ross. I think I’ll never understand how that genius brain of yours works.”, Harvey sighed and smiled fondly.

“Speaking of work.”, Mike winked, opening the first file.

 

 

At 9 pm, they were finally done.

Chinese take-out boxes, beer bottles and paper sheets were scattered all around the table.

“It’s impressive work, Mike.”, Harvey said, sipping on his beer. “You could be a fantastic lawyer. Maybe even better than me.”

“Just ‘maybe’ ?”, Mike laughed. “So your job is the one thing you’re confident about, right ? Well, that and your looks.”

Harvey scoffed.

“Come on Dr Phil, let’s clear the table and head home.”, he paused. _Home ?_ “I mean, and let’s go.”

Mike sighed.

“Actually, I have to go back to Dallas.”

“Tonight ? But it’s past 9.”

“Yeah, jet’s taking off at 11. We’re basically just getting started here, we need a communication strategy among other things and meetings with the board and teams have been set up at the ranch for the rest of the week.”

“The rest of the week ?”

“Yeah, I’m sorry.”

“No, don’t be.”, Harvey said, kissing him softly. “This is huge and highly sensitive, I know it takes time. Go, get the big fish !”, he smiled, smacking Mike’s ass.

“Yeah and I’ll take care of my other big fish when I’m back.”

They kissed and Harvey was pretty sure he had heard Mike whisper “I’ll miss you” at one point but he wasn’t 100% sure so he did not reply but he pulled him closer instead.

 

They packed the contracts and put away the rest of the papers.

Mike left right after and Harvey drove the Aston Martin home. He spent about an hour in his garage admiring the car. He studied the engine, brushed his fingers on the leather interior and polished the bodywork with his sleeve.

He went to bed at midnight and fell asleep holding Mike’s pillow.

 

 

The next two days were pretty busy at the firm and Harold was on sick leave so Harvey was forced to deal with twice his usual workload.

Mike barely had time to call but he sent a lot of texts.

“Miss you.”, “What are you doing ?” (to which Harvey rolled his eyes), “You’re sexy.”, “Meeting is boring.”, “Jenny’s pregnant !”, “I miss your hands and your lips.”, “Friday couldn’t come too soon.”

The texting stopped on Wednesday. Mike did not reply to his goodnight text.

By noon on Thursday, Harvey realized he had not heard from Mike for almost a day.

He was about to try to call him when his cell rang.

“Harvey Specter.”

“Harvey, it’s Trevor.”

“Hey Trevor, congrats ! Mike told me about the pregnancy !”

“Thank you.”, Trevor replied.

Harvey felt something was off.

“What’s wrong, Trevor ? Is it about Mike ? I haven’t heard about him since yesterday.”

He heard Trevor take a deep breath.

“Yeah, it’s about Mike. His Grammy died yesterday.”, he sighed.

Harvey closed his eyes and rubbed his forehead.

“Oh my God.”

His throat clenched.

“Mike called me. He flew back to New York yesterday night. He told me he didn’t tell you. He hasn’t told anybody but I thought you’d like to know.”, Trevor said in a sad voice.

“Thank you. Is he home ?”

“Yeah, well, he’s arranging the funeral. I offered to help or at least be there but he said he wanted to be left alone.”, Trevor sighed. “Harvey, I’m worried. Last time he turned in on himself, he almost killed himself. And I know he’s got a big thing going on with the company, we’ve gotta do something.”

Harvey straightened up.

“I’m going to his place right now. I’ll keep you posted, ok ?”

“Thank you.”

“Donna ?”, he called through the Intercom.

“You’re afternoon’s been cleared.”, she simply replied.

“Thank you Donna.”

He grabbed his things with trembling hands and called Ray. He didn’t trust himself with driving.

He tried calling Mike 15 times in the car and he was sent directly to voicemail each time.

 

45 minutes later, he was knocking on Mike’s door.

“Mike, please, open the door.”

He pressed on the doorbell and knocked again.

“Mike.”

He could hear footsteps and other noises behind the door.

“Mike, I know you’re here. Please. Open the door.”

“Go away Harvey !”, he finally heard.

Mike was clearly drunk.

“Please, Mike. Don’t shut me out.”

“Leave me the fuck alone !”

Harvey’s heart dropped in his chest. He could hear Mike perfectly. Mike was right behind the door.

He closed his eyes and exhaled loudly.

“I’m here if you need me, Mike.”, he said and left the building with a heavy heart.

He called Trevor.

“He’s not answering the door.”, he sighed. “He told me to get lost.”

“I called the nursing home, pretended to be the family doctor.”, Trevor said. “They told me she passed away in her sleep during her daily nap. Apparently, Mike doesn’t plan on having a ceremony, the nurse told me he’s burying her tomorrow with only a priest. I tried to find out in which cemetery it was going to take place but the nurse didn’t know.”

“He’s gonna have to come out of his apartment at some point. I’m going to wait here.”, Harvey said.

“Good idea. There’s a nice café across the street, it’ll give you a clear view of his building front door. I’ll meet you there as soon as I’m done with work.”

“Ok. See you later.”

 

Harvey settled in the small café, right by the window, ordered a latte and tried to call Mike’s landline.

It didn’t pick up but he could leave a message Mike would have to listen to while it recorded.

“You’ve reached Mike and Nicholas’ home, leave a message and we might call you back.”

Harvey smiled.

“Mike, please talk to me. I know what happened and I want to be there for you. Please. Call me. Tell me what I can do.-“

Mike picking up cut him.

“You know what you can do for me, Harvey ? You can leave me the hell alone ! That’s the only fucking thing I need right now !”, he yelled through the receiver.

Harvey’s jaw clenched.

“I don’t want to leave you alone, Mike. You need support.”

“I’ve always been on my own, I don’t need support. I don’t need you.”

Harvey exhaled through his nose noisily.

“You’re not on your own, Mike. You’ve got friends, you’ve got me.”

He heard Mike snigger.

“Yeah, right. And what good does it do ? She’s dead Harvey ! She’s fucking gone ! My only family is gone !”

Mike chocked on his tears, crushing Harvey’s heart.

“Mike.”, he only managed to say.

“I can’t talk right now, Harvey.”, Mike cried. “I need to be alone. Please, don’t come back, don’t wait here, don’t try calling me. _Please_.”

Harvey closed his eyes and pursed his lips.

“Fine. But please, call me if you need anything. Let me know how you are. Please, don’t shut me out Mike.”, he whispered.

“I just want to be left alone Harvey.”, Mike sobbed and he hung up.


	10. The Peonies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long chapter.  
> I'm going away on vacation for 2 weeks tomorrow and I will not update as often as I usually do. But I will update.  
> Thanks you immensely for the kudos and the nice reviews.  
> Enjoy !

Harvey did not try to contact Mike. He did not come back to his apartment and did not try to find out where his Grammy had been buried.

3 weeks after her death, he had learned that Mike was back in Dallas because he had watched the Harris Industries conference on CNN.

Mike had done most of the talking. He had looked tired and pale and had not flashed a single smile, not even for the traditional handshake picture.

Mike had not contacted him either. Harvey had been in touch with Ella, his assistant, when he had needed information.

Harvey felt abandoned and lost. Trevor had called him a couple of times but he had not heard from Mike either.

His life had resumed its sad normality as if Mike had never happened.

 

It was Friday and Harvey dreaded the weekends. They now felt so lonely.

“You should really come to my niece’s birthday, Harvey. It will set your mind off it all.”, Donna said, handing him a cup of coffee.

“Thank you Donna, but I don’t feel like talking to people and playing with kids. It’s probably the last thing I need right now.”, he replied somberly.

“Then you should try calling him. It’s been 3 weeks, Harvey.”

“He asked me not to.”

“He was devastated. They just signed the merger, he’s less busy now and what happened is going to hit him right in the face. He’ll need you.”

Harvey shook his head.

“He asked me to respect his wish and I intend to do just that.”

“You’re miserable, Harvey. He probably has no idea how upset you are.”

“Drop it, Donna. I’m not calling him.”

Donna sighed.

“At least send him flowers or something. Just to let you know you’re here.”

She left his office.

She was right, he should give him a sign, send him a gift. But he didn’t even know if he was in New York.

He ordered 2 bouquets of peonies, sent one of them to his apartment and the other to his Hamptons villa.

When the woman asked if he wanted to write something, he emailed her a quote from a song by Meredith Willson called The Peony Bush.

 

> Twas the peony bush there in my garden 
> 
> That made you turn around and smile at me. 
> 
> Not the zinnias or gardenias with their fragrant perfume, 
> 
> Forget-me-nots in fancy pots or orchids in-a bloom; 
> 
> But the peony bush there in my garden 
> 
> It did the trick as quick as one-two-three. 
> 
> Please decorate my garden gate forever 
> 
> And never will there be any bush. 
> 
> But the peony bush for me.

 

He didn’t sign it.

He had never met Mike’s grandmother but he knew she was the one who raised him, his only relative since his parents had died. He could not begin to imagine how Mike must feel.

He took a deep breath and looked at his watch. One more hour and he would go home.

 

Late at night, he went for a run in Central Park.

On his way back, about a block away from his building, he heard someone calling his name. He looked around but the street was totally empty.

He frowned, sped up and followed the voice.

When he finally reached his building, what he saw stopped him dead in his tracks.

Mike was on his knees, facing the building and shouting at the top of his lungs.

“Harveeeeeeeeeyyyyyyy ! Come on ! Harveeyyyyyyy ! You’ve got to let me in ! Your concierge is a fucking bastard, he says you’re not here ! Harveeeyyyyy ! He says he’s going to call the police ! Pleaaaaasssseee ! I need to see you ! I need you…”

The last part was barely audible because he was now sobbing uncontrollably.

Harvey rushed to his side.

“Mike ! I’m right here, it’s ok.”, he said, kneeling and wrapping his arms around him.

“Harvey, she’s gone. I went to see her at the nursing home but she wasn’t there. She’s dead !”, Mike cried.

“I know… Shhhh.”

Steve stepped out of the building and waved at Harvey with an apologetic smile.

Harvey raised his thumb and mouthed a Thank you.

 

They stayed on the sidewalk for a couple of minutes, Harvey holding Mike tight while whispering soothing words into his ear. He could smell sweat, alcohol and weed.

When he felt Mike had calmed down, and because his knees hurt like hell, he lifted him up.

“Wanna come inside now ?”, he gently asked.

Mike nodded, wiping tears and snot with the sleeve of his dirty hoodie, and they quietly made their way up to Harvey’s condo.

He guided Mike to the couch and told him to sit down.

He poured a big glass of water.

"There."

“I need something stronger.”, Mike mumbled.

“I think you’ve had enough of the strong stuff. Drink.”, Harvey ordered.

Mike sighed and took a long sip.

“The peonies.”, he said, as tears fell down his cheeks. “They were Grammy’s favorite flower.”

Harvey internally facepalmed.  _Of course_ , out of all the flowers he could have picked, he chose her favorite.

“They’re my favorite too.”, he said with a soft smile. “I’m going to take a shower. Make yourself at home.”, he said, placing a gentle kiss on Mike’s neck.

 

15 minutes later, he was about to turn the water off when he felt cold hands tentatively wrapping around his waist. He turned around and pulled Mike into a tight hug.

He grabbed the shampoo bottle, rubbed a small amount into the palm of his hand and began to gently massage Mike’s scalp.

Mike was still sobbing, his eyes were shut and his body was so limp that Harvey had to hold him against the shower wall. He seized the shower head and rinced his hair delicately then proceeded to watch his arms, chest, legs and whole body.

When he was done, he pulled him into another hug and let his hand roam over Mike's back.

"I miss her.", the young man whispered.

"I know."

Harvey lead him out of the shower and dried him. He lent him a pair of pyjama pants and an old t-shirt.

"Get dressed and go to bed. I'll be right there.", he said, kissing his cheek.

He put on a pair of pants and left the room. He grabbed his cell and typed a text to Trevor to let him know Mike was safe and sound and with him. He ran to the balcony and sat on a chair, took his head in his hands, elbows resting on his knees. He cried silently. He felt so helpless and could't help but think about the death of his Dad.

After a couple of minutes, he felt better.

He went back to the bedroom. He had hoped Mike would be asleep but he wasn't. He was lying on the bed, his back turned to the door and Harvey could see his shoulders bobbing up and down.

He braced himself, took a deep breath and lain down beside Mike, pulling him back to his chest and throwing an arm over him. He kissed his nape.

"Tell me about her.", he whispered.

He felt Mike take a deep breath.

"Her name was Edith.", he began, still sobbing. "She was the wittiest and sweetest woman ever."

Harvey inhaled Mike's scent, roaming his hand over his stomach.

"She took me in when my parents died and worked two jobs to support us. We used to play cards and backgammon after dinner. She taught me everything I know. She told me my memory was a gift that should not be wasted, she was always pushing me. One day, when a boy from class had stolen my school bag, she went to his house and punched him !", he laughed.

Harvey laughed softly and pulled Mike closer. He nuzzled his nape.

"She was my only family, Harvey.", Mike sighed.

"I'm sorry Mike. ", he whispered. "You made her proud and you took good care of her just like she did when you were a boy."

"I miss her..."

"You will always miss her. But it will get better eventually.", Harvey said in a low, soothing voice.

"Eventually..."

They stayed silent for a while. Mike yawned, grabbed Harvey's hand and, a couple of minutes later, he was asleep.

 

 

The next morning, Harvey woke up yet again to an empty bed. 

He walked to the kitchen. The balcony door was wide open and Mike was sitting on one of the chair, knees pulled to his chest, puffing on a joint.

"Hey.", he said.

"Hey.", Mike replied, absentmindedly.

"Coffee ?"

"No, thanks.", he replied, exhaling a big thick cloud of smoke, still not looking at Harvey.

Harvey sighed and went back inside.

He made coffee and toasts and was taking a seat around the kitchen bar when his phone rang.

"Hey Paul.", he said, chewing.

"Hey ! I'll be in town tonight, wanna grab dinner ?", Paul asked cheerfully.

"It's not a great time. I'm dealing with some personal stuff and hum, ..."

"What is it ? Are you alright ?"

"Yeah, it's not me. I'm alright."

"Then what is it ? Can I do something for you ?"

"My boyfriend just lost his grandmother and he's greiving."

"Oh."

"I know. Don't say it."

He heard Mike clear his throat.

He turned his head to the balcony and saw Mike standing in the doorway.

"Hold on a second, Paul."

He put his hand over the microphone.

"Is everything alright ?", he asked Mike.

"Yeah. Is that your brother on the phone ?"

"Yeah. Don't worry, I told him I couldn't meet him."

"I don't want to be a burden, I'm going to go.", Mike said, picking up his shoes.

Harvey stood up and put the phone on the counter. He grabbed Mike by the arm.

"You're not a burden, Mike. You'll never be a burden. I'll meet him another time.", he said softly.

Mike's eyes welled up with tears.

"Mike...", Harvey whispered and pulled him into a hug.

"I want to meet him. Invite him over.", the younger man said, sniffing.

"Are you sure ?"

"Yeah."

"Ok."

Harvey picked up his phone from the counter.

"Sorry about that Paul. Actually, would you like to come over for dinner ?"

"Sure. I'd love to meet him. How 'bout 8 ?"

"8's fine. See you later."

"See ya."

He locked his phone and shoved it in his pocket.

"Wanna go for a run ?", he asked.

Mike nodded.

"I have a spare pair of sneakers. We must be the same size."

 

20 minutes later, they were running side by side, each listening to their iPod.

"Harvey Specter !", a man waved at him.

It took him a couple of seconds to search through his memory. He was wearing a suit and his hair had turned grey but Harvey recognized him. _Ted_. His heart skipped a beat. 

They stopped running and Harvey took one of his earbuds out.

"Ted."

"What a surprise, Harvey. How have you been ?"

"Never better.", he replied coldly.

Mike turned his head to him and frowned.

"Ted, this is,-"

"I know who he is, nice catch Harvey. Nice to meet you M. Ross. I'm Ted Philips. Harvey and I went to Harvard together.", he said, offering his hand.

Mike shook it and smiled politely as Harvey pursed his lips.

"Nice running into you Ted, but we still have a couple of miles to run.", Harvey said.

"Here.", he said, handing a business card to Mike. "Give me a call if you ever need a lawyer."

Mike scoffed.

"I've got one. And the best, so that won't be necessary.", he replied, putting his hands in his pockets.

"I know you're with Pearson Hardmann, but you might change your mind when you get tired of... this.", he smirked, making a vague gesture at Harvey.

"Actually, it'll be Pearson Hardmann Specter in a week.", Harvey snapped.

Ted raised an eyebrow.

"Who would have thought that Harvard's biggest cum slut would ever make name partner ?", he laughed.

Harvey took one step closer.

"What did you just say ?", he asked, flexing his hands then clenching them into fists.

Mike stepped in between them. He smiled at Ted dangerously.

"Get the hell out of my face little piece of shit.", he threatened.

"Or what, uh ?", Ted asked, taking a step closer. He titled his head to the left. "Cute bodyguard that you have here, Harvey. You used to be able to defend yourself, I'm surprised."

Mike's jaw clenched.

"You really don't wanna fuck with me today, trust me. Get the hell out of my face _right now_ !", he yelled the last two words.

"Fine.", Ted conceded. "You two have fun.", he sneered.

"Who is this guy ?", Mike asked as they watched Ted walk away.

"I don't want to talk about it.", Harvey replied dryly. 

He put his earbud back in his ear and started running.

Mike caught up with him and grabbed his arm.

"He was your boyfriend.", he said.

"Please, Mike, I don't want to talk about it, drop it."

Mike sighed and pressed play on his iPod.

Harvey ran twice as fast and twice as long as he usually did.

 

An hour later they reached Harvey's building. 

Harvey stopped and bent over, panting, his hands resting on his knees.

Mike stopped by a nearby bench to stretch out.

"Do you often run ?", he asked, catching his breath.

"Not regularly.", Harvey replied. "I run when I'm bored or upset."

Mike didn't say anything. 

"Let's go shower. I need to go grocery shopping for tonight's dinner.", Harvey said, heading inside the lobby.

 

Harvey showered first and then poured himself a cup of coffee. He stepped outside on the balcony. It was a beautiful summer day. 

He couldn't get the previous encounter out of his head. It had been 18 years and the wound suddenly seemed so fresh again. 

 

\--------------------

 

Ted had been his very first boyfriend. 

When Harvey was 10, he had a crush on a boy from his class. When he told his mother, she freaked out and told him he was supposed to have crushes on girls. She even took him to the family doctor to have him checked. Harvey decided he would forget about the boys and focus on the girls. There were a couple of them he found cute anyway. 

It was only when he was around 20 that he realized he was bisexual. He dated Dana Scott for 2 years but they were fighting all the time so they broke up leaving Harvey more disappointed than sad. He quickly rebounded with another girl, and another girl and another girl. 

Then he got into Harvard and met Ted, heir of the Philips Company. They started as friends but Ted was a handsome quarterback and smart student and Harvey quickly fell hard in love. He would do anything for Ted. They had sex for the first time at Ted's studio apartment in Boston. They got on really well, same cockiness, same good looks, same drive for success, same passion with football, but they had to hide their relationship because Ted wasn't ready to come out. Harvey found it difficult to handle but he loved him so much that he put up with it.

2 years and a half into their relationship, Ted's mother paid her son a surprise visit and caught them making out in his living room. She freaked out and Ted basically threw Harvey out and told him to never speak to him again. He then told everybody in their class that Harvey and him were not friends anymore because Harvey had made a pass at him and had not handled the rejection well. When Harvey confronted him, Ted told him he had never really loved him and that he had helped him realize he wasn't gay after all. 

Harvey's heart broke into a million pieces that day and he never really got over it. 

Later that year, he aced his exams, graduated top of his class and got hired at Pearson Hardmann. 

He never got into a relationship again. Then he met Mike.

 

\-------------------

 

It was Mike who put him out of his reverie when he joined him on the balcony.

"You're thinking about him ?"

Harvey nodded, taking a sip from his cup.

"I'm not sure I wanna know the whole story.", Mike said. "Not today anyway. But I'm pretty sure he's the reason why you think you're not worthy of love. Am I wrong ?"

Harvey pursed his lips and turned his head to face Mike.

"He's the reason for a lot of things."

"I hate him.", Mike snapped.

 _So do I_.

“He doesn’t deserve anything, Mike. Not even your hate.”, Harvey said, emptying his cup. “I’m going to go get stuff for dinner. I’ll be right back.”

 

Harvey had only left minutes ago when there was a knock on the door.

“Hey ! I’m Paul, Harvey’s brother.”

“No kidding ! You’re another Harvey !”, Mike exclaimed. “I’m Mike. Come in… I guess. Harvey’s not here, he went shopping for dinner, he’ll be back soon.”

“Nice to meet you Mike. I’m sorry about what happened.”

“Thank you. Nice to meet you too, coffee ?”

“That’d be great thanks.”

They settled on the balcony.

“How hold are you ?”, Paul asked.

Mike laughed.

“I’m 26. I know, I look younger.”

“You do. But at least you’re legal !”, Paul smiled. “And what do you do for a living ?”

“Hum… I’m a CEO.”, Mike replied hesitantly.

“Cool. What company ?”

“Harris Industries.”

“What ?”, Paul almost spilled his coffee.

“Harries Industries.”

“Yeah yeah, I got that. You mean you’re head of America’s biggest company ?”

“Actually, I’m co-head. George Harris is my co-CEO. I own half the company.”

“Wow.”, Paul said, leaning back in his chair. “Where and when did you meet my brother ? Oh no wait ! Let me guess : work.”

“Indeed. He’s our lawyer.”

“Isn’t dating your lawyer crossing the line a little bit ?”

“I guess. Harvey’s the one crossing the line. It’s very new, though.”

“How long ?”

“5, 6 weeks ?”

“Very new !”, Paul chuckled. “I’ve been married for 13 years.”

“Harvey told me you’re with the S.W.A.T.”

“Yeah, Harvey and I are on different sides of the law. I catch the bad guys, he puts them away. He’s a great lawyer, I’m proud of him.”

Mike smiled.

“Paul, what are you doing here ?”

Mike and Paul turned their head.

Harvey was standing in the doorway, carrying brown bags.

“Uh, I’m here because you invited me ?”

“Don’t play dumb, Blondie, we said 8, not 2.”

Paul rolled his eyes.

“You know what ? I’m glad I came in early because I got to spend a quiet moment your guy.”, Paul smiled.

“My ears wouldn’t stop buzzing, now I know why.”, Harvey said rolling his eyes.

Mike laughed.

“You two are exactly the same ! The eye rolling is genetic !”

“No we’re not the same.”, Paul stated. “I’m way sexier.”

“Yeah, yeah.”, Harvey mumbled, putting cans and boxes in a cupboard.

“Harvey, let’s be serious for a second. I’ve got a request.”, Paul said calmly.

“I knew you didn’t just want to have dinner with me. What is it ?”

Paul cleared his throat.

“Well, Mum is getting married next month and she would like you to be there.”, he pouted and batted his eyelash.

Harvey sneered.

“No, thank you.”, he just replied.

“Harvey.”

“I’m not attending that bitch’s wedding. Period.”

“Don’t call her that, she’s our mother !”, Paul shouted.

“Still a bitch.”, Harvey deadpanned.

“Come on, Harvey ! One freaking day in your perfect little self-centered life.”

Mike cleared his throat and stepped aside.

“Ok, so now I’m being selfish ?”

“You’re not _being_ selfish, Harvey, you are the most selfish person I know. You’re self-absorbed and smug and freaking stubborn.”

“Paul.”, Harvey said, stepping closer until his face was inches from Paul’s.

“I’ve just come back from a training week in Montana, you don’t want to fight with me, Harvey.”

Harvey smirked.

“And I’ve just had the worst three weeks. Also I’m sad and angry because the man I love is hurting and there is nothing I can do to make him feel better !”, Harvey yelled.

 _Shit_. He’d said it.

“I’m gonna go. Think about the wedding, please. For Johanna.”

Paul grabbed his jacket and glanced at Mike, who smiled weakly and nodded.

Harvey jumped when the front door slammed shut.

“Could this day get any worse ?”, Harvey said to no one in particular.

He giggled nervously.

“I’m sorry, Mike. You shouldn’t have seen that.”

“It’s ok, don’t worry.”

Mike stepped closer, wrapped his hands around Harvey’s waist and gently kissed him on the lips.

“I love you too.”, he whispered, leaning his forehead against Harvey’s.

Harvey closed his eyes and kissed him roughly, unbuckling the young man’s pants.

He slid them down along with his underwear and cupped his ass, pulling him closer.

Mike moaned into the kiss and cupped Harvey’s erection with one hand.

“I’ve missed you.”, Harvey whispered, nibbling Mike’s swollen bottom lip. “I need you Mike.”

Mike slowly unzipped Harvey’s pants and slid a hand into his boxers to grab his cock.

“I’m here.”, he whispered.

Harvey couldn’t wait any longer. He grabbed a bottle of olive oil and rubbed a good amount of it on his fingers.

He then lifted Mike from his feet and sat him on the counter.

Mike shifted a bit and pulled his legs up to give Harvey access to his ass. He grabbed Harvey’s face with both hands and pulled him into a passionate kiss.

The older man quickly worked him open, not enough and he knew it, but he couldn’t wait. He needed to be inside Mike, to feel his warmth. He needed to let it all out. Mike’s 3-week silence, Mike hurting, meeting Ted, the argument with his brother.

He pulled his fingers out and replaced them with his cock, roughly thrusting into Mike, who huffed and winced.

“Sorry, sorry, sorry…”, Harvey whispered against his mouth, his hands almost crushing Mike’s waist. “I need it, I need you, I love you. I love you.”

Mike wrapped his trembling legs around Harvey’s waist and pulled him deeper.

“God, Mike…”

Harvey bit the inside of his mouth and he felt tears pooling up in his eyes. A sudden wave of emotions overwhelmed him.

Mike seemed to notice because he started rubbing his thumbs across Harvey’s cheeks while whispering “It’s ok” on repeat against his lips.

Harvey closed his eyes and groaned. He buried himself inside Mike as deep as he could and stopped moving.

He breathed deeply and heavily in Mike’s neck and couldn’t help his chest from heaving up and down against his equally panting lover.

His angry orgasm reached its climax and he came hard with a muffled cry. Then he felt hot spurts of come splashing on his stomach and chest. Mike was coming silently and untouched.

They stayed still, hugging tightly, until they were breathing normally again.

Then Harvey pulled out gently and realized he had not used a condom. He looked at Mike apologetically and picked up his boxers from the floor.

“You clean up your mess.”, Mike giggled, pointing at the drops of come leaking down the counter. “I’m going to shower, I reek of olive oil.”

Harvey smiled and blushed, picking up Mike’s clothes from the ground.

“Sorry about that, I got a bit carried away…”

“Don’t apologize.”, he smiled. “Never when it’s that good. You should call your brother and apologize, though.”

Harvey rolled his eyes and grabbed a couple of tissues. Fucking Mike had calmed him. He’d call Paul.


	11. The Flowers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chapter. I'm sorry I'm a little slow on the updates but writing and posting from the iPad is not the easiest thing to do. Please bear with me, this might be filled with typos as I don't have a corrector. Hope you enjoy it ! Let me know :) Thanks for all the comments and kudos, once again, they rock my world !

"Who is it ?", Harvey asked, his eyes fixed on the content of his plate.

"What ?", Paul and Mike replied in unison.

"The guy she's marrying."

"Oh, hum.", Paul began.

Harvey had call him right after the kitchen was back to its normal state earlier in the afternoon. He had apologized for calling their mother a bitch but had insisted on the fact that he still thought she was. He had asked Paul to apologize for calling him selfish. Paul was a Specter, so he had somewhat apologized. Not really, but enough for Harvey to ask him to come back and have dinner with them.

"Well, his name's Charles. He's an investment banker, he's 64. He's a cool guy.", Paul continued. "They've been together for 4 years now. The wedding will take place in New York."

"Ok.", Harvey said.

"Ok what ?"

"Ok I'll go.", Harvey almost whispered.

He didn't want to go _. Like, at all_. But Paul was right, he should go for Johanna. He hated family gatherings but he would make an exception. 

"That's very nice of you, Harvey. And I'm not making fun of you, I mean it. She's gonna be thrilled. She told me she saw you at Wholefood a month ago. Said you gained weight.", Paul said with a smile.

Harvey shot him a look.

"Are you trying to make me go back on my words ? And I didn't gain weight."

"I'm afraid you did.", Paul chuckled.

"You're a true brother Paul."

Mike laughed.

"It's not funny. Wait until you're 40 and you'll see that junkfood and beer don't magically disappear anymore.", Harvey replied, pretending to be upset.

"They still do for me !", Paul exclaimed, pulling up his shirt and tapping on his rock hard abs.

"That's because your job involves running and climbing stairs but not using your brain.", Harvey deadpanned.

"Yeah, right. I'm sexier than you, get over it Reginald."

"Don't call me that, Frank."

"See ? Sexier than you.", Paul said. He turned his head to Mike. "Reginald is his middle name."

Mike burst out laughing.

"Thank you very much, Paul. I'll never hear the end of it.", Harvey sighed. "When exactly is the wedding ?"

"September 13."

"Of course she would choose a 13th. Am I allowed to bring a plus one or does she plan or making fun of my weight _and_ my celibacy ?"

"You can bring Mike.", Paul replied.

"She's going to be so mad.", Harvey smiled mischeviously.

Mike raised an eyebrow quizzingly.

"Let's say she's not really a fan of my dating men.", Harvey answered to Mike's non verbal question. "When I was younger, a little boy, she told me I was sick and she was afraid I would contaminate Paul."

"Then are you sure it's a good idea to invite me to come with you ?"

"I don't know if it's a good idea and frankly I don't give a fuck. She wants me at her wedding and I'm not going without you."

Mike pulled his phone out of his pocket.

"September 13th... Let me check if I'm free...", he said, tapping on the screen.

"I forgot, big CEO !", Paul exclaimed teasingly.

"Actually, I am supposed to be in Dubai. I don't know what for though, Ella has set the trip... I'll just reschedule it.", Mike said, typing an email to his assistant.

"Are you sure ?", Harvey asked.

"Perks of being a 'big CEO'. You actually can do whatever the hell you want to.", Mike smiled. "And I'd like to meet your Mum."

Harvey rolled his eyes.

"She's going to hate you because you're not a woman and you're not pregnant with my 5th child.", Harvey smiled.

"I can get behind that. I have soft features.", Mike deadpanned.

Paul laughed. "You'd make a hell of a cute drag !"

"Ewww.", Harvey winced.

"Come on Reginald, you took a drag home once, don't you remember ?", Paul teased.

"I said don't call me that.", Harvey said, blushing a little bit. "I do remember her. Not my finest hour."

Mike's eyes widened in disbelief.

"You slept with a drag ?"

Harvey gave him a pointed look.

"No. As soon as she started to undress, I realized that well... We were made the same way underneath our clothes !", he laughed. "I started giggling and she left."

"Oh my God, poor guy.", Mike laughed.

"He made a pretty convincing bombshell.", Harvey remembered. "Whatever. How are Sophie and the girls ?"

Paul smiled.

"They're doing great. I think Sophie's pregnant."

"You think ?"

"Yeah, I can feel it. Her mood's been weird lately and she's always tired."

"You think she doesn't know yet or doesn't want to tell you yet ?"

Paul shurugged.

"I think she doesn't want to tell me because I told her I didn't want any more kids."

Harvey laughed.

"Then how would she be ? I assume that you played it safe if you didn't want to get pregnant again.", he asked teasingly.

"Stuff happens. We may or may not have had sex on the kitchen counter while completely wasted 2 months ago. And we may or may not have forgotten our little plastic friend. She's not on the pill, hates the whole hormone thing."

Mike grinned and Harvey elbowed him.

Seemed oddly familiar.

"What ?"

"Nothing.", they replied in unison.

"Isabella and Carola are going to be thrilled if Sophie's really pregnant.", Harvey said, switching the attention. "But you ?"

"A child is always a blessing. I'm good with the twins but hey, a little boy would be nice !", Paul smiled.

"What if it's twins again ?", Mike asked. "With your genetics, it could totally happen."

"No way.", Paul chuckled.

 

The rest of the evening was filled with laughters, jokes, movie quotes and shots of vodka on the chaise longues on the balcony.

"Wanna stay the night or did you book a room ?", Harvey asked with a slightly higher pitched voice than usual.

The vodka was slowly buzzing in.

"Finally !", Paul yelled. "I thought you'd never ask me !"

"Shhhh !", Harvey whispered. "It's past 2 am and Mike's asleep ! So, staying or not ?"

Paul giggled and poked at Mike's shoulder.

"Leave him alone Paul, he needs to sleep."

"But it's funny, look !", he poked him again. "He doesn't even flinch. He's dead. Hey Mike, are you dead ?", he whispered against the young man's ear.

"Come on, Paul, you've had way too much to drink. It's not even funny, let's get you settled in the guest room. You did not answer my question but I guess you're staying."

Once he had put Paul to bed, he came back outside for a last glass of scotch. Mike was snoring softly, curled up in one of the comfortable outdoor armchairs, covered in a blanket. Harvey sighed heavily and did a mental inventory of the previous day.  Mike was back, a little bit broken but safe and Harvey would do everything in his power to help him go through the loss of his grandmother. He had never felt so protective towards anybody. He wanted to see him smile and laugh and be happy and hopeful.Then he had met Ted. His jaw clenched at the old painful memories. 

He emptied his glass and slowly wrapped his arms around Mike to lift him up. He carried him to the bed.

"Harvey ?"

"Shhh, go back to sleep." He pressed a kiss on his cheek and turned off the lights.

 

Harvey groaned when he heard his landline ring the next morning. Nobody ever called his landline. 

He stumbled out of bed and sleepily walked to the living room.

"Hello.", he said, clearing his throat.

"Harvey ?"

"Who is it ?"

"Your mother.", Helena Cutler replied.

Harvey suddenly felt wide awake.

"What can I do for you ?", he asked coldly.

"I'm fine thank you.", she sneered. "I was wondering if your brother was with you. He was supposed to sleep here but he never showed up."

"Yeah, we had a little bit too much to drink last night so he slept over."

"Great. I was a little worried since you... I mean, since you had an argument earlier."

"He told you ? God, he still tells you everything, doesn't he ? Such a good boy.", Harvey rolled his eyes.

"He told me because I asked him what your answer was."

"I'll go to your wedding. For Johanna and because I'm kind of curious about the fool who's going to make the biggest mistake of his entire life. I'll come with Mike, my partner."

He heard Helena hold her breath.

"Great.", she simply said. "Can I talk to Paul ?"

"He's still sleeping. I'll have him call you when he wakes up. Have a great day Helena."

"Thank you Harvey."

He hung up and heard footsteps in the background.

"What kind of fucker calls you at 8 on a Sunday morning ?", Paul whined. 

"Your Mum."

"Mum called you ?"

"Yeah, she was worried about her beloved son."

"You ?"

"Go back to bed Paul.", Harvey chuckled.

 

They went to see a movie and stopped by Mike's place to grab some change. At 6 pm, they chauffeured Paul back to Grand Central Station in the Aston Martin Harvey did not allow Paul to drive, much to his dismay. The rest of the evening went smoothly, they watched reruns of Suits, Harvey pointing out every detail that wasn't realistic and Mike fondly smiling while reminding him that "it's just a show, Harvey."

They showered and went to bed.

"Harvey ?", Mike said when Harvey had turned off the lights.

"Hum."

"Are we boyfriends ?"

"What do you mean ?"

"Are we in a relationship ?"

"Hum, I guess. I mean, yeah, obviously.", Harvey replied.

He turned the bedside lamp back on and sat up.

"What's wrong Mike ?"

"Nothing. I just... Hum... You said you didn't want a relationship. Then you said yes when I kind of asked you if you wanted to be in a relationship with me. Then you said you loved me. But, hum... Is this really what you want ? I... I just lost Grammy and she was my only family.", he paused and cleared his throat. "Now I have you. I hope I do, anyway. And I could not stand losing you."

Harvey pulled Mike into a hug.

"I love you Mike."

He turned off the lights again and pulled Mike even closer, nuzzling his neck. Harvey didn't know anything about relationships anymore. He knew they were scary and dangerous because as soon as you get emotionnally attached to someone, you become dependant. And when you're dependant, when you expect something from someone, when you trust someone enough to share your heart with them, you become weak. The relationship becomes your Achille's Heel and it can break you like nothing else can. So technically, Harvey would not admit to being in a relationship but he had admitted to his feeling for Mike. He knew that repeating that he loved him was not the answer the young man was looking for but he hoped his touch would convey his feelings.

"I need to go back to Dallas tomorrow.", Mike said, pulling Harvey out of his thoughts.

"For how long ?"

"The rest of the week. I've been away from business since the merger was made public. George has been really cool and compassionate but they need me. It's only getting started."

"I understand. Will you be back for the weekend ?"

"Actually, I was thinking that we could go to the Hamptons."

"That'd be great."

"Cool."

Harvey closed his eyes.

"I love you Harvey.", Mike said in a sigh. "I'm not asking you if we're going to get married, you know. I just want to know if we're in this together. I need to know that you're going to be there."

Harvey sighed and kissed Mike's neck.

"I am."

"I'm leaving at 5."

Harvey pursed his lips.

"At least kiss me goodbye before you leave, ok ?"

Mike chuckled.

"You're such a girl."

"I'm not the one asking if we're boyfriends."

"Reginald, you're clingy."

Harvey kicked his foot.

"Don't call me that."

"What should I call you then ?"

"Hum... Let me think... How about Harvey ?"

"Come on. Everybody calls you Harvey."

"That's because it's my name."

"I don't want to call you Harvey. I mean, not all the time."

"Ok. Who's the girl now ?", Harvey laughed.

"Let's be serious for a second. I imagine that you hate the usual honey, sweetie and baby ?"

"I don't hate them, it's just not me. Really, just call me Harvey."

"Hum... No. I need to find something. And you can call me whatever you want. Well, everything except from Michael."

"Can I call you Mike, then ?", Harvey chuckled.

"I'm serious Harvey."

Harvey laughed and kissed him softly on the lips.

"Get some sleep, Mike."

"Yeah. Goodnight.", Mike sighed.

 

Harvey was woken up by a kiss on the lips the next morning.

"I'm leaving.", Mike whispered against his lips. "You behave.", he smiled. "I'll call you later."

And he was gone. And Harvey was asleep again.

 

When he got to work later that Monday morning, he was welcomed by a jumpy Donna.

"Morning boss. Someone sent you flowers !"

"Who ?"

"You'll have to read the card."

"Which I'm sure you have read already, so why don't you just tell me ?"

She rolled her eyes and watched him read the card attentively.

"You like it, right ?", she asked.

"I hate it."

"Come on, it's a cute nickname. And it's not common. I like it !"

Harvey sighed.

"First of all, please don't read my personal stuff. I know it's no use telling you this over and over but I like to point it out from time to time. Second of all, I'm really glad you like it but it's not for you to choose. I told him I wanted him to call me Harvey."

"Wow. That's so romantic, calling you by your first name... Next step you're getting married on a gondola in Venise !", she said, raising and eyebrow.

"Please, Donna."

"Alright, I'll let you think about it. But he needs an answer by noon, the card says."

"I know what it says, I read it because that's my freaking name on the envelope, not yours."

Donna left the office, throwing a hand in defeat.

Harvey seized his phone and typed a text.

"You really don't want to drop it, do you ?"

He smiled softly and started working on his ongoing cases. He would need to meet with Harold at some point today, the previous week-end had had him totally disconnected with work and he needed a complete debrief.

Mike's reply came in an hour later.

"I'm stubborn. I never ever give up. <3 What's your opinion on this one ?"

"Why would I need to choose my own ridiculous nickname ?"

"Are you in a sour mood ?"

"No, why ?"

"You didn't like the flowers ?"

"I told you I'm not in a bad mood. I loved the peonies."

"Ok. I've found your nickname."

"What is it ?"

"You'll find out soon enough. Gotta go back. xoxo" ":)"

 

Later that day, a hundred white roses were delivered to Harvey's office while he was in a meeting in a conference room. Everybody watched as the two delivrery boys carried the two big baskets of flowers. Harvey rolled his eyes and quickly put an end to the meeting. Donna was grinning when he came back to his office.

She handed him the card.

"This one fits perfectly.", she simply said.

The card read :

"They had ran out of peonies. Besides, what would you do with a hundred peonies, right ? Feel free to shower the ladies of firm with white roses, you've got a reputation to maintain, Hunky. Love. Mike"

Harvey smiled and tossed the card in his jacket pocket.

"I want three of those.", Donna said, coming in the office.

"You've read the card, so just give them away, ok ? Take as many as you want."

"What do you think of the nickname, Hunky ?", she asked with a smile.

"Donna."

"Fine. I'll distribute the roses. I like him, Harvey, don't screw it up."


	12. The Wedding

The weeks passed by with Mike spending most of the week days in Dallas and sometimes even the weekends. Harvey was beginning to understand why Mike needed reassurance on the status of their relationship. Long distance relationships were hard to keep alive. 

There were lots of text messages, long hours on the phone about nothing and sometimes about work and legal stuff. There were a lot of gifts, too. Flowers, chocolates for Donna (Mike had quickly figured out whose good grace he needed to be in), a luxurious fountain pen, a new computer when Harvey had complained about how slow his was one night, an exclusive Hermes tie from France, platinum and crystal cufflinks, a bonsai tree... Harvey had told Mike he liked the gift,  _thank you so much,_  but he found it embarrassing and didn't like to be showered with presents for no reason. Mike had told him these gifts were his awards for best boyfriend, best looking man in the world, most patient boyfriend and sexiest fourtysomething. This earned Mike a couple of eye-rolls.

Harvey was happy. Of course he didn't spend as much time with Mike as he'd have wished to but it felt good to trust someone, good to care for someone and to be cared for, good to love. Still, though Harvey would never admit it because that would be a first in his life, their sex life bothered him. Mike was never there, and when he was, they would go to the Hamptons, lounge by the pool, cook and eat, talk for hours but they barely fucked. Sure, Mike was handsy, when they were together he would barely take a step without one part of his body touching Harvey. Sure, Mike was a big time cuddler and there were the hot morning shower bjs, the unexpected frotting turning into desperate makeout sessions... but most of the time, Mike was either too tired or too busy. 

 

September 13 was just around the corner on this warm end of summer night.

Mike had been in Dallas for two weeks in a row when he returned to New York for the wedding, straight to Harvey's. When the private elevator stopped at Harvey's floor, directly into his living room, Mike quickly tossed his shoes and suitcase away and walked towards the bedroom. It was 2 in the morning, all the lights were off and the only sounds he could hear were the light night traffic and Harvey's soft snore (which he called "sleep breathing" for the record, because Harvey Specter didn't snore.).

Mike undressed and climbed onto the bed, slipping under the white silk sheets. Harvey was lying on his side, a hand buried under a pillow. He pressed his body along Harvey's warm naked body and pulled him close. He felt Harvey's breathing becoming less regular and before he knew it, he had completely rolled over to face him.

"Hey.", Harvey said, his voice raspy and low, pressing a kiss on Mike's nose.

"Hey Hunky.", Mike replied with a smile.

"I want you right here when I wake up.", he whispered, tapping on Mike's pillow. "And right here until next monday."

Mike sighed.

"I'm not going anywhere. I promise. I'm invited to a wedding later today anyway", he smiled, pulling Harvey into a tight hug and kissing his forehead.

Harvey went back to sleep.

 

The next morning, Harvey opened his eyes at 10. Mike was still asleep and snoring loudly. Harvey smiled and brushed a hand through the young man's hair.

"Wake up Princess.", he said, nuzzling his nape.

Mike stopped snoring and opened one eye. 

"Hey.", he rasped.

Harvey rubbed his morning erection along Mike's crack and kissed the short hair in the back of his head. Mike arched his back and pushed against Harvey's cock, moaning softly. The older man grabbed Mike's half hard cock and gave it a few slow strokes to get him fully hard.

"Harvey...", he whispered, putting his hand on Harvey's.

Harvey licked his thumb and pushed it between Mike's butt cheeks until it reached his warm entrance. Mike arched his back and Harvey gently spread his ass cheeks, circling the tight hole with his thumb and index finger.

"Hummmm.", Mike moaned.

He kissed Mike's nape and let got of his now leaking cock to grab some lube and a condom in the bedside table. He coated his fingers with it and pushed two of them back inside Mike while pressing gentle kisses along his neck and shoulder.

Mike rolled on his back, lifting his hips and spreading his legs. Harvey took hold of a pillow, placed it under Mike's hips and settled between his legs, resuming his roaming. 

"Harvey, please, come on.", Mike said, whimpering.

Harvey grabbed the condom.

"No. I want to feel you.", Mike said, seizing his arm. 

Harvey moaned and gave his cock a few strokes with his lubed hand before placing it at Mike's entrance. He bent down to kiss him while very slowly pushing inside him.

"I missed you...", Mike whispered against his lips.

Harvey deepened the kiss, pushing farther inside. Mike closed his eyes and titled his head back, giving Harvey full access to his neck which he began to gently bite and lick.

"I want you here all the time, let's move in together.", Harvey breathed into Mike's neck, sending shivers down his spine. 

He felt Mike tense a little bit and when he didn't reply anything, Harvey grabbed his cock and brushed his thumb across its wet head. 

Maybe Mike had not heard him ? Maybe Mike thought it was too soon ? The words had slipped through his mouth and he knew how sexual tension and pleasure made people say things they didn't really mean. He already regretted saying these words even though he meant them. He wanted to move in with Mike. He wanted Mike here every morning, every lazy Sunday afternoon, every evening, all the time. But even if Mike had not replied to his implied question, he had felt his body's reaction, and it wasn't the good kind. 

He bit his bottom lip, mentally kicking himself for speaking his mind at that particular moment when he should have waited. He buried his head in Mike's neck and thrust deeper and faster inside him, applying the same rhythm on his cock.

"Aaaaaah Harv..."

The younger man came on Harvey's hand seconds later, his body shivering and his back arching. Harvey kissed him through his orgasm. He felt his own erection soften so he thrust harder, but his mind seemed to have turned elsewhere. 

He slipped out of Mike, angry and embarrassed.

"What's wrong ?", Mike asked, caressing Harvey's cheek lovingly.

Harvey sighed. 

"Nothing, I'm sorry."

"Don't be. You're ok, promise ?"

"Yeah.", Harvey replied, catching his breath. "Got your tux ready ?", he asked to change the subject.

"Yup. They were supposed to drop it at my place yesterday."

"We should hurry up, the ceremony's in 4 hours.", Harvey said, sitting on the edge of the bed.

 

Exactly 3 hours and a half later, Mike and Harvey, dressed in tailored tuxes were walking through The Chilton's lobby.

"Harvey !"

Harvey turned around and smiled. Johanna was running towards them.

"Hey, Jo. How are you ?", Harvey said, wrapping his arms around his sister.

"Great ! You look fantastic !", she exclaimed. "I guess you're Mike.", she smiled politely.

"Yes, Mike this is my beautiful sister Johanna.", Harvey said.

"I'm thrilled to meet you.", she said, offering her hand.

"Me too.", Mike replied shyly, shaking her hand.

"Harv, Mom wants to see you before the ceremony starts. Follow me.", she said, grabbing her big brother by the arm. "Mike, she wants to meet you too.", she smiled.

"What does she want ?", Harvey asked.

"She wants to meet Mike.", Johanna quickly replied, knocking on a door and letting herself in.

"Mom ? Harvey's here.", she yelled.

"What should I call her ?", Mike whispered in Harvey's ear.

"Mrs Cutler is fine. It's her maiden name.", Harvey replied, squeezing Mike's hand.

Helena appeared, wearing a light blue wild silk ensemble.

"Harvey.", she said, visibly trying to hide a smile.

"Helena.", he said, putting his hands in his pocket. "Jo said you wanted to see me."

"Yes. Truth is, I wanted to see Mike.", she said, walking towards them.

Harvey put an arm around Mike's waist.

"Nice to meet you Mrs Cutler.", Mike said.

"Please, call me Helena. Just like Harvey does.", she said, smirking.

Harvey rolled his eyes.

"I'm glad you could make it. Since Harvey never calls me or speaks to me at all,-"

"Helena.", Harvey threatened.

She smiled mischievously.

"Anyway, Paul speaks highly of you, Mike.", she said.

Mike blushed and smiled politely.

"You better get going.", Helena said, opening the door. "Thank you for coming Harvey. Charles can't wait to meet you."

"We'll see you at the ceremony.", Harvey said, guiding Mike outside the room.

"She's scary.", Mike whispered when the door closed behind them.

Harvey laughed. 

"She likes you.", he stated.

"How can you tell ?"

"I know her. I've seen it in her eyes."

Mike shrugged and exhaled loudly.

"Brace yourself baby, you're going to meet plenty of scary people today.", Harvey said.

_Wait, what ? Baby ?_

Harvey hoped Mike had not picked it up but the grin on his face told him otherwise. Mike just squeezed his hand tightly and kissed him right beneath the ear.

"I'll hide behind you when I'm scared, Hunky.", he whispered.

They entered the room where the ceremony was talking place and walked towards Paul, his wife Sophie and the twins. Sophie's pregnancy was clearly showing.

"Here come the men in black !", Paul singsonged.

"Hey.", Harvey said, hugging his brother. "Sophie, I can see there's a little one on board.", he smiled, hugging his sister-in-law.

Sophie smiled and blushed.

"Two actually.", she replied.

Harvey raised an eyebrow and grinned.

"You seem to only be able to deliver them two by twos.", he chuckled.

Sophie sighed.

"Tell that to your brother."

"What can I say ? I have good genes !", Paul smirked. "Have you seen Mom ?"

"Yeah, we just saw her. She wanted to meet Mike.", Harvey replied, rolling his eyes.

"So, did she love him or did she love him ?", he asked with a wink.

"I think she liked him. But I couldn't care less what she thinks anyway.", Harvey deadpanned.

Sophie smiled, taking a good look at Mike.

"So, Mike. Paul told me you're a successful businessman ?", she asked.

Mike smiled.

"I guess you could say that. Our company just purchased ExxonMobil.", Mike humbly replied.

"I'd never have thought Harvey would ever consider dating a person who is more successful and richer than him.", she teased. "But since he hasn't introduced us to anybody in more than 10 years, I guess it's safe to say I know nothing about his taste in men or women."

"Sophie, I think your daughters are trying to steal the flowers.", Harvey said in an attempt to shift her attention from Mike.

"Girls !", Sophie exclaimed, walking away from them.

"You play her so well, I wonder why I'm the one who married her !", Paul chuckled.

The room suddenly went quiet, the ceremony was ready to start.

 

An hour later, the 60 guests were gathered in another room for a drink.

"Harvey."

Harvey felt a hand on his shoulder.

He turned around to find Charles smiling at him.

"Hi, I'm sorry I didn't get to see you before the ceremony.", Harvey said, shaking his hand. "Congratulations."

Charles nodded.

"I'm really happy to finally meet you.", he said.

"Me too.", Harvey replied, not knowing what he was supposed to say.

This was rather unconventional. The man had been dating his mother for 4 years and he had never met him.

"Thank you for coming. She'll never tell you, but your mom cried after you told her you were coming to our wedding."

"Of happiness, I hope !", Harvey tried to improve the atmosphere.

"Of course.", the newlywed replied, smiling broadly.

"This is Mike, my partner."

"Nice to meet you Mike. I've followed the takeover closely. This is really impressive what you have achieved at such a young age."

"Thank you Sir.", Mike blushed.

"Call me Charles."

"Right. Thank you Charles."

"You two boys have fun, I have to go shake hands.", Charles said, patting Harvey's shoulder.

"Specter. You could have come say hi.", Harvey heard a voice behind him.

"Scottie. What are you doing here ? Did Helena invite you ?", Harvey asked.

She was beautiful, her long brown locks styled in a posh bun, diamonds dangling from her ears.

"She would never !", she laughed. "I'm Charles' niece."

"It's a small world.", Harvey replied.

"Scottie, this is Mike, my partner. Mike, this is Scottie. We went to Harvard together."

"Come on, Harvey ! Don't tell me you have forgotten !", she smirked, shaking Mike's hand. "He must be getting old.", she said to Mike. "Because we used to date. We were together for two years."

Harvey pursed his lips and exhaled through his nose loudly.

"It was years ago.", she smiled.

"Nice to meet you.", Mike said, interlocking his fingers with Harvey's.

"I'm a married woman, Harvey. You have nothing to worry about.", she said, flaunting her ring finger in the air.

"Who's the lucky man ?", Harvey asked with a disgusted look.

"He's on a business trip in Asia."

"Such a shame. I would have loved to meet him.", Harvey smirked. "How long have you been married ?"

"4 years.", she replied. "And you ? How long have you two been together ? Introducing him to Helena, this must be pretty serious."

Harvey hated how Scottie could turn anything into a competition. He knew he did the same and that was the main reason why the two of them didn't work out. 

Fortunately, Mike stepped in.

"I have a feeling Helena did not like you that much, am I wrong ?", he asked.

"You're right. She didn't like me. But I bet she'd take me over any man.", she replied dryly.

"How much ?", Harvey asked.

The competition, again.

"What ? The bet ? You know that's just an expression, right ?"

"Pussy.", Harvey snorted.

 

The rest of the day went smoothly. Harvey proudly introduced Mike to every member of his family and to some friends. Mike was polite and cheerful and talked about his job with passion.

They went to bed at 2 the next morning, back to Mike's place which was closer to the hotel.

"I like your family.", Mike said, undressing.

"They're nice. Some of them at least.", Harvey replied with a smile.

"You look just like your mother, you know. I think that's why you two cannot burry the hatchet. You're two very stubborn people."

"Yeah. Maybe."

"Harvey."

Harvey looked up from the shoe his was untying with a raised eyebrow.

"There is something I need to tell you.", Mike said, his face betraying worry and sadness. "I'm selling this place."

"Why ?"

"Because it's too big. I'm moving to Texas."

Harvey's heart skipped a beat.

"What ?"

"We're moving to ExxonMobil's headquarters in Irving."

Harvey swallowed hard.

"When you asked me to move in with you this morning... I... It wasn't the right moment to tell you."

"But now I understand why I felt like you did not want to...", Harvey replied.

"I'm bying a new smaller place for when I come back here, cause I still will. But the action is taking place over there now. All the back and forth from New York to Dallas were bad enough but at least, I had reasons to come here. We're closing the New York offices."

Harvey pursed his lips and took a deep breath. A lump formed in his throat.

"I know your job is here and you love New York but... I'd love it if you would follow me to Texas. You could work as our head of legal or start your own firm in Irving.", Mike said in a fake hopeful tone. 

He closed his eyes briefly and stood up. He walked to the window.

"Not even a month ago you asked me if we were in this together, remember ? Well, I don't feel like you're in this. You didn't even consult with me before you made your decision.", he said, his back turned to Mike.

"I didn't make a decision, Harvey. I have no other choice. It's my company. I need to be where the action is."

"I thought you could do whatever you wanted to. You know, 'perks of being a big CEO' ? Then why not move the Irving HQ to New York ?"

"I'm not the only one deciding. And our HQ already were in Texas. We're just moving from Dallas to Irving."

"You have been planning this takeover for more than a year so you knew this would happen. And yet you still insisted and wormed your way in my life."

Mike stood up and walked towards Harvey.

"What ? First of all, the takeover was planned, yes, but I had not thought about what would become of our staff and offices. This is something that we just decided. Second of all, I didn't insist. I opened my heart and you opened yours."

"Well, I opened mine because I thought we could actually be good together, but it seems like your job comes first."

"Of course it does, Harvey !"

"Then you have my answer. I'm not moving to Texas just to be a sloppy second for when you're not working.", Harvey said, tying his shoes.

Mike sighed.

"You know that's not what I meant. I have responsabilities. Thousands of employees, billions of dollars, hundreds of offices around the world. It has to come first. But you're first too. I mean, it's not even relevant trying to compare my job to what we have. It's two different areas."

"I'm sorry, Mike." Harvey grabbed his jacket and headed towards the front door.

"Harvey, wait ! Please !"

"Wait for what ?"

"Could you at least think about it ?"

"Why should I think about it ? Did you think about me when you decided to sell this place ? Did you think about me when you and your board decided to move the New York offices to Irving ? Did it cross your mind that I might feel like I have no choice ? Because it seems like it's either I give up everything I've built here and move to Texas with you or I can forget about us."

Mike sighed.

"It's not that simple, Harvey. My job requires me moving there and my heart wants to be with you. You think it's easy for me ?"

"I don't know, Mike. But it seems like you had no problem making up your mind. Goodbye."

Harvey slammed the door shut and took a deep breath. He stayed still, his back leaning on the door, for a couple of minutes.

 _What had just happened ?_ An hour ago, he was happier than he could remember having ever been and now everything seemed to be crumbling down. He had planned on asking Mike to move in with him again later that day. He had spent the day feeling proud and in love and confident. Confident. 

"Shit.", Harvey spat out in the elevator.

For the first time in years he had trusted, he had let his guard down, he had let someone in. For the first time since Ted, he had loved wholeheartedly, made plans, imagined a future with someone. And now all he could think about was that there was a fucking reason why he had not let anyone in for such a long time : it always backfired. He was not made for it.

He wandered in the streets for an hour before heading to Donna's. It was 4 in the morning but he didn't want to go back to his place. It was filled with Mike. Socks on the bathroom floor, his toothbrush, his cereal bowl...

He pushed the doorbell button. A couple of minutes later, the door opened.

"Harvey ?" Donna motioned for him to come in and closed the door slowly.

"I'm sorry Donna. But I didn't know where else to go...", Harvey said, sitting on the couch.

He discarded his jacket and undid his bow tie while Donna made coffee.

"What happened ?", she finally asked, holding two cups of steaming coffee.

"Mike is moving to Texas permanently."

Donna brushed a hand through her disheveled red hair and didn't say a thing. 

"They're moving their offices from New York to Irving, in the old ExxonMobil HQ."

Donna nodded.

"He asked me to follow him. Offered me a job in his company...", Harvey said, looking away. 

"What did you say ?"

"Nothing. I left. My life is here. He was a part of it but his job is more important than what we have."

"Don't say that Harvey. He's a businessman. He loves you but he's got responsibilities. You always have put your job first, you should understand it.", she said, sipping from her cup.

Harvey snorted.

"Responsibilities..."

Donna sighed and placed a reassuring hand on his knee.

"Get some sleep, ok ? See how you feel about it tomorrow."


	13. The Promise

The sun was way up when Harvey woke up later that day in Donna's appartment. 

He grabbed his phone to check the time and sighed. Everything came back to his mind. The morning bliss when reality has not kicked in yet, the minutes when you can pretend to just be a waking body, it was over in a matter of seconds when Harvey checked his phone and the welcome screen showed 15 missed calls from Mike, 6 voicemails and 8 texts, 5 from Mike and 3 from Paul. The texts from Paul where about a dinner they agreed set up with Helena and Charles next month. _No fucking way_. He blamed it on the champagne. Mike's texts had been sent every hour since 6 in the morning.

"Please Harvey, answer your phone. We need to talk."

"Call me."

"Tell me I'm a piece of shit, a selfish son of a bitch but please, SAY SOMETHING !!!!"

"Harvey."

"Dont listen to ur voicemails I drank 2 much oKay ?"

Of course, he listened to each of them. From what he could hear, Mike had not gone to bed after he had left. One of them featured a drunk Mike 'singing' to U2's New York and making up lyrics to fit their story. Another one, a shorter one, featured Mike laughing hysterically and then bursting into tears and begging Harvey to call him. The others were long monologues probably supposed to be Mike's defense but Harvey could not really understand because of the state the young man was in.

Harvey quickly typed a text to tell Paul he'd get back to him later and then he switched his phone off.

When he walked in the kitchen, he saw Donna typing on her iPad with one hand, a cup of coffee in the other. An ashtray held a burning cigarette.

"Morning.", Harvey said.

"Hey. Sleep well ?"

"Yeah, thank you. Sorry again about this morning...", he said sheepishly.

"It's ok. That's what friends are for and I'm actually glad you came here instead of getting wasted in a shady bar or doing something stupid."

She smiled at him and raised an eyebrow.

"He called me. He texted me. He left me voicemails.", Harvey replied to her obvious question.

"And ?"

"He was drunk." Donna took a puff from her cigarette and handed it to Harvey who took a long puff too.

"What are you going to do ?", she asked.

"There is nothing I can do.", Harvey said, taking another puff and snuffing out the cigarette in the ashtray. He exhaled a thick cloud of smoke.

"He's moving there whether I move there too or not. I think that's pretty telling. Of course he'd like me to come, he would then get the best of both worlds. But what do I win from this ?"

"I'm sorry Harvey... I don't get him. He's obviously in love with you..."

"So am I. I should never have caved in. I didn't want to..."

Donna put her hand on his forearm.

"Don't be too hard on yourself, there is nothing that you can do to fight love. He's the one giving you up."

"There are things you can do to avoid falling in love and I've been doing them for years. Fuck and never call again. Never get attached. Don't ask questions and don't talk about yourself.", Harvey sighed heavily, fighting the bile rising up in his throat. "I'm such an idiot ! Why on earth would anyone love me ? Or love me enough to make sacrifices, to share their life with me ? Ted was right."

"Stop it Harvey ! Ted was not right, Ted is a jerk and you know it !"

Harvey stood up from his chair when Donna's landline rang.

"You've reached Donna's. Please leave a message and I might call you back." BEEEP

"Donna, it's Mike. I, uh... Have you heard from Harvey ? We had a disagreement last night and he left and I can't reach him. I've been to his place and either he's not there or he's not answering. Anyway, I'm worried. Please, let me know if you've heard of him. Thanx."

Donna lit up another cigarette and studied Harvey's reaction.

"A disagreement ?", Harvey sneered. "Thanx for last night, Donna.", he said, picking up his shoes and jacket.

"Call me, Harvey. Anytime.", she said, standing up.

"Thank you."

And he left.

 

He stopped by a nearby coffee shop and got a triple latte to go. He settled on a bench in a small park and turned his phone back on.

"You can come pick up your stuff later on today.", he sent to Mike.

His phone rang immediately. He picked up but didn't say a thing.

"Harvey, oh my God, I was worried about you. Where are you ?"

"What do you want, Mike ?", Harvey said coldly. Hearing Mike's voice made his stomach churn.

"I want to talk to you. Please. Can I come over ?"

"We can talk on the phone."

"Harvey."

"What do you want to talk about ? The fact that you started a realtionship with me knowing that you would leave at some point ? The fact that you chose your job over me without even giving it a second thought ?"

"It's not fair Harvey."

"No it's not."

"Can I come over ?"

"Yeah, later. Just give me time to pack up your stuff."

"That's really how you want to play it ?"

"It's not a game, Mike. Or if it is, it's game over for me. And guess what ? I don't get to play again."

Harvey heard Mike sigh at the other end of the line.

"I'll be there at 3."

"See you then."

Harvey hung up and folded his phone back into his wrinkled jacket pocket. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

"Harvey ! Fancy meeting you here.", he heard.

"Ted.", he said, looking away.

"What are you doing here in a tux at noon on a Sunday ?" Ted sat down beside him.

"Actually, I was about to leave.", Harvey replied dryly.

Of all the people he didn't want to see today, Ted was probably number one. 

"It's a shame, I was about to invite you to lunch !", the other man said cheerfully.

Harvey snorted.

"Yeah, right. And how would that go ? I've got nothing to say to you Ted."

"We're going to be working side by side on the Caldwell case, you know ?"

"What ?"

"They asked my firm to help yours review their paperwork. Better two sets of eyes than one, right ?"

"Then I'll see you Monday at the meeting.", Harvey said, tossing his papercup in a trashcan.

"See you on Monday, Harv.", Ted winked.

 

Back at his condo, Harvey took a shower, ate a couple of toasts and began gathering Mike's belongings. It hurt like hell. Harvey wasn't the romantic type, he wasn't the kind of man who would go for details like smells but still, he found himself holding one of Mike's t-shirt to his nose and inhaling his scent. 

Tears started pooling in his eyes. How the hell was he supposed to just give Mike his stuff and forget about him ? How was he supposed to move on ?

He sat down on the couch and cried silently. Again. It was all happening again. Everything was fine until that one moment. Just as it had happened with Ted. And now he had to pretend like nothing happened, pick up his heart back from the floor, erase the memories and move on. 

 

At 3, Mike appeared in the elevator. He was wearing a pair of tight blue jeans, a white Vneck and red chucks. There were bags under his eyes and his hair was a mess. He smiled softly when he saw Harvey.

"Hey."

"Hey.", Harvey replied, standing up from the couch and handing him his bag and a small plastic pouch. "Here."

He turned his back to Mike, sat down on the couch and resumed what he was doing on his computer.

"What is it ?", Mike asked, holding a set of keys in the air.

Harvey didn't even turn around.

"You know what it is.", he replied.

"She's yours Harvey, I gave it to you. As a present."

Harvey stood up, put his hands in his sweatpants pockets and tried on his best poker face.

"I don't want it. Take it back. Take it all back."

Harvey studied Mike's face.

His eyes were red and puffy, his mouth was pursed and his hurt was clearing showing.

Harvey walked towards Mike.

"You promised.", he said.

When Mike didn't reply, he continued.

"Yesterday morning. You promised you would not leave."

Mike's fingers clenched around his duffle bag.

"I promised for the weekend."

"Yeah, and you promised knowing that you were going to break that news."

"Harvey. My job is important to me, just like yours is important to you."

"Not as important as me, I get it, don't worry.", Harvey sneered.

"I wish I didn't have to choose. I wish you would come with me. I could get you a job. You're a fantastic lawyer, you could start you own firm."

"I can't even consider this option now I understand that I will always come after your job. You could have presented things differently.", Harvey said, trying to hold the younger man's sad gaze. "You could have talked about your plans with me. You could have told me you felt bad about having to make such a decision. You could have said that there was a way for us to be together. But no, what you did was tell me that you were leaving. When I did not jump with joy, you offered a potential job. What the fuck did you expect ? I'm 42, Mike. Well, 43 tomorrow actually. I can't just leave behind what took me years to achieve. Even more for someone who doesn't prioritize his life. It's not the fact that you're leaving that hurts me, well it kills me but still, what hurts the most is how you broke the news and the fact that what we have doesn't seem to count for you.", Harvey almost shouted.

"You know it does, Harvey !", Mike shouted back. "But what if it doesn't work ? I can't put our relationship first."

Harvey laughed bitterly.

"Yeah, exactly, what if it doesn't work ? What if I move to Irving with you and it doesn't work, uh ? I'd have left my life in New York behind for nothing. Who do you think is risking the most here ?"

"You don't understand, Harvey. What should I do, resign ?"

"I told you I understood that you had to move there, that your job was important. Of course I don't expect you to resign. But it hurts to realize I am not important enough for you to try and figure out a way to make things work. That's all.", he swallowed hard, fighting a new wave of tears. "Just go, Mike."

Mike sighed and turned around. Just before the elevator door closed, he whispered "I love you.".

 

Harvey spent the rest of the day sleeping on the couch, watching stupid reality TV and drinking coffee. He changed the bedsheets and went to bed early, wishing for the next week to be busy.

 

The next morning, Harvey spent a lot more time than usual to choose his outfit. Well, of course it consisted in a suit but this was the first time he was going to work with Ted and he needed to feel powerful and strong, especially considering the way he was really feeling and the fact that he was turning 43. He had always hated his birthday and hoped nobody would remember (though he knew Donna would).

The night had been rough, he went in and out of sleep for most of it, woke up once sweating and panting, had weird dreams. He was basically feeling like shit, sad and angry so he chose the suit he only wore twice in his life, the suit he kept for life changing moments. The first time he had worn it was 12 years ago, when he had come for his interview at Pearson Hardmann. The second time was for his first time as first chair in court. It was a dark grey Dior 3-piece suit with a white shirt, ivory cufflinks and a light pink tie. 

He smiled when he realized it still fitted him 12 years after it was tailored for him. It was a little tight around the waist, but Harvey would never admit to that, he was gonna suck in his stomach and smile.

 

He got into the building 10 minutes later than usual and was greeted by Donna when the elevator opened on the 56th floor. 

"Happy Birthday.", she whispered, handing him a cup of coffee and a wrapped gift box.

He smiled.

"Thank you."

"Ted's here, conference room C.", she said walking back to her desk. "Oh, and you look gorgeous.", she winked. 

Harvey cleared his throat and walked towards the conference room. 

"Harvey.", Ted smiled.

"Ted."

"Happy Birthday.", he said cheerfully.

Harvey raised an eyebrow.

"You remember my birthday ?", he asked unbelievingly.

"Our trip to the Bahamas, how could I forget ? Remember when you told the lady at reception that it was your birthday and she sent an exotic stripper to our room ?", he laughed.

Harvey laughed at the memory.

"Yeah... That was a looong time ago.", he sighed. "I'll be right there, I just need to get the files. Did Donna offer you a drink ?"

"Yes. I'm fine, thank you."

Harvey heaved a loud sigh once in his office. Donna smiled at him and lifted a thumb up. A man approached her desk but Harvey could not hear what he was saying. Donna called trough the intercom.

"Harvey, there is a package for you. From Mike Ross."

"Just a second."

He scribbled a note on a piece of paper and opened the door.

"Send the package back with this note please.", he said, handing the folded piece of paper to the man.

"Hum. Alright.", he said and quickly made his way down the corridor.

"What did you write ?", Donna asked.

" _Go to hell._ " Harvey grabbed a couple of files from his desk and fled to the conference room.

 

A lot of people remembered his birthday. Jessica got him a an old vintage restaured record player for his office. In Donna's little box was a Hermes platinum keychain in the shape of a 'H'. Louis wished him a happy birthday through greeted teeth. He still had not digested the fact that Harvey's name now was on the door. Helena sent him a text, like she did every year, and added a "give my best regards to Mike", which almost had Harvey throw his phone across the room. _Mike_. He had almost forgotten. The meeting with Ted had gone surprisingly well, very professional, amicable and profitable. They had always get on very well but never got to work together, though they had spent months talking about their future firm, Specter Philipps. Working together now felt great, like finally getting something you had stopped hoping for. Then they had lunch together with Jessica, talked about how they had met, Harvard, avoiding any mention of their past relationship.

But there, at 7 pm when he got his mother's text, his up until then successful efforts to block any thought of Mike were suddenly defeated. _Mike_. He loved him. He wanted to be near him. He needed to hear him laugh and be cocky. Harvey clenched his fists. He closed his eyes and pictured Mike in his bed, his warm skin shivering with pleasure, his parted lips whispering his name, his hands caressing his butt and hips and back. He already missed him like crazy.

Harvey knew he was the kind of people who got addicted easily. That's why he never took on smoking though he shared a cigarette with Donna sometimes, or had a nice cigar after a big win. He knew how quickly he could get used to things and people. And he had gotten addicted to Mike. To his voice, to his lips, to his sense of humor, to his soft hair, to his scent. And his heart clenched at the realisation he would never get to kiss Mike again, never get to be lazy and watch sports on the couch with him again, never would go back to his awesome Hamptons villa and enjoy the view while sipping on beer with him again. 

"You okay Harvey ?", Donna asked, pulling him out of his reverie.

"Yeah.", he replied, swallowing hard. "I'm going to head home. Been a long day."

"I guess not but I'm going to ask anyway, are you doing something special tonight, for your birthday ?"

"Not in the mood for celebration.", Harvey replied, folding files into his briefcase and closing the lid of his computer.

Donna sighed.

"Can I take you out ? Not to celebrate but just to have a nice dinner ?"

He smiled and nodded. Donna was his oldest friend. She had always been there, had called him on his bullshit when needed, comforted him when needed, gotten wasted with him when required. She was a sister to him. He could definitely have dinner with her. 

They were in the elevator 10 minutes later and stepped out of it to find Mike pacing in the lobby, which stopped Harvey dead in his tracks.

"Harvey, please, I need to talk to you.", he said, walking towards him.

"Need to ?", Harvey scoffed. "I need to spend a quite evening after a busy day. Seems like our needs don't match, which isn't surprising since they never did."

Mike rolled his eyes and looked at Donna with pleading eyes.

"I'm going to wait for you outside.", she said, brushing Harvey's arm.

Harvey closed the button of his jacket and pursed his lips, waiting for Mike to speak.

"You look great.", Mike said. "I thought I'd seen the best of you in the wedding tux but it looks like I was wrong."

Harvey's jaw clenched.

"You said you needed to talk to me...", he said.

"Harvey...", Mike said grabbing Harvey's hand. "I'm sorry for not telling you sooner about our plan to move to Irving. I'm sorry that you feel like you come second to all of it because you don't. I love you, and I don't want to lose you. I want to figure out a way for us to be together."

Harvey looked away. Mike's hand was trembling, barely clutching his, but he could feel warmth radiating from his skin and it felt good. It stilled his heart, cleared his mind. 

"I'm having dinner with Donna.", he simply replied, easily untangling his hand from Mike's.

"Your birthday..." Harvey nodded. "Why did you send my package back ?", Mike asked sadly.

"I gotta go.", Harvey replied, probably sounding harsher than he intented.

Mike bit his bottom lip and took a step backward.

"I see.", he said, clearly fighting the tears. "Happy birthday.", he said and walked away.

Harvey spent a couple of minutes regaining his composure before he met Donna, who was smoking outside.

"Ready ?", she asked cheerfuly.

"Yep.", Harvey replied equally cheerful, with a knowing look.

She was trying to improve the atmosphere and he was thankful for it. 

They had dinner in a cosy restaurant near the office and they talked and laughed for a couple of hours. Neither of them mentionned Mike and Harvey went home thinking he could maybe just forget about him.

 

The next morning proved him wrong. He woke up and stretched his arm across the bed to reach Mike only to remember he wasn't there... He sighed and left the bed. His phone had been on all night and there were a couple of missed calls and voicemails. One of them was from George Harris. 

"Harvey, it's George Harris. I know it's early and I'm sorry to bother you but Mike has been in an accident and he asked me to call you. Please, call me back when you get this message."

Harvey's heart fell down his chest. He pressed the call back button.

"Harvey, thank you for calling me back."

"M. Harris, what's going on with Mike ?"

"He was in a car accident last night, on his way to the Hamptons.", Harris replied.

"How's he ?", Harvey asked, trying to hide how worried he really was.

"He's pretty bad. I'm at the hospital but they won't let me know what's going on since I'm not his next of kin. That's why he asked me to call you."

" _I'm_ his next of kin ?"

"Yes. The hospital has been trying to reach you."

"Please send me the address, I'll be right there.", he said, hanging up, not even bothering to say goodbye.

He got the text with the address, called Ray, took a shower and got dressed. Less than 45 minutes later he was running through the automatic doors at the Presbyterian's. George Harris was sitting on a chair in the lobby. He quickly got up when he saw Harvey. They shook hands and a doctor approached, holding a chart in his hands.

"M. Specter ?", he asked.

"Yes.", Harvey replied, holding out his hand.

"I'm doctor Prescott. Michael has been transfered to an OR a couple of hours ago to undergo brain surgery. He had an accident last night, a drunk driver was speeding on the wrong side of the road and hit his car. Michael wasn't wearing a seatbelt, he was high on marijuana and his head stroke the windshield on the impact, causing a skull fracture."

The doctor paused, giving time to Harvey to process the information. Harvey run a trembling hand through his hair.

"How is he ?", he asked, clearing his throat.

"We don't know yet. He was still conscious when the paramedics got to the scene of the accident, he gave us your name and then drifted into a coma. We had to wait until this morning to perform the surgery, we needed to clear his system from the drug. His vitals were stable, but there is no way to know if and how he's going to wake up.", the doctor replied formally. "The surgery should be over in an hour or so. You can wait in his room if you'd like, I'll walk you there."

Harvey and George Harris followed the man to the VIP wing of the hospital and into a luxurious room which did not look like a hospital room at all. They thanked the doctor when he told them a doctor Bennett would update them as soon as the surgery was over, and they settled on the leather couch by the bed.

"I'm going to get us coffee.", George said with an apologetic smile.

2 hours later, Mike was back in his room, a feeding tube taped to his nose, a breathing tube obscenely obstruating his pink parted lips and the top of his head wrapped in a thick tight bandage. His eyes were also taped shut and there were dried blood stains on his temples. His face was covered in bruses and cuts and his nose was clearly broken.

Harvey took Mike's hand in his and put a hand to his mouth to muffle a sob. Tears were already streaming down his face.

George had gone back to Dallas to take care of important meetings. Harvey had called Donna who entered the room at that moment.

She walked to the bed slowly and stood beside Harvey, placing a comforting hand on the small of his back.

"He's going to be ok.", she said, because that's all there is to say that in that situation.

Harvey nodded and wiped the tears from his eyes and cheeks. Mike needed to wake up. He felt a rush of guilt rise in his stomach. If he hadn't been so cold with him last night, he wouldn't have smoked weed, would have put his seatbelt on and he wouldn't be in this fucking bed being fed by a tube.

"It's not your fault, Harvey.", Donna said.

Harvey looked at her with a pointed look.

"You stay with him, please, I need some fresh air.", he almost whispered.


	14. The Wait

Just before noon, Harvey left The Presbyterian to go to work. Doctor Bennett had told him that Mike wouldn't wake up for a least another 12 hours, his apologetic smile suggesting a "if he wakes up at all". Harvey had to go back to the firm, he had clients to meet.

Donna was waiting in his office when he arrived.

"How is he ?", she asked.

"Asleep.", Harvey replied absentmindedly.

Donna shrugged and left the office. She knew better than to try to get him to talk when he clearly didn't want to.

 

Harvey met with his client at 2' and he and Harold left for court right after. Harvey spent the entire witness testimonies checking his phone and texting Trevor.

When he got back to the firm, Donna informed him that a man, a rep for Mike as he had introduced himself, was waiting for him in his office.

"M. Specter", the white haired man said, getting up from his chair and offering his hand. "I'm sorry I didn't have time to book an appointment because of the circumstances. I'm Taylor Schwarz, Michael Ross' business rep. I also take care of his personal legal requests."

"Harvey Specter, nice to meet you M. Schwarz, what can I do for you ?", Harvey asked, discarding his jacket and sitting at his desk.

"We need to release an official statement regarding M. Ross' accident and current health. You know how it works...", M. Schwarz sighed. "CEO of a huge company is in critical condition, market's going crazy. We need to address the issue."

"I guess but why come here ?"

Taylor Schwarz narrowed his eyes and took out a folder from his worn out leather briefcase.

"Here.", he said, handing it to Harvey.

The cover read "Michael James Ross - CONFIDENTIAL". 

"What is it ?", Harvey asked, opening the folder.

"Here are every document M. Ross has filed since inheriting the money from his parents. There are bank accounts informations, his properties documents, his contract with Harries Industries, everything regarding the stock options he bought, his birth certificate... I could go on. My point being...", and he grabbed the last page and put it on top. "... this is the most recent of them all. It's Michael's will."

Harvey's jaw clenched. He didn't want to even think about it.

"I'm sorry M. Schwarz, but I'm not sure now's the right time to talk about it. He just went out of surgery and there is absolutely nothing indicating that we need to go through his will.", he said through greeted teeth.

"M. Specter.", he paused and pressed a finger on the stapled pages. "This document is very specific. It does not only refer to death but also to incapacity. M. Ross has made you his guardian."

Harvey raised an eyebrow. He knew what guardianship was but he still couldn't really understand why M. Schwarz was telling him this. He started to flick through the pages. The document had been established a week ago. Harvey was sole beneficiary of everything Mike owned. From his share in the company to his persian cat Nicholas. His mouth went dry.

"What does that exactly mean ?", he asked, clearing his throat in discomfort.

"It means you have to basically take his place in the company while he's incapacitated.", the old man replied.

Harvey scoffed.

"What ? It has to be a joke !"

He stood up and poured himself a glass of scotch. He needed the strong stuff.

"I'm afraid it's not, M. Specter. Michael trusts you. He came to me with the request a week ago. We spent a day writing and filing the documents."

Harvey swallowed the content of his glass in one gulp and took a closer look at the will. It stated that "In case of death, total or partial incapacity, Harvey Reginald Specter will act as guardian and therefor make any required decision whether personal of professional on behalf of Michael James Ross. If said guardian does not feel capable or refuses the guardianship, professional decisions will be made by George William Harris and personal matter will be dealt by Jennyfer Maryleen Griffith.". Harvey felt overwhelmed. He had only known Mike for 4 months, how could he be the one making all the important decisions in his life ? Plus, they had basically broken up two days ago, would Mike still want Harvey to decide for him ?

"I cannot join the board. I'm not qualified and I have absolutely no idea where Mike wants to take the company now it's merged with ExxonMobil...", he said, putting the paper down.

"Then George Harris will take care of the business matters. You just need to sign a release stating the reasons why you refuse this part of the guardianship.", the rep replied matteroffactly.

"I still think we should wait, M. Schwarz. Mike is recovering from his surgery and for all I know, he could wake up today."

"I know. But if he doesn't, you need to know what's expected of you. And we need a statement. Since you are Harris Industries' lawyer and Michael's guardian, I'd like to submit my draft to you, see if it works for you.", M. Schwarz said, handing a piece of paper to Harvey.

He nodded and seized a pen. He read the half page statement, outlined a few words, crossed others and handed it back to the rep a couple of minutes later.

"This should do.", he simply said. "Now, if you don't mind M. Schwarz, I have an appointment in 15 minutes."

The rep quickly gathered his papers, left a copy of the file for Harvey to keep and left the office.

Harvey grabbed his phone and called Trevor.

"Hey Harvey, any news ?"

"Not yet. He's still asleep. But I just got a visit from his rep. Turns out I'm Mike's guardian."

"I know. He told me about two weeks ago. He asked Jenny if she would take on your position in case you couldn't or didn't feel like it. He trusts you Harvey."

Harvey pinched his nose.

"We broke up, Trevor.", he said sadly.

"I know. But it still doesn't change the fact that he loves you and trusts you. I don't see anybody else more fitting to be his guardian right now."

"I barely know him, Trevor. I mean, we've only know each other for 4 months. I know you guys, his friends, I know what he does for a living because I'm his lawyer, but that's about it. Why would he leave his life in my hands ?"

"Because he loves you Harvey. With all his heart. And he trusts you. Again, that's what matters, the trust he has put in you, whether you still love him or not, he wants you to take care of his life while he can't.", Trevor replied with a soft voice. "Don't worry, Harvey, he's going to wake up. Just do what you think is best for him."

Harvey sighed heavily and rubbed a hand accross his chin.

"I gave his associate the power to run his business.", he explained. "Is there anything I need to do for him, personally ?"

"Well, he's selling his place here and I think there are visitors coming today. The real estate agent takes care of everything but you should maybe call her to tell her what's going on and that you may have to sign the papers for Mike if a sale happens in the next two weeks. He asked me to help him pack his stuff for the moving, when the place is sold, because he doesn't want strangers to touch his books and everything. You could help if you want to ?"

"Ok, do you have the real estate agent's contact ?", Harvey asked.

"Yup, I'm emailing it to you right now."

"Thank you, I'll take care of it. I have a couple of meetings then I'll go see Mike."

"Let me know how he is, ok ?", Trevor asked. "And don't worry. Worrying doesn't do any good."

"I know, Trevor. But everybody speaks of him as if he was already dead...", Harvey said, his throat tightening.

"Even if he wakes up right now, he'll still have to recover from his surgery and won't be able to leave the hospital for a while. We'll have to take care of it all anyway."

"I guess... I gotta hang up now, I'll talk to you later."

"Ok. Hold on tight, Harvey. Mike needs us to be strong. We've gotta be strong for him. Oh, and Jenny says hi.", Trevor said, and Harvey could hear Jenny whispering in the background.

Harvey smiled softly.

"Say hello to her and the baby."

 

By 5', Harvey was back in Mike's room. There were bouquets of flowers everywhere.

He grabbed a chair and placed it right beside the bed, taking Mike's hand in his. 

"Hi.", he whispered, pressing soft kisses on the knuckles. 

He was relieved to see that the breathing tube was gone, only the thin feeding tube remained.

There was a knock on the door. 

"Doctor Bennett, please, come in.", Harvey called.

"M. Specter."

"Is there anything new ?"

"Not much. His brain activity is still very low but his vitals are good.", the doctor replied. "He's off the anesthetics now so he could wake up anytime. The wound is healing properly, the surgery went very well. Our only concern is the brain activity. I don't see him waking up unless his brain regains activity."

Harvey's heart tightened in his chest. 

Doctor Bennett patted Harvey's shoulder, took a quick glance at the screen displaying Mike's vitals and left the room.

"You have got to wake up.", he whispered to Mike's ear. "I know you probably need the rest with that freaky brain of yours, but you have to wake up."

He brushed his knuckles on Mike's cheek and pressed a kiss to his bandaged forehead. 

"Everybody is worried about you. I called Trevor today, he says we need to be strong.", he swallowed hard and wiped a tear. "I don't know how to be strong, Mike. Don't leave me..."

He cried silently, his head buried in Mike's neck. 

 

He didn't know how much time passed and he realized he had fallen asleep when he was woken up by a hand pressing on his shoulder.

"Harvey, visiting hours are over."

He opened his eyes to find Donna standing next to the bed, carrying his jacket and briefcase.

Harvey stretched his arms and neck, which cracked loudly because of the uncomfortable position he was in. He kissed Mike's cheek gently and stood up.

"Let's go.", he said softly.

 

Later that night, he got a call from Jenny asking him to join Trevor and a couple of Mike's friends to spend the weekend at the Hamptons villa with them. Harvey agreed, hoping to God that Mike would be awake by then, that it wouldn't be too awkward. 

 

Harvey spent the rest of the week visiting Mike every morning and evening, talking to him, telling him about his day, holding his hand, making sure the tubes and different wires connected to his body were correctly taped and not tangled up with one another. 

 

On Friday morning, he arrived in Mike's room to find nurses gathered around the bed.

"Something wrong ?", he asked, rushing to the bed.

A nurse smiled to him.

"Everything's fine, Sir, we're just washing him.", she said, pressing a wet towel to Mike's stomach.

Harvey sighed in relief.

"I'll be right outside.", he said and left the room.

About 15 minutes later, the three nurses came out the room, leaving the door open for Harvey.

"Hey.", he smiled and sat down, stroking Mike's cheek. "All cleaned up ?"

He pressed a kiss on Mike's forehead and was relieved to notice that the bandage protecting his head wound had been replaced with a less invasive one, only covering the left half of his skull. He brushed his thumb across Mike's chapped lips.

"Trevor, Jenny, Rachel, Gregory, Tom and I are going to your house in the Hamptons tonight, to spend the weekend. It would have been a lot nicer with you...", he said, feeling his heart tighten in his chest. "Mike..."

Tears starting pooling in his eyes. He squeezed his eyes shut to keep them from falling and took a deep breath.

His phone rang.

"Harvey Specter."

"M. Specter, doctor Bennett."

"Oh, hi, I'm at the hospital. Is everything alright ?", Harvey said, wiping the corners of his eyes.

"Yes, everything's fine. I'm sorry I can't meet you, I'm on an emergency run but I wanted to let you know that we ran a couple of brain scans this morning and it turns out the brain activity is slightly better."

Harvey let out a breath he didn't know he was holding.

"That's great news. Thank you so much doctor.", he almost whispered, suddenly overwhelmed.

He hadn't slept well since the accident and anxiety was eating him up. This great piece of news was so unexpected and welcome that he felt all the emotions he was carefully hiding resurface like a huge wave.

"I'll talk to you later, M. Specter, have a great day.", doctor Bennett said, like he could hear the emotions overwhelming Harvey.

"Thank you...", Harvey replied in a sob.

He put the phone back in his pocket and ran both his hands through his hair, messing the perfectly gelled up style he had given it an hour ago. 

He breathed heavily, trying to regain some kind of power over the flood of emotions and started sobbing uncontrolably.

Suddenly feeling the need to feel Mike, to be closer to him, he climbed onto the bed and lain down on his side, carefully avoiding the tubes. He buried his head in the crook of Mike's neck, threw an arm around his waist and cried softly, pressing kisses on the warm patch of skin. 

"Wake up baby, wake up baby, wake up baby, wake up baby, please..."

 

He must have fallen asleep because his phone ringing brought him back to reality some time later.

"H'llo", he rasped, rubbing his eyes with his knuckles.

"Where the hell are you Harvey, it's 11:15 !"

_Jessica_.

"Sorry Jessica. I'm at the hospital and I think I fell asleep. I'll be right there."

"You better be. We have a meeting with Caldwell scheduled at noon."

He mentally rolled his eyes and hung up.

"I have to go. I won't visit you tonight and tomorrow but I'll be there Sunday evening, alright ? Be good until then. And wake up. Please...", he whispered, placing a sleepy kiss on the corner of Mike's mouth.

 

 

Trevor and Jenny picked him up at 7. 

He had changed into jeans and a grey Henley. When he had left his office to walk to the elevator, he had met curious and bewildered associates and paralegals. This was the first time he had worn casual clothes at the office. Donna had even whistled when he had exited the men's room, changed for the evening.

In the car, they talked about the baby, Jenny's job, Trevor's plans to remodel his study into a bedroom to welcome the baby, Harvey's new position as name partner... carefully avoiding the elephant in the room : Mike.

Both Jenny and Trevor had come to visit Mike almost everyday, they knew about his condition because Harvey updated them. He was waiting for all of Mike's friend to be gathered to share the great news. 

 

When they got to the beach house, they parked and walked towards Tom who was smoking a cigarette on the steps leading to the front door.

"Hey Tom !", Trevor smiled.

"Hey guys.", Tom replied.

Harvey had been in contact with Tom and his manager lately because they were negotiating a deal with L'Oreal. 

"So, who's coming ?", Tom asked.

"Rachel said she would arrive later and Gregory should be here any minute.", Trevor replied, opening the door and letting everybody in.

They silently made their way inside the house, all of them clearly feeling the strangeness of being at Mike's without Mike.

"Let's get settled in our bedrooms and meet on the deck in 10. I've got the beers.", Trevor said, lifting a bag he was carrying.

Harvey didn't want to sleep in Mike's bedroom and Jenny must have felt it because she pointed to a door with a soft smile.

The room was much smaller than Mike's, less decorated and clean sheets were neatly folded on the edge of the bed.

He dropped his overnight bag on the floor and sat down on the bed. This was going to be weird. He couldn't help but feel guitly that he wasn't by Mike's side.

He washed his hand in the ensuite shower room and walked to the deck.

It was chillier than almost 2 months ago when they were here for Jenny's birthday but there was no wind and the sun was setting down. It was beautiful. He took out his phone from his pocket, snapped a picture and sent it to Mike's phone. "Missing you", he captionned it.

"How are you holding up ?", came a voice behind him.

Harvey turned around and smiled at Gregory who had just entered the house.

"It feels strange being here...", he replied.

"I know.", Gregory whispered, his eyes fixed on the horizon. "I never got to properly thank you for the interview.", he continued. "The meeting with Jessica Person went really well, I have another one with Louis Litt next week."

"Great. Jessica told me she was impressed by you. Louis is a good lawyer and a great mentor. He can be a hardass but he means well."

"Good. I'm going to unpack.", Gregory said, walking back inside the house.

Harvey heard Trevor and Jenny greet Gregory. Waves hitting the beach was the only other sound he could hear and though he knew he was supposed to feel relaxed and calmed by the soothing sound, he only felt empty and alone.

"Beers and friends ! Perfect combo !", Trevor exclaimed, setting a six pack on the table.

Jenny arrived with beer glasses and a bottle of apple juice. She was carrying a small white envelope.

"Here.", she said, handing it to Harvey.

Harvey raised an eyebrow and pulled out what was inside it. There were pictures of her birthday party.

"I thought we could add them to the wall in the pool house.", she sighed.

Harvey smiled at the memories. One of the pictures showed a visibly tipsy Trevor laughing and pointing at Harvey and Mike kissing in the background. Another one was a panoramic view of the beach, taken from the lane, a beautiful shot of the sun being swallowed by the sea. Jenny tapped a finger on the picture.

"It's Mike and you, here.", she said, pointing at the two small silhouettes walking on the sand Harvey had not noticed.

"It's beautiful.", he just said, brushing his thumb across the glossy piece of paper. 

There were selfies of Rachel and Jenny, a cute selfie of a grinning Mike which made Harvey's heart bleed in his already tight chest, a picture of Trevor and Jenny kissing, selfies of Tom, Gregory adn Benjamin, pictures of the buffet and the last one was a picture of a dozen empty bottles aligned on the pool deck.

Harvey put the pictures back in the envelope and grabbed a beer.

Rachel waved at them from the living room and walked away, probably to change into more comfortable clothes.

 

When they were all settled on the deck with a beer or a glass of juice in hand, Harvey cleared his throat.

"Hum.", he said, catching everybody's attention. "I visited Mike this morning and the doctor said there's been more activity in his brain lately."

Jenny squealed as hopeful smiles were echanged.

"To Mike !", Tom shouted, lifting his empty beer above his head.

Beer bottles clinked together and a "Amen" was even heard. Everybody just stared at the sea and sighed.

"When is the baby due ?", Rachel asked, lightening up the mood.

"March 20.", Jenny said, rubbing her tiny belly bump.

"And no, we're not telling you whether it's a boy or a girl.", Trevor snapped teasingly.

Everybody laughed.

Harvey felt bad being here after having broken up with their friend and having upset him so much he had smoked pot and gotten into a car accident. He couldn't help but think that these people wouldn't be here, practically mourning their best friend if he had never met Mike. 

He emptied the content of his second beer and sighed.

 

They ordered pizza, drank more beers and all went down to the pool house to stick the new pictures up the wall. Some of them went to the beach for a walk, Rachel went to bed and Harvey stayed on the deck, sipping on yet another beer.

"You shouldn't feel guilty, Harvey.", Tom said, sitting down on a chair next to him.

"It's my fault.", Harvey said.

"No it's not.", Tom replied, taking the beer from Harvey's hand with a knowing look. "Mike called me right before he took his car to drive up here. He was really upset. He told me that he asked you to move to Texas and that you said you couldn't. He was devastated. But him drinking and smoking pot and driving without his seatbelt had nothing to do with you. It was a drunk driver, Harvey."

Harvey took his head in his hand, his elbows resting heavily on his knees.

"I know.", he whispered, teardrops falling from his eyes down the hard wood of the deck. "But I let him down.", he chocked. "He came to me earlier that night, it was my birthday and he told me he wanted to find a way for us to be together despite his moving there. He said he wanted us to work. And I basically told him to get lost."

Tom placed a hand on Harvey's bobbing shoulder and squeezed it.

"That's just life, Harvey. He could have smoked and driven here for any other reason and crossed path with that fucking drunk driver. It just happened to be after you had an argument. But it doesn't mean it's all your fault. Stop blaming yourself."

Harvey sniffed and wiped his eyes with the back of his hand.

"Go to bed.", Tom said, helping him get up.

 

The next day, the rain was pouring down so they just stayed in and played video and board games. 

Tom and Gregory played indoor tennis in a nearby sports complex.

They watched The Wolf of Wallstreet, snacking on pop corn and M&M's and Jenny slept through the movie while Trevor massaged her feet. 

Harvey called Donna to ask if she could visit Mike, she agreed and he called doctor Bennett who told him the brain activity was still improving, slowly but surely. He shared the news with Mike's friends and they drank expensive scotch from Mike's collection to celebrate.

That night they ordered chinese and played Monopoly, Harvey won hands down and they went to bed early.

 

On Sunday morning, Harvey woke up on a chaise longue on the desk. Next to him was a small coffee table with a half full glass and an empty bottle of scotch. His head was pounding as he tried to remember how he got there. He hadn't gone to bed with the others, he had grabbed a blanket, the bottle of scotch and his phone and had spent some time drinking and going through the pictures on his phone. There were pictures Mike had sent him when he was in Dallas, cute pictures of him smiling or blowing kisses or pouting or sticking his tongue out. 

He stretched out and winced when his back cracked.

"Rough night ?", Trevor asked, stepping outside with two cups of coffee.

"Thank you.", Harvey rasped, taking one of the warm cups in his hands. "Yes, rough night... My head's killing me."

Trevor smiled and sat down on a chair.

"Jenny and I are going back to New York this morning. You can come back with us or Rachel said she would drive you back if you want, she's leaving later in the afternoon."

"I'll go with you. I need to see Mike.", Harvey replied, sipping slowly from the steaming cup.

 

An hour an a half later, they were driving back to New York, after having hugged Gregory, Rachel and Tom. Trevor had left a note for Mike's housekeeper, telling her to change the bedsheets, clean the bathrooms and take out the trash. They had taken care of the kitchen and deck. 

Trevor dropped him at the hospital and Harvey thanked him, promising to update them as soon as something changed. 

He quickly made his way to Mike's room, greeted by the nurses who now knew his name.

"Hey sleepyhead.", he whispered, dropping his duffle bag next to the bed and brushing his lips lightly across the crown of Mike's head. "We had a nice time in the Hamptons.", he began, stroking Mike's hand. "Gregory has an interview with Louis next week, he might be one of our associates soon. Tom and I talked for a while, he's a nice guy, I can see why you wanted to keep him as a friend. Jenny's baby is growing, she's showing already. It's due for next March."

He brushed a hand across Mike's cheek and kissed him softly on the lips.

"Doctor Bennett says there's more going on in there.", he said, placing a kiss on Mike's temple. "It's time you wake up..."

Not letting go of Mike's hand, he used his free hand to grab one of the get well cards resting on the bedside table and read it.

"My dear little brother. You're unbreakable so I know you'll come back to us sooner or later. Better be sooner than later, alright ? Trevor and I want you to be our baby's godfather so you need to get your shit together and open those damn baby blue eyes ! I love you so much little bother. Get well very soon, Jenny."

Harvey smiled and nodded. _Very soon_.

He stayed until the end of visiting hours and took a cab home. He showered then reviewed his ongoing cases, checked his emails and went to bed.

 

 

The next morning, Harvey was up early so he went to the office at 5'. He filled out the form releasing Mike's business rights to George Harris, faxed it to his secretary and started reading all the papers in Mike's guardianship file. 

His birth certificate stated that he was born on november 13th 1987 in New York from Jessica Mary Ross nee Johnson and Mark Henry Ross. Then there was the death certificate of his parents. Bank account balances dated from 8 years ago showed huge amounts of savings, Harvey understood this was what Mike had inherited from his parents when he had turned 18. Then there were diplomas, exactly 10 of them. Ones Vanessa or Mike had told him about, others they hadn't. Harvey learned that Mike had a degree in teaching, a degree in maths and one from the Royal Botanic Garden in Edinburgh. 

Harvey smiled. _Botanic_ ? There were so many things he didn't know about Mike. 

In the file were also is current bank accounts informations. Harvey felt bad looking at these very private documents but he needed to view the whole scope if he was supposed to make personal decisions for Mike. His current checking account balance was $2 875 345. Harvey gasped. That was a lot of money. And that didn't include his shares in Harris Industries or his stock market investment.

Documents for 5 other accounts with twice that balance each were neatly stapled in a blue folder. There was another blue file entitled "Investment" with the papers for his New York condo, the Hamptons house and the two Brooklyn appartment buildings ; all his cars information and official papers ; a copy of his driving licence. 

Harvey closed the blue folder. The next and last piece of paper was Mike's will. It said that Harvey Reginald Specter was Michael James Ross' sole heir. 

Harvey dropped the papers and took his head in his hands.

He jumped when his phone rang.

"Harvey Specter."

"M. Specter, Doctor Bennett."

Harvey straightened up.

"Hello doctor.", he said, bracing himself.

"I'm sorry to bother you this early, but you said I should call you as soon as there is something new."

"Yeah, yeah, thank you for calling. Please, doctor, spill it.", Harvey replied impatiently.

"Mike is awake."

"Wh-, what ?"

"You heard me, M. Specter. He asked for you."

Harvey was speechless. His swallowed hard a couple of time and ran a hand through his hair.

"I, I-, I'll be there in 30 minutes. Thank you."

 

Less than 30 minutes later, he was knocking on Mike's bedroom door.

"Come in.", a feminine voice called from inside.

Harvey opened the door slowly and entered the room.

Jenny was sitting near the bed, knitting with yellow whool. 

"Harvey !", she said, sitting up.

Harvey smiled and looked at the bed. Mike was asleep.

"He just dozed off. He wanted to wait for you but the painkillers kicked in.", she explained with a fond smile, stroking Mike's cheek.

"It's ok. I'm just glad he woke up."

Jenny put her knitting needles in a case and stood up. 

"I happened to be there when he woke up because I have an ultrasound scheduled.", she said, rubbing her tiny baby bump. "He woke up 30 minutes ago. He did not recognize me but he kept saying your name over and over and he started crying so the nurse came in and gave him a dose of painkillers. I'll leave you two. Let him know I stopped by, alright ?"

Harvey kissed her on the cheek.

"I will."


	15. The Hospital

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back at work. It sucks but it also means I'll have more time to write. Hope you enjoy this new chapter. It's from Mike's point of view. I needed a change and I thought it was high time we got to see things through his eyes. Let me know what you think ! And thank you so so so much for the kudos and comments, they are greatly appreciated.

Mike felt a weird itch in his nose so he pulled up his hand to his face to push the sensation away. He felt a hand brushing his and a feminine voice calling his name.

"Mike ! Oh my God, Mike ? Can you hear me ?"

He touched his nose. _A tube. A small tube and a piece of tape_. He scratched on the plastic thing as his pulse started to race.

"Mike, it's me, Jenny. Please, open your eyes for me."

 _That voice again_.

All of a sudden, a rush of pain crushed his spine and he arched his back, wincing loudly.

He tried to open his eyes but he couldn't. His head hurt too much and he was fucking tired. So fucking tired. Were was he ? Harvey. He needed Harvey. He needed to hear his voice. He knew it would soothe his pain and make him feel better.

Without opening his eyes, he tried to call Harvey's name but his throat was dry and all that came out of his mouth was a loud crack. He swallowed hard once, twice and again until his throat felt normal enough to produce an intelligible sound.

"Harvey. Harvey. Harvey. Harvey. Harvey.", he repeated until the hand he had felt earlier settled on his forehead.

"It's ok Mike, you're ok. I called the nurse, someone's coming to check on you. Stay still.", the voice said.

He thought he recognized the voice though he could not tell whose it was. It calmed him down a little bit.

"Hurt, please. My back, it hurts. My head. Hurt. Harvey. Harvey. Harvey."

Mike shifted slowly on the bed, pulling down the bed sheets because he suddenly felt too warm.

"M. Ross, open your eyes for me.", said a new male voice. _Not Harvey's_.

He tried his best to open his eyes, he focused on his eyelids and managed to blink once or twice before opening them up completely.

There was a dark haired man in a white coat standing next to him, his hand pressing on his wrist.

"Sir, please. Call Harvey. Harvey Specter. Please. Sir.", he paused, feeling an electric jolt coming from the back of his head down his spine. "God !", he yelled, squeezing his eyes shut.

"M. Ross, where exactly does it hurt ?", the man asked.

"My back. Oh my God, it hurts. Please, call Harvey. I need to see Harvey. Please Sir.", Mike pleaded as tears fell down his cheeks.

The man in the white coat said something to another female voice and after a couple of seconds, Mike felt better. Like when he smoked weed. His body suddenly felt weightless and he yawned.

"Mike ?", the first female voice asked.

He opened his eyes just a little bit. _Long blond hair, green eyes_. He just smiled and whispered Harvey's name again before drifting into a deep sleep.

 

Mike opened his eyes 10 hours later. The room was dark and he could still feel his heart pounding in his temples. He turned his heavy head to the right and saw him. Sleeping in a chair right next to the bed, his head tilted back, resting on the wall, his chest heaving slowly, his arms tightly folded around a jacket. There were 3 cups of coffee and a cellphone on the table beside him.

Mike painfully handed out his arm to reach his knee. He squeezed it gently, using every ounce of strength he possessed.

"Harvey.", he whispered, his throat dry.

Harvey mumbled something and shifted on his chair. He straightened up and opened his eyes.

A huge grin appeared on his face, making Mike's heart melt.

"Sleep well ?", Harvey asked, still smiling.

Mike nodded and smiled back, still unable to really speak or move. 

Harvey bent forward to grab his hand and he pressed soft kisses on his palm.

"How are you feeling ? Do you need anything ? Water ? Want me to call the nurse ?"

"Wa-, wa-, wa.ter.", Mike replied.

Harvey stood up and walked to the table. He was wearing a white shirt and black pants. His tie was loosened around his neck and the 3 first buttons of his shirt were undone. His hair was gell-less but not unruly, instead of being slicked back, it was sticking up in a sexy wave. Mike sighed at the view. Even after a work day and a nap in a hospital chair, Harvey looked perfect. 

"Here", he said, holding a glass of water with a straw and sticking the straw to Mike's parted lips. "Drink slowly, ok ?"

Mike nodded and took a couple of much needed sips.

"Ok, enough. You'll drink more later.", Harvey said, placing the glass on the bedside table. "Are you in pain ?", he asked.

"No.", Mike replied.

Harvey cocked his head and pursed his lips.

"Tell me.", he said.

"My head hurts but it's bandaged so... My back feels weird."

"I'm calling the nurse.", Harvey stated, pressing the call button.

What happened ? Why was his head wrapped in a bandage ? Mike tried to remember but he couldn't. He remembered waiting for Harvey the day of his birthday. He remembered Donna. He remembered Harvey's harsh words. What happened ?

A nurse entered the room, followed by that dark haired man in the white coat.

"M. Ross, I'm doctor Bennett. How are you feeling ?", the man asked.

Mike looked at Harvey with pleading eyes.

"It's ok, Mike.", he said, stepping forward and taking Mike's hand in his. "Tell the doctor how you're feeling."

Mike relaxed a little bit in the touch.

"My head hurts and, um, my back, there's something that hurts right there...", he said, lifting the covers and trying to roll over a bit to show the doctor. He winced. His legs wouldn't move. "My, my legs doctor. I can't feel them !", he shouted.

He turned his head to Harvey and he saw him swallow hard as he squeezed his hand.

"Ok, M. Ross, calm down, let me have a look.", the doctor said, lifting Mike's hospital gown above his knees.

He took out a pen from his front pocket and pressed it on Mike's left knee.

"Tell me when you feel something. Anything, ok ?", he ordered.

Doctor Bennett repeated the picking on Mike's thighs, calves and feet and moved to his right leg. 

He didn't feel anything. Nothing. He clenched his fists and jaw and exhaled through his nose noisily.

"Ok.", he said. "Walk me through it, doctor. What happened ? Can I see the chart, please ?"

"M. Ross, -"

"Mike, please."

"Hum, ok, Mike. You were in an accident a week ago, a drunk driver hit your car. You were under the influence of marijuana and were not wearing your seatbelt so when the car hit you, your head crashed into the windshield. You suffered numerous bruises, a broken nose and a skull fracture, we had to perform a surgery to relieve the pressure on your brain and repair the fracture."

Mike swallowed hard.

"A week ago... Can I see my chart, please ?", he asked, his eyes darkening.

"I'm afraid there isn't much useful information, -"

"The chart, please", Mike cut him, holding out his hand. "I'm a doctor, I know how to read those."

The doctor glanced at Harvey who just nodded so he gave Mike the chart.

A couple of minutes later, he lifted his head up from the clipboard.

"Ok, so you haven't ran any other test than the ones for my brain, right ?", he said.

"That's right.", doctor Bennett replied.

"And it didn't show any clot or pressure point that could explain the lack of feeling in my legs ?", he asked.

"We didn't see anything that could have caused, um, the paralysis but we were not looking for that type of information when we ran your scans. We were focused on the activity level in your brain. We'll have to check a lot of things now you're awake.", the doctor replied.

"You bet.", Mike muttered.

He pulled the sheets over his legs and crossed his arms on his chest.

"Harvey, get me a pen and paper, please.", he ordered. "Doctor Bennett, I'll set a list of exams and tests I need you to run as soon as possible. Come back in an hour."

The doctor shrugged and rolled his eyes. 

"Mike.", Harvey said softly when the doctor and nurse had left the room.

"Please, Harvey, get me a pen and paper.", Mike said, feeling hot tears streaming down his cheeks.

Harvey sighed and rummaged through his briefcase.

"A fucking week.", Mike whispered.

Harvey pulled out a fountain pen and a small notepad and sat back in the chair.

"Would you like to me to write it down for you ?", he asked.

"I'm not handicapped, Harvey. My hands are ok.", Mike snapped.

"I'm going to get a coffee.", Harvey replied, dropping the pen and paper on the bed and quickly leaving the room.

 _Shit_. He didn't mean to tell him off. He just needed to know what was going on with his legs. He scribbled down a dozen exams and scans names, careful to put them in the right order, each of them being a new try in case the one before didn't reveal anything.

When he was done, he grabbed the glass of water, got rid of the straw and downed it in one gulp.

He then proceeded to closely inspect his body. 

His hands were ok, just a few minor cuts. His neck felt stiff but he could bob his head without much trouble. He got rid of the hospital gown to inspect his chest. There were small cuts here and there, one stitched cut on his upper right bicep and one huge bruise on his ribs. He pressed it but it didn't hurt too much. _No broken rib._

He looked at his legs. He winced when he saw the tube coming out of his penis. If his legs had been able to carry him, it would have been gone by now. But no, he was fucking dead from the waist down and needed a fucking tube to empty his bladder for him. 

There was a knock on the door and Mike quickly put the covers back up to his chest.

"Come in.", he said.

Harvey entered, holding two cups of coffee. His hair was damp and his shirtsleeves were rolled up to his elbow.

"Coffee ?", he asked with a soft smile.

Mike smiled and nodded.

"I'm sorry I snapped at you... It's a lot to take in...", he said, patting the bed next to him.

Harvey sat down on the bed and put the two coffee cups on the bedside table.

"I know...", he said, stroking Mike's hand.

Harvey looked tired. Mike wanted to ask him if he came to visit him when he was in a coma, he wanted to ask him if he was here because he had asked for him or because he wanted to be here.

"You have to quit smoking pot.", Harvey said, looking deeply into Mike's eyes. "You scared the fuck out of me. What were you thinking ?"

Mike bit the inside of his mouth nervously and looked away.

"I was desperate. And sad.", he replied.

"It's not a good reason to smoke and drive under the influence. There is never a good reason for that."

Mike nodded, unable to look at Harvey in the eyes.

"What if I never get my legs back ?", he asked to Harvey and to himself, his grip on his thigh tightening.

"Don't think about it. They'll run the tests and they will find something. You've been hurt pretty badly, it could be temporary.", Harvey replied, squeezing his hand.

"What about Harris Industries ?"

"A M. Schwarz came to see me last week. He needed me to check the statement they wanted to release. Your, uh, he, your rep, he showed me your will, he said I needed to take over your position while you were, uh, in the hospital."

"Oh."

Mike suddenly realized what Harvey must have been through the past week with the legal papers and... the will. 

"I released my power to George Harris. I couldn't possibly know what to do.", Harvey continued. "I kept in touch with Trevor and Jenny, they've been very supportive. In fact, Jenny was there when you woke up."

The feminine voice. Now he remembered. 

"I think I remember."

There was a knock on the door.

"Come in.", Harvey called.

Doctor Bennett entered the room.

"So, M. Ross, is your list ready ?", he smirked.

Mike blushed and grabbed the paper.

"I'm sorry about earlier. I was in shock.", he said, handing the list to the doctor. "I hope you can schedule them tomorrow. I need to know."

Doctor Bennet reviewed the list and smiled.

"Great choice.", he joked. "I'll see what I can do."

"Thank you doctor."

"Have a great evening gentlemen.", he said, leaving the room. "Oh, I almost forgot. I can accommodate another bed if you ever want to sleep over M. Specter, just let Miranda know."

Harvey nodded politely and turned his head to Mike.

"Do you need me to get you a change of clothes ?", he asked with a mischievous smile. "Your gown is on the floor..."

Mike blushed. 

"Hum, I was inspecting the tragic results of my stupidest mistake.", he replied. "But yeah, I'd love for you to get me my grey house pants and my Harvard t-shirt."

"Ok.", Harvey whispered, pressing his lips to Mike’s knuckles. 

He stood up and put on his jacket.

"Harvey.", Mike said sheepishly. "Do you want to stay for the night ?"

Harvey smiled his stupidly sexy smile and raised an eyebrow.

"I'll get my stuff on the way. But I gotta warn you, I don't put out on the first date.", he joked.

Mike smiled and sighed.

"I don't see how anything could happen anyway.", he said, pointing at his legs.

And it hit him. If he didn't get his legs back, he knew that having and maintaining an erection, ejaculating and experiencing orgasms would soon be distant memories. 

Harvey looked sorry for joking about it so Mike faked a smile.

"Go. And be quick.", he said, trying to sound unaffected.

When Harvey was gone, Mike tried to roll over but he couldn’t and that was the last straw, he finally let it all out. He covered his face with his hands and cried.

He was scared. Scared that he would never be able to walk again. Scared that he would not be able to work like he used to. Who wouldn’t treat him differently in a wheelchair, right ? And Harvey. Where were they now ? Sure, he had been there when he woke up and he had been affectionate, but he did not kiss him. And they were supposed to have broken up anyway.

Mike felt his heart clench horribly in his chest and he let out a scream.

A nurse rushed into his room.

“Is everything ok, M. Ross ?”, she asked, checking his pulse.

Mike shook his head. He was weeping aloud, his fists knotted into hard balls on either side of his still body.

“Is there anything I can do for you ?”, the nurse asked gently.

Mike shook his head again and squeezed his eyes shut.

The nurse grabbed a tissue box from inside the bedside table and put it on the bed before exiting the room.

Harvey would be back soon and he didn’t want him to see him like this so he tried to calm down, blowing his nose and wiping the tears away.

 

Indeed, Harvey came back a half hour later, carrying an overnight bag and a brown paper bag.

“I saw what they were going to feed you when I left earlier so I told the nurse that I was going to bring you something.”, he said, dropping the bag on the floor and handing Mike the brown paper bag. “From your favorite burger place.”

Mike smiled as the familiar smell hit his nostrils.

“Thank you.”, he said, opening the bag and seizing a warm wrapped up burger.

Harvey settled on the chair by the bed. He had showered and changed. Mike could smell his verbena shampoo and deodorant. He was wearing black pants and a white shirt, which made Mike smile internally. God forbid anybody should see Harvey Specter wearing anything too casual. Well, except for Mike. He had seen Harvey in a lot of “casual” situations, and lots of them involved not wearing any clothes.

“It’s delicious.”, he said, chewing earnestly on his cheeseburger.

“When you’re done, we’re getting you changed, ok ?”, Harvey said, taking out the well ironed clothes from Mike’s duffle bag. “I fed your cat. It still doesn’t like me, you know ?”

“It’s a “he”, not a “it”. And Nicholas loves you. How could he not ?”, Mike replied with a fond smile.

Harvey rolled his eyes.

 

10 silent minutes later, Harvey stood up to put the remaining of Mike’s dinner in the trash.

Mike grabbed his Harvard t-shirt and put it on effortlessly. Putting on the pants was going to require more agility.

Harvey grabbed the pants with a knowing look.

“Let me help you.”, he said softly.

“I can do it, Harvey. I have to do it on my own.”, Mike said, feeling embarrassed.

“You don’t have to do it on your own. You will eventually, _if_ your legs can’t be fixed,”, Harvey said, insisting on the “if”. “but you don’t have to push yourself tonight.”

Mike took a deep breath.

“I want to do it, Harvey. I need to.”

Harvey sighed and handed the pants to Mike.

“Can you, uh,… ?”, Mike stuttered.

Harvey winked.

“I’ll be right outside if you need me.”, he said, leaving the room.

Mike took another deep breath and pulled down the sheets. He tried to sit up but he could only lift his chest and prop himself on his elbow, which was not going to help much, even less with the radiating pain in his back.

He let out a frustrated growl as tears started to pool in his already puffed eyes.

He would not ask Harvey. He couldn’t ask Harvey. He didn’t want him to see him like this, naked from the waist down, with a catheter coming out of his cock.

He pressed the call button.

A nurse arrived shortly after, followed by an annoyed looking Harvey.

“Need anything ?”, the nurse asked.

“Please, Harvey.”, Mike pleaded.

“He needs help to put on his pants, Miranda. And apparently he wants you to help him, not me.”, Harvey sneered, answering the nurse’s question.

Mike blushed and sighed.

“He needs time to adjust, Harvey, and maybe he doesn’t want you to see him struggle.”, Miranda whispered to Harvey, but Mike heard it.

“Fine.”, Harvey shrugged and left the room.

“You will need to let him in.”, the nurse said, pulling the pants up Mike’s legs. “He was there every morning and every evening to check on you while you were out, telling you about his days and sometimes crying… He wants to be there for you.”

Mike nodded. Harvey had visited him everyday ?

“All set, pretty boy. Now, get some rest, ok ? Is Harvey staying over ? Do you need another bed ?”

“He is.”, Mike replied. “But, um…”

Miranda smiled.

“The bed is big enough for two.”, she winked. “Have a great night.”

“Thank you.”

Miranda left, leaving the door open for Harvey.

“Are you tired ?”, Harvey asked, sitting on the edge of the bed.

“Yeah.”, Mike replied. “I thought we could both sleep in the bed, it’s big, right ?”

Harvey smiled softly and nodded.

“You will need to give me space, though, you’re right in the middle of it.”, Harvey said, grabbing Mike’s waist and moving him to the left.

Harvey walked to the bathroom and came back with a toothbrush and a small bucket.

“Brush your teeth.”, he ordered.

Mike complied as he watched Harvey change from his pants and shirt to his equally elegant pj’s.

 

Ten minutes later, Harvey was back from the bathroom and he climbed on the bed next to Mike. He switched off the lights and settled on his side, wrapping an arm around Mike’s chest and burying his head in his neck.

“Goodnight.”, he said.

Mike could feel his breath on his skin and it made him shiver.

“Harvey.”, he said.

“Hum.”

“I want to kiss you.”

The dark gave him confidence. He could ask for a kiss and he would not see Harvey’s face if he rejected him.

Harvey took Mike’s chin in his hand and turned his head to the side.

Mike felt warm soft lips crashing on his parted lips and he stuck out his tongue to lick at them. He heard Harvey moan softly and felt his tongue meeting his. They kissed for a minute then Harvey sighed and kissed his nose.

“Get some sleep.”, he whispered.

Mike closed his eyes, a contemptuous smile forming on his lips.

 


	16. The Surgery

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading and commenting.  
> This chapter has a lot of medical references. I am not a doctor so all of it could basically be crap, please bear with me :)

It took 5 days for doctor Bennett to comply with all of Mike’s examination requests.

The MRI revealed a spinal cord injury, a fusion between T11 and T12 causing the paralysis. Mike asked Doctor Bennett to be honest and blunt, told him he didn’t want the sugarcoated version. So he told Mike that his chances of ever walking again were very slim, that they could try a surgery to ease the compression and hope for some kind of recovery. But he also told him that if the surgery ever worked, he would need months, if not years, of physiotherapy. The MRI also showed that his skull fracture was healing nicely and that it wouldn’t need another surgery or any other kind of further treatment.

Mike kept his eyes fixed on the images on the computer while the doctor revealed his analyses and prognosis. Harvey was in the room with him but Mike refused to take his hand or even look at him.

He was disappointed. He really believed the different scans would show nothing, which could have meant that the paralysis was temporary.

“Schedule the surgery.”, Mike said, breaking the silence in the doctor’s office.

“Are you sure ?”, doctor Bennett asked. “It means another month at the hospital and there really are not guarantees of results.”

“I want the surgery.”, Mike repeated through greeted teeth.

“Alright.”, the doctor replied, typing something on his keyboard.

“I’m going back to my room now.”, Mike said, his hands gripping the wheels of his wheelchair.

Harvey stood up and grabbed the handles.

“No.”, Mike snapped. “I’ll do it.”

He managed to turn the wheelchair around and roll to the door. He winced when he leaned forward to reach for the doorknob but he opened the door and got out of the room.

Once in the corridor, he exhaled loudly.

Harvey squatted down next to the wheelchair and placed a hand on his knee.

“You okay ?”, he asked softly.

Mike closed his eyes and nodded. He put his hand on Harvey’s.

“You don’t have to be here, Harvey.”, Mike said, cupping Harvey’s face with his other hand. “I’m going to be useless for another month and then, if the surgery does any good to the compression in my lower back, God knows how many more months it will take for me to recover.”

Harvey sighed and began stroking Mike’s knee.

“I don’t want to be anywhere else, Mike.”, he said.

Mike studied Harvey’s face for a moment. His expression was full of compassion and honesty. He really wasn’t going to go anywhere. It made his heart clench. He couldn’t ask Harvey to wait for him, he needed to let him go. Harvey deserved better. He deserved a capable man who could take care of himself.

He straightened up.

“I want to be alone, now.”, he said, his thumb rubbing Harvey’s cheek lightly.

“Let me take you to your room and then I’ll go.”, Harvey said, standing back up.

 

Harvey helped him back to his room and back in his bed.

“Harvey.”, Mike said as Harvey was grabbing his coat and briefcase. “I need some time. Please don’t come visit me tomorrow, I’ll call you.”

Harvey pressed his lips together in disappointment and nodded.

“Ok. Call me.”, he said, kissing him softly.

The door closed and Mike exhaled heavily.

He grabbed his phone and made a couple of calls. His daily call to George to check on the company. A quick call to Trevor to tell him about the results and the upcoming surgery. He then grabbed his iPad and started typing an email.

> “Harvey.
> 
> I need time. More than just a day. You’ve been the best since the accident but I see how it’s consuming you, spending all your nights here, cancelling important meetings to be here for my scans… I don’t want to put you through more of this.
> 
> Please, don’t come visit me again. Live your life, meet new people. You have so much to look forward to, so much more than spending your life helping your partner shower or go to the restrooms. I cannot put you through this.
> 
> I’m sorry I could not say it to your face but it’s too hard. I’m going to miss you like crazy and I love you with all my heart but I don’t want to waste your time. You deserve better.
> 
> Mike.”

 

He pressed “Send” and angrily dropped his iPad on the bedside table.

He called the nurse, Miranda, and told her to not let Harvey in if he came back. She frowned but agreed, it was his prerogative after all.

 

His phone rang later in the afternoon.  _Harvey_.

Mike didn’t pick up but he listened to the voicemail.

“Mike. What the hell ? Call me.”

He sounded angry and hurt. It made Mike’s heart break into a million pieces but he knew it was for the best. Since Harvey would never have left him because he felt guilty and because he loved him, he needed to let him go.

He heard people screaming in the corridor.

“I need to see him, Miranda !”.  _Harvey_.

“He asked me to not let you in, I’m sorry Harvey.”

“I don’t fucking care ! He’s out of his mind because he’s scared. I need to speak to him !”

“I’m sorry, Harvey, I can’t let you in. And if you don’t back off, I’m gonna have to call security.”

“Mike ! Mike please !”

“Harvey, I’m going to call security. You need to leave. It’s a hospital and our patients need peace.”

“Mike….”

The last “Mike” was a stifled cry and it made Mike burst into tears.

An hour later, he was still inconsolable so doctor Bennett injected a tranquilizing substance into his IV and Mike drifted into sleep until the next morning.

 

 

The surgery was scheduled for the next Wednesday.

Harvey had try to call Mike 10 times a day since he had sent the email and he had come to see him everyday, each time unsuccessfully. He had sent a hundred emails but Mike had deleted them all without reading them.

Trevor and Jenny had visited. They had brought him chocolate and books and Trevor had asked him if he still wanted to sell his loft because someone was interested. Mike had confirmed the sale and asked them to help him find a smaller pad. Nicholas was staying with them now.

He had received numerous phone calls and texts from his friends.

Tom came to visit him that day.

“Hey !”, he cheered when he entered the room. “How are you ?”

“I’m fine. Surgery’s coming, I’m getting a little impatient. And I’m bored as hell, I’m trying to figure out a way to spend my recovery time somewhere else. I can’t see myself spending another month here.”, Mike replied, closing the book he was reading.

“I bet the days must seem long…”, Tom sighed compassionately. “I brought the magazines you asked for.”, he said, handing a stack of various publications to Mike. “And I brought you some more books.”

“Thank you very much.”, Mike replied, already flicking through the pages of Forbes Magazine.

Tom cleared his throat.

“I met with Harvey yesterday.”, he said, automatically getting Mike’s attention. “He just closed a marketing deal for me. He told me some interesting stuff too.”

Mike put the magazine down.

“Like what ?”

“Like the fact that you told him you never wanted to see him again, that he deserved better, blabla, that kind of bullshit.”

“It’s not bullshit, Tom. I may never walk again. And I don’t need a nurse boyfriend ; I cannot put him through this. Plus, we’ll never be able to have sex, I mean  _I_  will never be able to have sex… so what’s the point ? He does deserve better than a handicapped frigid boyfriend, don’t you think ?”, Mike said defensively.

“You know what I think ? I think you’re ashamed and that it’s not him you’re protecting, it’s you. You’re ashamed and you’re afraid.”

Mike scoffed.

“That’s ridiculous ! Afraid of what anyway ?”

“Afraid that he might leave you when it gets too tough or if he realizes he needs more than what you can give him. Afraid to surrender control, to accept a helping hand.”, Tom replied in an equally ironical tone. “You’re afraid.”

Mike pursed his lips and looked away.

“The only thing I’m afraid of is the surgery.”, he snapped.

“Whatever helps you sleep at night, Mike. I still think what you did was a dick move. You love him, he’s crazy about you and you’re throwing it away because you’re ashamed and afraid. Dick move.”, Tom said, standing up. “And I’m actually surprised, Ross, cause you’ve been through a lot and I’ve never seen you give up on anything.”

He walked to the door and opened it.

“Think about it, Mike.”, he said in a stern voice and left.

Mike shoot a look at the closing door and closed his eyes.

His iPad clicked, an indication that he just got a new email.

He grabbed it. _Harvey again_. The object field read "Please, don't trash it. Read it first.". Of course Harvey knew he trashed his emails without reading them.

He opened it.

> "Mike, 
> 
> I know you don't want to talk to me or see me but I need you to know how I feel. I miss you. And I want to be there for you. 
> 
> Love you,
> 
> Harvey"

There was a link to a YouTube video. He pressed his index finger on it and the YouTube app opened. It started playing [Save Me](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iw3izcZd9zU) by Queen. Mike didn't know the song so he listened closely to the [lyrics](http://www.metrolyrics.com/save-me-lyrics-queen.html). 

"It started off so well

They said we made the perfect pair

Clothed myself in your glory and your love

How I loved you

How I cried

(...)

Save me, save me, save me

I'm naked and I'm far from home

The slate will soon be clear

I'll erase the memories

To sart again with somebody new

Was it all wasted ?

All that love ?

I hang my head and I advertise

A soul for sale or rent

(...)

Each night I cry

I still believe the lie

I'll love you till I die"

When the song was over, Mike was sobbing, his nose running and tears covering his cheeks.

He hated to know Harvey felt that way. He hated what he was putting him through but he still believed it was for the better. Harvey would hurt for a couple of months tops then forget about him and go back to fucking strangers in planes. Way better than having to push Mike in a wheelchair for life and having to renovate his condo to accomodate to his new eye level. 

He kept thinking of all the things Harvey would have to do for him now he was handicapped because that confirmed his decision. 

He did not reply to Harvey and quickly trashed the email.

 

Wednesday came and Mike was finishing a umpteenth book when Miranda knocked and came in his room.

"Ready pretty boy ?", she asked with a smile. 

Mike set the book aside and nodded.

"Harvey came to see you early this morning. I mean, he came to see me. He asked me if he could see you, though. I wonder when he'll stop trying. Anyway, he asked me to wish you good luck for the surgery. I had to tell him you removed him as your next of kin and that I was not allowed to update him anymore...", she said with a sad smile.

Mike sighed and let Miranda prep him for the surgery.

"Alright, let's go.", she eventually said, pushing Mike's bed outside of the room.

 

The surgery went well. Mike was back in his room 5 hours later, a tight corset covering the second half of his torso. 

He woke up later in the day. When he opened his eyes, he saw Jenny knitting on the bed next to him.

"Hey.", she said softly when she noticed that he was awake. "Don't try to move, they strapped you in a spinal brace."

Mike tried to move his legs, he still didn't feel anything. He knew he wasn't supposed to, it was way too soon, but he still wanted to try.

"How did it go ?", he asked, his voice raspy.

"Doctor Bennett said it went really well. Again, he says he cannot garantee any kind of improvement but he managed to do what he wanted to do, which I did not really understand, but he looked satisfied. He's coming to check on you later, you can ask him then.", she replied. "Need anything ? Water ?"

Mike nodded and once again, he took a couple of sips from a straw. That's how being handicapped felt, not being able to do anything without help. 

"Trevor is coming in later. I called Tom, Benjamin, Rachel and Gregory to let them know that it went well.", Jenny said, folding her knitting stuff into a cute pink bag. "Harvey called me."

Mike narrowed his eyes and opened his mouth to speak but he was cut.

"I told him that I couldn't tell him anything. He sounded so sad...", she sighed. "I told him I'd ask you if you were ok with me telling him about your surgery."

"I'd rather not, Jenny.", Mike replied.

"It's your choice and I'll respect it. But Trevor and I think you should talk to him. It's not fair to cut him out like that."

"I'm not cutting him, I broke up with him. And what really wouldn't be fair is him having to put up with a handicapped boyfriend for the rest of his life.", he snapped.

"What if he wants to, Mike ? Have you thought about it ? What would you do if the same thing happened to him ?"

"It didn't and it won't."

"You don't know that. Tell me, what would you do if you were in his shoes ?"

Mike thought about it for a minute. He imagined Harvey lying in this bed, unable to do anything by himself and it made him wince. He would want to help him, to be there for him. He'd never leave his side and would want to cater to his every needs. He'd give his life for Harvey.

"I... I'd be devastated.", he replied, feeling his heart tighten in his chest.

"He is. And he hurts."

"I know..."

Jenny raised her eyebrows and pursed her lips as if to say "See ?".

"Hand me my phone, please.", he asked.

He typed a text to Harvey.

"Surgery went well. Still alive. Thanx for stopping by this morning."

Jenny smiled.

"I'm gonna have to leave but Trevor should be here soon. Get some rest, ok ?", she said, putting on her coat.

"Thank you, Jenny.", Mike said.

"No problem little brother. I'll see you tomorrow.", she replied, leaving the room.

His phone blipped.

"Great. Thank you so much for telling me. Haven't been able to do any work today, too anxious. Get some rest. Text or call anytime. Love you."

Mike read the text again and closed his eyes. 

"I love you too.", he whispered. "So much."

He closed his eyes and fell asleep instantly.

 

Mike opened his eyes in a dark room. He instinctively reached for his phone to check the time. 2 AM. Several texts had arrived while he was recuperating. There was one from Trevor.

"Came to see you but you apparently had more important business to run :) I'll stop by tomorrow. Take care."

Mike smiled. 

There was one from Tom saying "Get well soon motherfucker." and one from Rachel whishing him a quick recovery. 

He was almost disappointed that Harvey had not texted him, so he did.

"Sleeping ?"

A reply came up almost instantly.

"Working."

"On what ? It's 2 AM !"

"I'm not tired, Mum."

"You mean Helena, right ?"

"Why are you not sleeping ?"

"Just woke up."

"How are you feeling ?"

"Rested. I'm not in pain but I'm starving."

"Call the nurse."

"Yes sir."

He called the nurse.

A petite blonde woman entered the room and switched on the lights. Mike blinked.

"Do you need anything, Sir ?", she asked.

"I'm sorry to bother you, I know it's the middle of the night but I just woke up and I'm starving.", he replied apologetically.

She smiled.

"No trouble, Sir. I'll get you something to eat."

She checked his pulse and his IV, updated his chart and left the room.

"Food is coming. You should go to bed." he texted.

"No tired."

Mike rolled his eyes.

"I have an appointment with doctor Bennett to check on my spine and legs tomorrow morning."

"What time ?"

Of course, Harvey had guessed.

"10 AM."

"I'll be there."

"Thank you.", he sent and immediately sent another text saying "And sorry."

"Don't."

The nurse knocked and entered the room, holding a tray with what looked like a yummy sandwich and a piece of cake.

"Food's here. Go to bed."

"Bon appetit. Love you."

"Love you too."

Mike thanked the nurse and litteraly devored his food. 

When he was done, he discarded the tray and opened a new book. The night was going to be long since he had slept for the better part of the day.

 

A hand on his shoulder woke him up later that day.

“Morning, pretty boy ! Doctor Bennett will be here soon, you need to wake up.”

Mike opened his eyes.

Miranda was reading his chart and updating it.

“Oh, and Harvey’s here. He’s waiting outside. He told me you agreed to let him in today, is that true ? He showed me the text messages but you never know what’s possible to do with these new devices, right ?”, she said while adjusting a sphygmometer around his bicep to check his blood pressure.

“Thank you Miranda. But I asked him to be there.”, Mike replied sheepishly.

Miranda smiled.

“Make up your mind once and for all, cutie.”, she laughed.

She left the room and came back a minute later, followed by Harvey.

He looked impeccable with his dark blue three-piece suit and his styled hair. Mike could smell his cologne as he approached the bed with a tentative smile.

“Hey.”, he said.

“Thank you for coming.”, Mike replied looking down.

Harvey put his coat and briefcase down on the chair and sat down on the edge of the bed.

“How are you ?”, he asked.

“Didn’t sleep much last night…”

Harvey smiled and cupped his chin, tilting his face upward for a soft kiss.

“Gentlemen.”, doctor Bennett said, entering the room. “M. Specter, nice to see you.”

“Hello doctor.”, Harvey said, standing up to shake his hand.

“How are you feeling, Mike ?”

“Good.”

“Any pain ?”

“No. I feel something in my back, but it’s not hurting.”

“Good. Let me have a look.”, the doctor said, lifting the covers. “Miranda, please, help me roll him on his side.”

Miranda and doctor Bennett carefully took hold of Mike’s arm and leg to lift him up.

“It shouldn’t hurt, Mike, but I need you to tell me if you feel any pain, ok ?”

“Ok.”

Mike held out his free arm and Harvey squatted down next to the bed and grabbed his hand.

He felt the doctor unbuckle the corset and he exhaled noisily.

“Everything ok, Mike ?”

“Yes.”

He felt the doctor’s fingers inspecting the scar and pressing around it.

“It’s already healing well. There isn’t any swelling.”, he said, almost to himself, nodding in the process.

“Ouch !”, Mike exclaimed when he felt a finger pressing on his sacrum.

“You felt it ?”, the doctor asked.

“Yes, it hurts !”, Mike winced.

“Is this good news, doctor ?”, Harvey asked, brushing his thumb over Mike’s hand.

“It’s very good news, indeed.”, he replied, buckling the corset tightly. “It’s impressive. I will need to run more tests in a few days to confirm it but it looks like the surgery did work, at least to some extent.”

A huge grin lit up Harvey’s face and he squeezed Mike’s hand.

“Ok, Mike, I’m going to schedule you for a couple of scans on Friday. Until then, I need you to keep track of everything that you feel or don’t feel from the scar down, alright ?”

Mike nodded as Miranda and doctor Bennett rolled him on his back.

Miranda winked at Harvey and left the room.

“I’ll see you on Friday, Mike. If anything major happens, have a nurse call me.”, the doctor said, leaving the room.

Harvey sat back down on the bed.

“So ?”, he asked, giving Mike a fond look.

“I didn’t expect that…”, Mike replied, still stunned by the promising examination.

“I’m really happy for you Mike.”, Harvey said. “I have a deposition at 11, then I’m heading straight to court. I’ll see you tonight ?”

“Ok. Um, will you stay the night ?”, Mike asked, looking down.

“I’d love to.”, Harvey replied, leaning forward to kiss him. “Get some rest and brush your teeth.”, he laughed.

Mike blushed and gave a gentle slap on his thigh.

“Let’s keep this to ourselves for now, ok ? I don’t want to disappoint my friends.”, he said, as Harvey was walking through the door.

Harvey winked and left.

In a matter of minutes, Mike’s future had gone from dark to bright.

He smiled and closed his eyes, tension fleeing his body as he slowly fell asleep.


	17. The Recovery

A month and a half had passed.

Mike was recovering from his back surgery at the Shepherd Center in Atlanta. He had moved there two weeks after his surgery. It was said to be the best physical rehabilitation center in the country.

Mike could still not walk but he could feel his feet and doctor Bennett had great confidence in his recuperation. He believed that the more Mike would solicit his legs the more likely he would be able to walk again.

The physiotherapy was intense and though he could already feel some improvement, Mike often felt frustrated. He had to live with a catheter to pee into a hose down a collection bag and was on a strict diet because he didn't want to wear diapers and needed to schedule his daily defecating sessions in order to avoid any accident. He still couldn’t do almost anything on his own and he was away from home, away from work, away from Harvey.

In between grueling sessions, he would read books, watch TV, do some work and call his friends, but he was bored.

He had tried to talk George into doing an interview to raise awareness about the dangers of drugs, but George had refused, saying it would be bad press for the company if their CEO admitted to driving under the influence and doing recreational drug use. 

Mike had understood but he felt that he had to do something. The specialized press had talked about the accident but for all they knew, a drunk driver speeding in the wrong side of the road had caused it. Mike was a victim but he did not entirely feel like one.

He had received praised from every big CEO in the world, even from Barack Obama and he felt like a fraud.

That did not help with the general feeling of frustration.

 

Harvey came to visit him every weekend, the center providing housing for family living outside Atlanta. But he had physiotherapy sessions on the weekends too and only got to spend 5 to 6 hours each day with him. Mike refused to go out for dinner or lunch so they stayed in his room and sometimes went for a stroll in the facility’s park.

They were not allowed to sleep in the same room and Mike was starting to long for physical contact. Harvey treated him like a broken doll and barely touched him if he did not need to. Sure, he kissed him and held his hand, but they used to have such a symbiotic relationship that Mike was beginning to wonder if Harvey would ever want to touch him again.

 

On that chilly November Friday, Harvey arrived at the center around 6 pm. Visitations were allowed until 8 but Mike had managed to extend it to 9 because Harvey could never be here earlier.

“Hey.”, he said with a smile, entering Mike’s room.

He had come straight from work, as usual, and had discarded his tie. His suit was wrinkled and he looked a little disheveled but that look suited him like every look did and Mike’s tension eased a bit when he saw his lover.

He smiled back and held out his arms. Harvey dropped his bag and briefcase and sat down on the bed next to Mike, pulling him into a tight hug.

“I’ve missed you…”, he whispered in his ear. “Happy birthday.”

Mike pulled out of the hug and frowned. Was it his birthday ? He had lost track of time and everyday felt the same at the center.

“What ? Isn’t November 13th your birthday ?”, Harvey asked.

“Yes, it is. I just had not realized what day we were.”

Harvey pressed a soft kiss on his lips, leaving Mike wanting more but he smiled to hide his disappointment.

“I brought you something.”, Harvey said, standing back up to grab something from his bag.

He came back holding a small light blue square box from Tiffany’s, leaving nothing to the imagination. Mike held his breath and opened it.

Inside was a 18k white gold band ring with a square diamond in the middle of it.

He exhaled and looked up at Harvey.

“I know this is probably not the right time to ask you this but I couldn’t wait… Will you marry me ?”, the older man asked with a hopeful smile.

Mike’s jaw dropped to the floor. His mouth suddenly went dry and his heart was beating so fast he could barely breathe.

“Is that a no ?”, Harvey asked anxiously, taking Mike’s hand in his and stroking it gently.

“I, uh. I’m sorry Harvey, I wasn’t expecting… that.”, he replied, gently shaking the box in his hand.

Harvey’s face went blank.

“No, don’t be sorry. I knew it wasn’t the right time to propose. It’s ok. It’s still too soon I get it. You have to focus on your recovery and I shouldn’t ask you to make such a decision right now. I just thought that,-“

Mike taking his face in his hands and kissing him cut him.

“Yes, Hunky.”, he whispered against his lips. “Yes, I want to marry you.”

Harvey smiled and deepened the kiss, exploring his soon to be husband’s mouth with his eager tongue.

When they broke the kiss to catch their breath, Mike smiled.

“Aren’t you supposed to put the ring on my finger when I say yes ?”, he asked teasingly, handing out the box to Harvey.

Harvey rolled his eyes and put the band on Mike’s ring finger.

“I want you to look at this ring during your sessions. I want you to remember how much I love you and I hope it gives you strength and patience.”, Harvey said, taking both of Mike’s hands in his. “I know this is hard and that you’re frustrated. But you’re strong baby, stronger than you think. You can do it. You need to stay focused and be patient.”

Mike smiled fondly. He loved Harvey so much. It had not even been 6 months and their relationship was anything but conventional but he felt deeply connected to the man and marrying him only seemed obvious.

“Best birthday ever.”, he whispered, pulling Harvey into another kiss.

“I have gifts from Donna and one from Trevor and Jenny.”, the older man said, cupping Mike’s chin. “I was thinking that we could have dinner somewhere else for once…”

He smiled tentatively.

“I don’t know, Harvey…”, Mike replied, looking down.

“What are you afraid of ?”, Harvey asked.

“I don’t know… I… I don’t want people to see me in a wheelchair…”

“Why do you care about people you don’t know ?”

“I’m ashamed, Harvey.”, Mike replied sharply. “Try to put yourself in my position. Would you like to go out with your perfectly handsome and sexy boyfriend pushing you in a wheelchair ?”

Harvey rolled his eyes.

“You’re perfectly handsome and sexy too, you know ?”

“Then why don’t you touch me ?”, Mike scoffed.

Harvey looked taken aback by the sudden mood swing.

“Where is this coming from ?”, he asked, standing back up and folding his arms across his chest.

“I don’t know, Harvey ! You’re the one refusing to touch me. You think I’m disgusting ?”, Mike snapped.

“What ?”, Harvey exclaimed. “Why on earth would you think that, Mike ? I just asked you to marry me for God’s sake !”

Mike chewed on the inside of his mouth as tears starting to pool in his eyes.

“Mike, talk to me.”, Harvey ordered, cupping Mike’s chin to force him to look at him.

“I’ve said what I had to say.”, he sniffed.

“Ok, so I ask you to marry me, then I offer to go out to celebrate and all you  _have to say_  is that I refuse to touch you ?”, Harvey summed up, putting his hands on his hips.

Mike looked at him defiantly.

“How long has it been, Harvey ? How long ?”

“I’m not counting, Mike.”

“Well, I am. And it’s been exactly 3 months today. The last time you put your hands on me was the morning of your Mum’s wedding 3 months ago.”

“It’s not true, Mike. We slept in the same bed at the hospital for weeks !”

“Sure, we slept in the same bed. Might as well have slept in another room !”, he sneered. “You barely kissed me !”

Harvey rolled his eyes and ran both hands in his hair in exasperation.

“You were fucking injured, Mike ! What was I supposed to do ? Fuck you into the mattress with your corset on and knowing that you were in pain ?”, he shouted.

“That’s it. You just admitted it. You don’t want to touch me anymore because I’m paralyzed.”, Mike stated.

“I,- what ? No, that’s not what I said ! Don’t put words in my mouth ! I never said that !”

Mike smirked.

“Yeah but you didn’t deny it.”, he replied.

Harvey took a deep breath and clenched his fists.

“That’s not fair.”, he whispered.

He walked to the other side of the room and watched the raindrops crash on the window for a minute.

“I can never win with you.”, he said. “You’re thinking for me, putting words into my mouth and having a fucking monologue here.”

“Which I wouldn’t be having if you were answering my questions honestly.”, Mike replied.

Harvey snorted and turned his head to face Mike, a nervous smile on his lips.

“What do you want, Mike ? Do you want to keep fighting ? Is that what you want to do ? To spend your birthday evening fighting ? Tell me, cause I think I’m missing the point here.”, he asked with a stern voice.

Mike pursed his lips. He hated to fight with Harvey and he knew he had started it but he needed Harvey to want him. And somehow, the ring on his finger wasn’t enough proof of it.

“That’s not what I want.”, he muttered.

“Good.”, Harvey said. “So, could you forget about what people will think of you and accept my invitation so we can have a nice dinner outside of this place for once ?”

Mike sighed and nodded.

"Good. I made a reservation at 8."

"You made a reservation ? What if had said no ?"

"Technically you did. And I expected you to, but I was confident that I could convince you."

Mike sighed again.

"Is that a fancy place ? Cause I don't have anything fancy to wear."

"Yes you do.", Harvey replied, leaving the room and reappearing a minute later holding two garments bags.

"You have everything planned I see.", Mike said.

"That's usually what you do when you propose, you know ?", Harvey deadpanned. "Now, let's get you dressed."

"I can undress by myself now. Huge progress.", Mike muttered.

"Mike.", Harvey threatened.

Mike huffed and began undressing, suddenly feeling very shy under Harvey's gaze.

When he was down to his boxer briefs, he blushed, looking down at the empty collection bag strapped to his thigh. He asked Harvey for his shirt and quickly put it on and buttonned it up. 

Harvey didn't say a thing and helped him put on his pants.

"I can pull the zipper up. Thank you.", Mike said, with a shy smile. "I'm gonna try to put the socks on, can you hand them over please ?"

He took a deep breath and bent forward as far as he could to grab his right foot, sticking out his tongue in concentration.

He managed to put the first sock on and marked a quick pause to breathe before putting on the second one.

When he was done, he lifted his head. Harvey was smiling at him.

"What ?", he frowned.

"You're cute. I'm proud of you.", Harvey replied, pressing a kiss at the crown of his hair.

"Yeah...", Mike replied, unimpressed with himself. "Can you hand me my shoes please ?"

Harvey complied as he changed into a fresh suit.

"All set ?", he asked when he was dressed.

"Yes.", Mike replied.

Harvey helped him get in the wheelchair, something he had done a hundred times since the accident, and pushed him outside of the room, down the corridor, to the parking lot.

Harvey had rented a car. He always did when visiting Mike, always hoping that the young man would want to wander outside of the center.

He helped Mike sit on the passenger seat and folded the wheelchair before putting it in the trunk.

 

They arrived at Restaurant Eugene, one of Atlanta's finest restaurant, a half hour later.

It took them 10 more minutes to get inside and Mike heaved a sigh when they were finally seated at their table.

"See ? Wasn't that bad ?", Harvey tentatively asked.

Mike shrugged in response, earning an eye-roll.

They ordered their food and wine and waited while sipping on wine and discussing a difficult case Harvey was currently dealing with. 

Their food arrived and Mike got a call from George which he tried to make short.

"It's so hard to be away from the office.", Mike said when he hung up.

"I know... But you have to be patient. I'm sure you'll be back there soon.", Harvey replied.

"Speaking of which, what are we going to do then ?"

"What do you mean ?"

"When I can walk and go back to work.", Mike replied, emptying his second glass. "I still need to move to Irving."

"I know.", Harvey replied, wiping the corner his mouth with his napking. "I asked you to marry me, Mike. I'll move with you."

Mike studied his face for a moment. He was willing to leave New-York ?

"Are you sure ?", Mike asked, stunned by Harvey's determined look. "I mean, last time we talked about it, it ended badly..."

Harvey took his hand.

"A lot has happened since the last time we talked about it, Mike.", he said, looking deep into Mike's eyes and rubbing his thumb over his ring. "I don't want to lose you. I love you and I want to spend my life with you. If that means moving to Texas, then I'll move to Texas."

Mike smiled and squeezed his hand.

"Excuse me, Sir."

Mike turned around. A man was standing behind him.

"Yes ?"

"Are you Michael Ross ?", the man asked.

"Yes, and you are ?"

"I'm Tim Robinson, one of your employees. I work in your Atlanta offices", he said, offering his hand. "It's such an honor to meet you."

Mike smiled as he shook his hand.

"Nice to meet you too M. Robinson.", he said. "My fiancé, Harvey Specter.", he added, pointing at Harvey with his chin.

Harvey and M. Robinson shook hands. _Fiancé_. It sounded good.

"I don't want to disturb you any longer, I just thought I'd stop by and introduce myself, it's not often that you get to meet the big boss.", the man smiled.

"Nice meeting you.", Mike said as the man was walking away.

"Living legend.", Harvey laughed. "So I'm your fiancé ?", he added, taking Mike's hand in his.

"Aren't you ?"

"Yes, I am.", Harvey replied, kissing his hand. "I liked how it sounded.", he smiled.

"Me too. I'm actually glad he stopped by, I was dying to say it.", Mike said with a smile.

 

They spent another hour at the restaurant, talking and laughing, it almost felt like nothing had happened and Mike felt normal again. Human again.

He was a bit tipsy when they left, it had been months since he had a drink.

Harvey helped him back into the car and then out of the car and into his room.

Mike rolled to the bathroom to brush his teeth. 

Harvey had told the nurses about the proposal and asked if he could stay a little longer, which they had agreed to.

When he came out of the bathroom, Mike was in his underwear. He had gotten rid of the catheter and collection bag, which had hurt like hell because he wasn't supposed to do it himself. But he had seen the nurses do it and he knew how it worked. He would have to ask a nurse to put it back on when Harvey would leave. He didn't want to think about it. He remembered how it felt the first time they had to change it and he winced.

"Help me go to bed and lie down with me for a while, ok ?", he asked.

Harvey nodded and carried him onto the bed.

Mike did not let him settle next to him properly, he grabbed his face and pulled him into a passionate kiss. Harvey responded by wrapping his arms around him and deepening the kiss.

"Make love to me.", Mike whispered against his lips.

Harvey pulled him closer.

"I can't, Mike. I'd love to but I can't."

Mike unzipped Harvey's pants and slid a hand inside, cupping his half hard cock.

"Yes you can.", he whispered.

Harvey moaned softly and grabbed Mike's wrist to stop him.

"I can't do that. You won't feel anything and I will feel like I'm raping you."

"What ? That's the lamest excuse I've ever heard !", Mike exclaimed, brushing his hand on Harvey's underwear. "I asked you, it's not rape !"

He felt Harvey's cock hardening under his touch. 

"Please, Harvey...", he pleaded, licking at Harvey's lips. "I need you to want me. I need to feel you close to me."

Harvey closed his eyes and moved to straddle Mike's thighs. He bit at his lower lip then pushed his tongue inside of Mike's hot mouth.

Mike moaned into the kiss and cupped Harvey's ass.

"Mike...", he whispered, pressing kissed along his jaw.

"Harvey, I need you inside me. Please."

Harvey started rubbing his now fully hard cock against Mike's thigh. Mike could not feel it but he could feel the way Harvey's body was moving under his hands.

"You're hard.", Harvey chuckled in his ear.

Mike froze and blushed.

"I am ?"

"Yes.", Harvey replied and Mike saw him slide a hand between their bodies.

He moved up onto his elbows to take a look. He watched Harvey's hand gently stroke him. He couldn't feel anything and it was really frustrating, but it felt good to spend such an intimate moment with Harvey.

Harvey kissed his neck while still stroking him and rubbing against him. Kissing his chest, he moved toward one of his nipples and teased it with his teeth.

"Harvey...", Mike moaned.

He repeated the process with the other nipple and moved back up to kiss him gently. The slurpy sound created by their battling tongues was the only sound in the dark room.

Mike pulled Harvey's pants and underwear down to his knees without breaking the kiss and grabbed Harvey's leaking cock.

"God, Mike...", Harvey whispered in his mouth.

Mike thumbed over the bead of precome and sticked his finger into his mouth so Harvey could taste himself while kissing him.

They both moaned loudly and Mike began stroking Harvey's cock again.

"I'm... I'm close.", Harvey whimpered.

Mike kissed him and started to stroke him faster, making him groan.

"God, Mike !", he shouted, his head buried in Mike's neck, breathing loudly through his nose while hot shots landed on Mike's stomach.

He stayed still for a minute before cupping Mike's face and kissing him softly on the lips.

"Mike...", he whispered breathlessly.

"I know.", Mike replied, gently running a hand through his hair. "I still enjoyed it. I like to make you fall apart"

Harvey propped himself up on one elbow and kissed Mike's nose.

"And now comes the horribly awkward moment when I have to leave after you gave me a handjob and I didn't do anything to you...", he sighed.

"I told you I enjoyed it.", Mike replied, cleaning the come on his stomach with a tissue.

"That's why I didn't want to start anything... It makes me feel weird.", he said, standing up and zipping his pants back up. "I don't know..."

Mike looked at him with sad eyes.

"Don't get me wrong, baby, I loved it. I've missed your body and your touch so much you have no idea.", Harvey said, sitting back on the bed. "But um, I don't know, it makes me look like a client visiting a prostitute, don't you think ?"

Mike burst out laughing.

"Oh my God, Harvey, you're such a drama queen !", he laughed.

Harvey rolled his eyes and stood up to gather his belongings.

Mike couldn't stop laughing.

"Fuck, Harvey ! You think way too much !", he said, trying to catch his breath. "I should have recorded you !", he started laughing again.

Harvey rolled his eyes one more time and folded his arms across his chest.

"Are you done ?", he asked.

"Never !", Mike replied, wiping tears from the corner of his eyes. "Seriously, Harvey, it was the best night since the accident. Thank you so much."

He smiled and pressed his lips together.

"Come on, Hunky, kiss me !"

Harvey smiled and complied.

"I love you.", he whispered. "Happy birthday."

"I love you too. And I'm proud to be your fiancé.", Mike replied, kissing him.

"I gotta go now. Goodnight baby.", Harvey called from the door.

"Good night Hunky !", Mike replied, cheerfully.

 

When Harvey was finally settled in the tiny studio where he stayed, he sat on the bed and sighed, covering his tired face with his hands.

It was always going to be a battle with Mike. Since the accident, Mike had tried countless times to push him away.

There was this one time, right before leaving for Atlanta, Mike had sent him an email thanking him for having been there and everything and telling him to let go. He had once again asked him to not visit him again, to not contact him again and Harvey had waited patiently, giving him space, until Mike finally had caved and called, crying like a baby.

There was this other time when Harvey first came to visit him when he had started a fight out of nowhere and for no apparent reason and they had spent the evening shouting at each other. Harvey had tried to keep his cool, he knew Mike was just trying to infuriate him so that he would leave.

He had shown incredible patience, even more incredible since he was Harvey fucking Specter, and each time they had kissed and made up.

But Harvey was starting to grow tired of the endless fight. Devoting all of his precious free time to Mike was consuming. He always felt exhausted and emotionally drained after his weekends with Mike and it was starting to show at work.

He needed to hold out. Because he loved Mike and because he would never let him win. Never.

That night he went straight to bed and fell asleep, dreaming about a happy Mike walking down the aisle on their wedding day.


	18. The Last Fight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning : excessive angst. I have no idea how this came out of my head but it did...  
> If you like to read while listening to music, this is the song I listened to when writing :  
> http://youtu.be/MEaxoSMUgXI (The Cranberries - No Need to Argue), I think it fits perfectly.

They spent a quiet weekend after the rather eventful birthday/proposal night.

Harvey worked in Mike’s room while he was doing physiotherapy, they had lunch and dinner together and went for a stroll in the streets of Atlanta on Sunday morning.

Harvey tried to be more affectionate with Mike but still didn’t feel comfortable touching parts of his body he knew he wouldn’t feel.

 

On the following Monday, Harvey came to work to find an orchid and a jewelry box on his desk.

“I want everybody to know you belong to me like I belong to you. Love. Your fiancé.”, the card read.

He smiled and proudly put on the platinum Cartier diamond incrusted ring on his finger.

“So, I guess he said yes ?”, Donna asked with a wink.

Harvey held out his hand to show her the ring.

“It’s beautiful.”, she sighed. “I want a rich boyfriend too.”

Harvey laughed and waved his hand in the air.

“Show off.”, Donna said, faking annoyance.

 

Harvey got swamped with work for the rest of the week. Mike had asked him to get the Snapchat app so he had and they exchanged a lot of snaps and talked on the phone every night.

As he was packing his bag for the weekend before going to work this Friday, he got a call from the center.

“M. Specter, Professor Hermann on the phone.”

“Oh, hi.”, Harvey said, holding the phone between his shoulder and ear while putting clothes into his duffle bag. “Is everything ok with Mike ?”

“Yes and no.”, the woman answered. “Mike has been making tremendous progress since the last time you were here, he can stand up on his own. Even though he cannot stay up very long, it’s huge. But he has refused to eat since Tuesday and it’s starting to be a problem because he’s too weak to attend his physiotherapy sessions.”

Harvey stopped what he was doing and grabbed the phone in his hand.

“What ? But I talked to him yesterday night and he seemed fine !”, he exclaimed. “Why did you wait three days to call me ?”

“Because we did not notice it before. He was hiding the food in his bathroom.”, she replied calmly.

“Why would he stop eating ?”

“Well, he had an _accident_ on Monday.”, she replied and he could almost see her air quoting the word. “You know he’s refused to wear diapers so we closely monitor his food and that way he’s able to know when he has to use the restrooms. But it seems like going to the restaurant on Friday and Sunday last week has messed up with our calculations and he’s defecated on himself twice on Monday afternoon and Tuesday morning. He hasn’t been eating since.”

Harvey swallowed and exhaled loudly.

“I’m catching the next plane to Atlanta.”, he said. “Don’t tell him I’m coming.”

“I won’t. I’ll see you later M. Specter.”

He hung up, feeling angry and sad. He definitely couldn’t seem to catch a break.

He called Donna, had her push his meetings until next week and told Jessica he wouldn’t come in to work today.

 

3 hours later, he was walking down the corridor to Mike’s room, fists and jaw tightly clenched.

He took a deep breath when he got to the door and knocked.

“It’s open.”, he heard Mike call.

He came in. Mike was sitting on his wheelchair in his underwear, reading a book. He looked pale. His collection bag was almost full so Harvey guessed that if he wasn’t eating, at least he did drink.

“Harvey ?”, he said, blushing.

“What the hell is going on, Mike ?”, Harvey asked with a stern voice.

“I’m reading a book, is that forbidden ?”, Mike said, smiling smugly.

Harvey walked slowly towards Mike with a threatening look.

“I didn’t cancel all my meetings and come all the way down here to hear your make fun of me.”, he snapped, bending down and grabbing the armrests of the wheelchair, his face inches away from Mike’s.

“Then why did you come ?”, Mike asked seemingly unimpressed, eyes fixed on his book.

Harvey snatched the book from his hands and threw it across the room.

Mike jumped with fright.

“You look at me when I’m talking to you !”, Harvey shouted, roughly lifting Mike’s chin up.

“Let go of me !”, Mike shouted back, swatting his arm away.

“Answer me, Mike ! What the hell is going on ?”, Harvey repeated his initial question.

Mike bit his bottom lip and looked away.

Harvey crossed his arms and waited for a few more seconds for Mike to finally speak.

“Alright, you don’t want to tell me ? It doesn’t matter because I already know. Professor Hermann called me this morning and she told me _everything_.”, he said, emphasizing the last word.

“Great.”, Mike scoffed. “No really, that’s great. What did she tell you ? That your little boy was being a brat and throwing tantrums ? That he shit his pants twice earlier this week ? That he didn’t want to finish his plate ? Naughty naughty boy !”

There they were again. Harvey had not been in the room for 5 minutes and they were already fighting.

“Mike.”, he said, trying to hide his anger. “They’re going to have to put a feeding tube again.”

“No, they don’t _have to_. I’m a grown up, I can chose to eat or not. And I don’t want to.”

“You know what happens when you don’t eat, right ?”, Harvey asked ironically.

“Yup. And I don’t care. I.don’t.care, Harvey.”, he said calmly and looking straight into Harvey’s eyes. “I don’t care anymore. I’m done fighting. I’m done waiting for my legs to finally decide to walk again. I’m done pissing in a bag. I’m done shitting my pants. I’m done hoping for something that doesn’t seem to be coming. So really, I don’t care what happens now.”

Harvey’s heart broke into a million pieces cutting holes through his body. He swallowed hard and closed his eyes.

“I need some air.”, he almost whispered, fighting back the tears.

He grabbed his coat and left the room just in time because as soon as he was in the corridor, he was hit by a wave of tears. He fell down to his knees and put a hand on the wall for balance.

“Sir, are you ok ?”, a nurse asked him, patting his shoulder.

Harvey took a deep breath and could not avoid what was coming : he threw up.

He wiped his mouth with his sleeve.

“I’m sorry…”, he whispered. “I’m alright, I just need some air.”

He heard the nurse call for a janitor and she helped him up.

“Thank you.”, he sobbed. “Sorry about the mess. I… I’m sorry.”

“It’s ok, don’t worry.”, she said in a soothing voice, cleaning the mess on his pants with a towel. “Go get some air in the park.”

Harvey took a deep breath and walked to the entrance doors.

He sat down on the steps and took his head in his hands.

He was tired of comforting Mike. Tired of being strong for the two of them. Tired of fighting. Physically and emotionally exhausted.

He clenched his fists to stop his hands from trembling. His pants were ruined and he reeked of puke. Thankfully, he had left his bag in the rented car.

He waited for a couple of minutes to regain his composure and walked to the car to get his bag.

He then walked to the housing building, checked in and took a long soothing shower.

When he got out, he changed and turned on the TV to watch CNN.

The endless stream of news started playing and his eyes were caught by the newsfeed at the bottom of the screen.

It read “BREAKING NEWS : MICHAEL ROSS RESIGNING FROM HARRIS INDUSTRIES DUE TO HEALTH REASONS.”

His heart stopped beating.

He grabbed his phone and called George Harris.

“Harvey.”, George said when he picked up.

“What the hell George, you let him resign ?”, he almost shouted.

“Harvey.”, the oil mogul sighed. “He contacted me Monday evening. He said his condition wasn’t improving and that his involvement in the company wasn’t satisfactory to him, that he couldn’t possibly keep his position in his current state, that he wanted to resign. I offered him to step aside until he felt better but he refused. His lawyer contacted me the next morning and we had a board meeting yesterday to finalize his departure.”

“His lawyer ?”, Harvey scoffed. “ _I_ _am_ his lawyer !”

“He knew you’d try to make him change his mind, so he contacted another firm.”, George replied apologetically.

“I see. Thank you for telling me.”

“I’m sorry Harvey, it must be really difficult for you both.”

“It is…”, Harvey sighed. “Have a good day.”

“Fuck !”, Harvey shouted, throwing his phone against the wall. It broke into pieces on the floor.

He stood up, pick up the sim card and folded it into his jeans pocket. He grabbed his coat and car keys and left the room.

 

An hour later, he was sipping a cup of coffee on a terrace, synchronizing his apps in his brand new iPhone 5S. Breaking his phone out of rage was a stupid thing to do but so was resigning from your job.

He was contemplating the idea of going back to New York on the next flight when his phone rang. He did not recognize the number because he had not updated his contact list yet.

“Harvey Specter.”, he said, clearing his throat.

“Harvey…”

He closed his eyes.

“Where are you ?”, Mike asked in a small voice.

“Somewhere in the city.”

“You did not come back.”

“No, I did not.”

“Do you want to ?”

“I’ll be right there.”

He hung up, left a couple of wrinkled one dollar bills on the table and drove back to the center.

 

When he entered his room, Mike was lying on his bed, fully dressed.

“I’m sorry Harvey.”, he said.

“For what ?”, Harvey asked, still mad.

“For giving up.”

“Are you ? Giving up ?”

“I don’t know… I gave up my job.”

Harvey bit the inside of his mouth. When he did not react, Mike continued.

“I’m tired, Harvey. I’m bored. Everything hurts. I’m doing my best every fucking day, putting up with every fucking exercise I’m asked to do in sessions, scheduling my meals to know the exact time I’m going to have to go to the restrooms. And when I’m there, I have to fucking shove a finger up in my ass and press until feces come out ! This usually takes me an hour every day ! Can you imagine having to live like this for the rest of your life ? I can’t.”

Harvey looked away. He could only imagine how hard things were for Mike. How much it had cost him to reveal the gruesome details he had tried his best to keep from him since the beginning. How boring his life at the center was. How useless he must feel.

He sat down on the edge of the bed.

“Mike.”, he said, fighting the tears for the goddamn second time of the day. “I can’t pretend to know what you’re going through, I can only imagine. But I know one thing. I love you and it breaks my heart to…”, he started crying. “It breaks my heart to see you like this. I’m tired of you fighting me all the time. Stop cutting me out, _please_. I’m on your side.”

Mike took a deep breath, visibly trying not to cry, and he took Harvey’s hand in his.

“I hate myself for putting you through this. I hate myself for fighting you constantly. That’s why I wanted you to live your life and let me go. I cannot stand to see you cry and fight my battles for me.”, he squeezed Harvey’s hand. “I want to marry you, Harvey, I really do. But not like that. Not now. Not as long as I’m trapped in this wheelchair. I need to fight this on my own. I know you mean well but our relationship puts too much pressure on me. Just like my job did. I need you to let go. If we’re meant to be then we’ll meet again.”

Harvey smiled nervously.

“This has been your goal from the start. To tire me out.”, he said through greeted teeth.

He looked down at their entwined fingers and Mike’s shiny engagement ring.

 _A fucking week ago_. His nostrils flared as fresh tears started rolling down his already damp cheeks.

He stood up, put on his coat and walked to the door.

“Just promise me one thing.”, he said, his face to the wall. “Promise me you won’t give up.”

“I promise, Harvey. I’ll stay here as long as it takes to walk again.”

Harvey left the room, closed the door and ran out of the building.

They had had their fair share of fights and Mike had asked to be left alone a hundred times. But this time, as he was driving back to the airport, Harvey somehow knew it was the last time he had set foot in the center.


	19. The New Deal

After that one last battle, Harvey went home, threw away everything that reminded him of Mike and went to bed shit drunk after having cried every single tear his eyes could produce.

He did not show up for work for two months and would spend his days drinking, crying and breaking things out of anger.

Donna was the only one allowed in his condo. She would bring him food and make sure he showered, dressed and got some rest. He was a living ghost, a zombie. He did not talk, didn’t listen to music anymore. All he did was drink, smoke cigarettes, cry and sleep.

Then one night, he decided he had been miserable long enough. He was done mourning Mike. And _fuck_ , he was done caring for people ! Once again, he had cared and it had left him dead inside.

He decided to go out for drinks and accidently bumped into none other than Ted Philipps. Harvey was already pretty tipsy, had not shaved in weeks and his clothes were worn out. He looked like shit. Ted knew Harvey and had learned that he had stopped showing up for work. He knew something was wrong. When he asked him what it was, Harvey told him the whole story in one breath. They spent the night drinking, remembering their time at Harvard and talking about moving on and building a firm together. They had too many drinks and ended up fucking like teenagers at Harvey's condo. 

The next morning they agreed to never do it or talk about again and both gave their letter of resignation that day. Harvey had found a new goal.

A month after that life changing night, they had already closed 5 top clients, recruited 4 associates and they had moved into a building three blocks away from Harvey's former firm.

 

5 years later, they were the most powerful firm in New York, and certainly one of the most powerful in the country. Two names that would make any opposing counsel shiver in fear. Their clients' names were Ford Motors, Wallmart, AT&T, Philipps Electronics or Apple. Only high-profile clients for the best team of closers.

They were sharks, piling up winnings and sexual partners. They formed an incredible team and clients were lining up at their door.

Of course, Donna had followed Harvey in this new adventure. She was happily married and raising a three-year-old little boy named Mark. 

 

Harvey never talked to Mike again. He cut all ties with his friends and he almost never heard of him again either. Just that one time, two years after the day he had left the Shepherds Center for the last time, he had stumbled upon a small article in a "Where are they now ?" column telling Mike's story and stating that he had moved to Europe were he was currently doing business.

It hadn't mention if he had recover from his accident. 

He had not even flinched then. He had spent years building huge iron walls around his heart and all that mattered to him now was winning cases. He had become cold and short-tempered and the only people who could still see through these walls were Ted and Donna. The way he smiled at her son when he asked for a hug, the Christmas presents he always carefully chose for his 4 nieces and nephews, the music he still played in his office when he was feeling less up than usual... to Donna, they were signs that her best friend was still there, somewhere.

But Harvey had changed. He was richer, cockier and more calculative. His new hobbies included trips to the Hamptons or the Bahamas, car racing, golf tournaments and 40-grand-a-night escorts.

 

On a rainy September day, Harvey called Donna in his office.

"What can I do for you ?", she asked.

His office at Specter Philipps was almost twice as big as the one he had at Pearson Specter and his record collection had very much expended. There were exclusive paintings on the wall but no more signed balls. They were tokens of a long forgotten past.

"Can you call Tim Cook's assistant to set up a meeting with him this week ? I just received a subpoena, he's being sued for copyrights infringement.", Harvey replied, his eyes fixed on the legal paper he had just been delivered.

"Will do.", she replied, leaving his office.

"Knock knock !", Ted singsonged.

"Just the man I wanted to see. Tim Cook's been slapped with,-"

"Tell me about that later, there's something I want to ask you.", he said, sitting down on the couch.

Harvey arched an eyebrow.

"Well, I told you about Pierre, right ?"

"That French boy you met at the Yankee game ?"

"Yes, him", Ted replied, rolling his eyes. "We're getting married in two weeks and I want you to be my best man."

Harvey burst out laughing.

"You can't be serious Ted, you met him like two days ago !"

Ted rolled his eyes again.

"Two months, Harvey. And I know he's the one."

"Whatever.", Harvey said, shaking his head in disbelief.

"So, will you be my best man ?"

"Yes, but don't go knocking on my door when he breaks your heart, alright."

Ted grinned.

"So, you've finally decided to settle down ?", Harvey joked. "I can't wait to meet the man who tamed the insatiable Ted Philipps."

"You're just as insatiable as me, Harvey !"

"Maybe. Who's gonna help pick up cuties in bars now ?"

"Like you need any help... Anyway, what about Tim Cook ?"

 

The next week, they managed to make the opposing counsel drop the charges against Apple, because that's what they did. They just won all the time. 

They went out for drinks at The Chilton’s to celebrate.

"So ?", Harvey asked. "How's the wedding going ?"

"About that...", Ted replied looking down.

"What ? He broke your heart already ? Wedding's off ?"

"No ! We're really happy, _thank you_. but,", Ted bit his lower lip. "We were going through the guest list yesterday night and well..."

"Spill it, already, what is it ?"

"Ok, ok. Pierre's best man is Mike Ross.", Ted muttered.

Harvey's jaw dropped to the floor.

"Wait, what ?"

"Yeah, I know... I couldn't believe it. And Ross is a pretty common name so I asked Pierre about him and it turns out it's _the_ Mike Ross."

Ted studied Harvey's face expectantly.

Harvey licked his lips.

"Ok.", he just said.

"Ok ?"

"What ? Did you expect me to tell you I didn't want to be your best man anymore ?"

Ted shrugged.

"I don't know. I didn't know how you'd react. But I'm glad it doesn't change anything.", he said, smiling.

"Why would it ? Mike is a distant memory.", Harvey scoffed, taking a big swallow of scotch.

"Yeah right.", Ted mumbled.

"I heard you.", Harvey said. "Please, tell Pierre not to tell Mike that I'm your best man ok ?"

 

When Harvey got home that night, in his new bigger, more expensive, more luxurious condo, he poured himself yet another glass of scotch. 

Though he had quit smoking, his alcohol consumption had grown proportionally with his lifestyle. He drank everyday, because there was always a reason to celebrate, and he often went to bed fully dressed, too drunk to shower and change. But that didn't affect his work so he didn't care to acknowledge the problem. Donna had tried to warn him nicely but he had sent her flying every time she had brought up the subject so now she just turned a blind eye on it.

He put a record on and laid down on his couch, rubbing his eyes.

He fell asleep trying to get Mike Ross out of his head.

 

The wedding day arrived. Ted had not mention Mike Ross to Harvey again and he had managed to pass on all his work to him, pretending to be in over his head with the wedding preparations. 

 

"You're going to be fine.", Donna said, adjusting his bow tie.

"Of course I am, why ?", Harvey asked, feigning ignorance.

When Ted had told her about Pierre's best man, she had freaked out. She had tried to convince Ted to make Pierre ask another person, she even had called Pierre to beg him. He had told her Mike was his best friend and that there was no way he’d cut him out of the wedding just because Harvey had been involved with him 5 years ago. She had understood but couldn’t help but fear the worst.

"Nothing.", she said, kissing his cheek. "You look stunning. Mark, come say bye to Uncle Harvey."

The little boy rushed into the room and into Harvey's open arms.

"You look like Batman !", he said, pocking at his bow tie.

Harvey chuckled and kissed him on the cheek.

"Gotta go now, be nice with your Mum, ok ?"

"Yes !", the little boy squealed, running back to his room.

Donna sighed with a little smile and pulled Harvey into a tight hug.

"Call me.", she whispered in his ear.

He smiled and left her apartment.

 

The cab ride to the location was short and Harvey tried to make his growing anxiety go away by uncharacteristically chatting with the driver.

When he arrived at the Gotham Hall on Broadway, he took a deep breath before paying for the fair and stepping out of the cab.

"Harvey !", Ted called from the porch, waving both hands.

Harvey smiled nervously and walked the red carpet towards his soon to be married associate. 

“Get inside, most of our guests are here.”, Ted said, patting his shoulder.

Harvey entered the exclusive building. The lights were dim and there indeed were a lot of people waiting for the ceremony. He wondered for a second how they had managed to gather so many people on such short notice

Then, he saw him and it stopped him dead in his tracks.

He was standing sideways, with the help of a black cane, and laughing with an old woman but Harvey knew it was him. He could have recognized him anywhere, though he looked noticeably bulkier than when Harvey had met him 5 years ago.

Harvey braced himself and walked up to Pierre.

"Harvey !”, the young man cheered, pulling him into a hug.

“Ready ?”, Harvey asked with a wink.

“Yes !”, Pierre grinned.

Ted joined them a couple of minutes later.

"Harvey, let me introduce you to some of my family members.", he said, grabbing Harvey and dragging him through the crowd.

He introduced Harvey to one of his uncle, a former lawyer, to two of his aunts and then they went to say hello to Ted's parents. He had not seen them since that fateful day when his Mum had walked up on them making out almost 25 years ago.

"Mum, you remember Harvey Specter.", he said.

"Harvey ?", a voice came from behind him.

He turned around and his eyes met Mike's blue eyes.

The younger man grinned.

"Nice to see you !", he exclaimed.

"Yeah, me too.”, Harvey replied, offering his hand.

Mike looked surprised by the formal gesture but he shook his hand.

"I was actually expecting to see you here. When Pierre told me he was marrying Ted Phillips from Specter Phillips, it rung a tiny bell.", Mike smiled.

Harvey faked a smile.

"I'll see you at the ceremony ?", Mike said.

"I'm Ted best man, so yes.", Harvey replied sharply.

Mike pursed his lips, nodded and walked away.

"You can try to look as unaffected as you want, Harvey, but I see right through you.", Ted whispered.

Harvey rolled his eyes. He needed a drink.

 

During the ceremony, which was longer than usual since it was conducted both in English and French, Harvey and Mike were sitting on opposite sides of the room. 

Harvey took this opportunity take a closer look at his former lover. He looked happy. He also looked older, much older than the young man he had met at the airport almost 6 years ago, much older than he should have looked. His five o clock shadow made his face look slimmer. He was wearing a tailored black tux and Harvey noticed that he often had to sit down during the long ceremony. 

 

When Ted and Pierre were officially pronounced husband and husband, all the guests were invited to go up the mezzanine for a cocktail party.

Friends and family members of the two grooms who were either seeking quick legal counsel or for a chance to be represented by their firm approached Harvey. Business cards and pleasantries were exchanged and glasses of champagne were emptied. Harvey emptied a lot of them.

Just before dinner, as Harvey was coming out of the restrooms, Mike, who was sitting on a chair, called him.

Harvey nodded and walked up to him.

"So, how long have you known Pierre ?", Harvey asked, sitting down.

He hated small talk and even more with Mike.

"I met him when I moved to Paris 4 years ago. He was my French teacher.", Mike replied with a smile.

"So you live in Paris ?"

"Not anymore. I moved back to New York last year. I'm trying to expand my company."

"What business are you in ?"

"Well,", Mike said, his eyes glowing with passion. "I teamed up with a software designer and we created and launched an application for disabled people. It enables you to use your phone whatever your handicap may be, whether you're blind or deaf or can't use your hands, the app takes over the normal operating system and your phone becomes handicapped-friendly."

Harvey raised his eyebrows.

"Impressive.", he said, trying to hold the younger man's gaze.

"Not as impressive as Specter Philips !", Mike smiled. "I googled you when Pierre told me you were going to be at the wedding. What you have managed to accomplish in 5 years is extraordinary."

Mike looked impressed. 

"Thank you. But that's mostly Ted's work. He used his famous name to sign our first big client, Phillips Electronics. The rest of our high-profile clients naturally followed."

"Don't be modest. I know your results and they're _your_ work. You haven't lost a single lawsuit since you created the firm !"

"What can I say ?", Harvey smiled. "I'm good."

"You're still the best."

They both smiled and looked away.

"How have you been ?", Harvey asked.

"Good.", Mike replied. "As you've seen, I did what I could but I did not recuperate 100%, I will always need a cane and I can’t take long walks anymore, let alone run or bike.”, he sighed. “I've gotten used to it, it's really not a problem."

"I'm happy for you."

"Thank you Harvey. How have _you_ been ?"

"Good, I guess. Been working a lot.", Harvey replied, picking his cuticles nervously. "How long did it take to literally get back on your feet ?", he asked.

Mike swallowed.

"A little over a year and half. When um, when we...", he blushed. "I mean, it took almost a year of physiotherapy to regain complete feeling in my legs and lower back and 5 more months to learn to walk again. The last part was the hardest. You'd think you can't lose the ability to walk because you've already learned, that you're just supposed to put one foot in front the other, you know ? Well, it's not that simple."

“I bet it isn’t.”, Harvey said, looking away. “It’s great that you pulled through.”

“I made a promise.”

Harvey silently sighed and emptied his umpteenth glass of champagne.

“Boys !”, Pierre called. “Let’s go to the ballroom for dinner !”

They both stood up and walked to the huge high ceiling ballroom.

The room was truly breathtaking, boasting Corinthian columns, granite walls, marble flooring, inscriptions and antique attributes, and a domed ceiling with a 3,000 square foot stained glass skylight. Sophisticated and colorful lighting provided a intimate atmosphere to the gigantic room.

Harvey and Mike were shown to their seats at the head table with the newlyweds, along with Pierre’s sister Isaure and Ted’s brothers, Matt and Peter.

Harvey was sitting between Mike and Pierre’s sister. Isaure was a 21-year-old beautiful young lady. She could speak perfect English and wanted to become a lawyer so she spent the whole main course bombarding Harvey with questions, which he happily answered.

Each dish was served accompanied with fine French wine Harvey tossed back, glass after glass.

At one point, as he was grabbing the bottle of Merlot to pour himself another one, Mike grabbed his wrist.

“I think you’ve had enough, Harvey.”, he whispered.

“Hum, excuse me ?”, Harvey scoffed.

“You heard me. You’ve had six glasses and dessert’s not even here yet.”

“So you’re spying on me ?”, Harvey said a tad too loud, making everybody around the table stop talking and turn their head.

Mike cleared his throat.

“Whatever.”, he mumbled, looking down at his plate.

Harvey poured himself a glass, swallowed it in one gulp and plunked it back on the table, making everybody jump.

He stood up and left. He needed air and a cigarette.

He heaved a loud sigh when he finally stepped outside.

The weather wasn’t too bad but it was chilly. He asked a passerby for a cigarette and a lighter and sat down on the red-carpeted steps.

“What happened ?”, he heard Ted ask behind him.

“Nothing, Ted. Sorry about that.”, he replied, blowing a smoke ring.

“Something happened, Harvey.”, Ted insisted, sitting down next to him. “Did Mike do something ?”

“Nah. He said I had had enough to drink.”

“Hum.”

“What ?”, Harvey said, tossing his cigarette butt on the sidewalk.

“Well, you’ve had a lot to drink.”, Ted replied cautiously.

Harvey laughed nervously.

“Is everybody spying on me or what ?!”, he shouted.

“I’m not spying Harvey.”, Ted said, standing back up. “You’re drunk. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out you’ve had too much to drink. You should go home.”

“Yeah.”, Harvey whispered.

Ted went back inside and Harvey stayed outside for a couple more minutes before retrieving his coat from the cloakroom and taking a cab home.


	20. The Scotch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whohooo more than 8000 hits and almost 300 kudos ! You guys are amazing, you keep me going ! I've been receiving a lot of comments lately so thank you to all of you who take the time to write them. They're greatly appreciated. I hope you like this new chapter.  
> Edit : just noticed I started this fic exactly one month ago :D

Harvey woke up in the middle of the afternoon with a pounding headache. Nothing new under the sun, he woke up like this 5 to 6 days a week. There would usually be a gorgeous endeless-legged beauty lying next to him, though. Because he now only slept with women, to whom he would say something like "Hey that was great, but all good things come to an end..." before discharging them in the morning. What wasn’t new either was the guilt he felt every time he drunk too much. Guilt leading to anger, he would usually change into his sport attire and hit the gym to ease off.

He checked his phone on his way to the nearby boxing ring. Donna had sent him a text to check if he was alright. He replied a quick “Yes. Have a good day.”. There was a missed call from Ted and another one from Pierre. He put his phone back into his gym bag and closed his locker. He didn’t put his gloves on, just the hand wraps because he needed to feel the pain. That would be his punishment.

He spent a little over an hour restlessly hitting a punching bag until he couldn’t feel his fingers and whimpered loudly when he tried to flex his hands. His fingers were almost purple.

He walked to the water cooler and was startled by a voice.

“Specter, you’re an idiot.”

He turned around.  _Ted_.

“When you did not answer your door, I knew I’d find you here.”, Ted said.

“Why are you here and not having celebratory sex with your new husband ?”, Harvey asked breathlessly, unfolding the wrap from around his hands and wincing.

“Because I was worried about you.”, Ted replied, looking at Harvey’s hand. “Did you really have to break your fingers ?”

“It’s not broken.”, Harvey deadpanned.

Ted shook his head.

“How are you ?”, he asked.

“Fine.”, Harvey replied, flexing his fingers. “Sorry about last night. I hope the party was nice.”

“It’s ok. Yeah, it was nice. We went to bed at 6 this morning.”

“I shouldn’t have drunk so much.”

“No, you shouldn’t drink so much.”, Ted confirmed. “I didn’t think seeing Mike would affect you that much after all these years.”

“Me neither.”, Harvey simply replied, grabbing his gym bag. “Let’s go.”

“Mike asked for your number and I gave it to him.", Ted said, looking down."You know him, he would have called the firm anyway.”

“Look Ted. I really need to shower, thank you for checking up on me. Go spend time with your husband.”

“Harvey.”

“Please, Ted.”

“Alright.", Ted sighed. "See you tomorrow at the office.”  

 

Harvey showered and got dressed. He wanted, scratch that,  _needed_  a glass of scotch but he settled for a cup of coffee.  _For_ _now_.

As he was making his bed, his phone rang.

“Harvey Specter.”, he said.

“Hey Harvey, it’s Mike.”

His heart jumped in his chest.

“Hey Mike.”

“Did I wake you up ?”

“No, I just came back from the gym.”

“Still training for the Olympics I see.”, Mike joked.

Harvey smiled.

“Ted gave me your number.”

“Yeah, he told me. To what do I owe the honor of your call ?”

There was a pause.

“Hum, nothing in particular.”, Mike replied. “Since we did not get to talk much yesterday, I was thinking we could have lunch or dinner together next week ? You know, to catch up.”

Seeing Mike again had never crossed Harvey’s mind but life being a bitch, they had been best men at the same wedding. Thankfully, he had managed to pull through without much trouble.  _Ok, maybe a little_. But now Mike was asking to see him again ? And alone ? This was going against the very first rule of Harvey’s new life : Forget about Mike Ross. And the second one : Never think about Mike Ross again. Come to think of it, the third one too : Never talk to Mike Ross again. Three rules he had already broken. _Shit_.

“I don’t know, Mike, I’m really busy.”, he replied, placing the last pillow on the bed.

“How about… let’s say….”, he could hear Mike check in his phone calendar. “Tomorrow at noon ?”, he asked.

“I am very busy, Mike.”

"How about Wednesday then ?”

“Mike.”

“Thursday ?”

Harvey sighed.

“Friday ?”, Mike asked tentatively in a high-pitched voice.

“How about never ?”, Harvey deadpanned.

“Let me check…”, Mike said as Harvey rolled his eyes. “Never’s fine with me. I’ll pick up you up at noon.”

Mike wasn’t going to let go. And for some reason he could not explain, Harvey caved.

“Let’s make it 12:30.”, he said. “And you don’t  _pick me up._ We’ll meet at my office.”

“Great ! See you on Monday then !”, Mike cheered.

At least Harvey got to set the time… and now was the perfect time for a glass of scotch because he deserved one, didn't he ?

 

On Monday morning, Harvey set foot in his office building a 7.

"Morning boss. You're early.", Donna stated when he passed by her desk. 

Harvey rolled his eyes and entered his office, making sure to close the door behind him.

"Ok.", Donna snapped, storming into the room. "I will not take offence at the text you sent me yesterday given the circomstances but I will not tolerate another greeting of that kind. It's me, Harvey ! Fucking say Hello when you see me in the morning !", she shouted, walking to Harvey until they were practically toe to toe.

Harvey took a step back and swallowed. Donna was the only person on earth who could scare him.

"Sorry.", he muttered.

"What ?", she said, holding a finger to her ear dramatically.

"I'm sorry Donna.", Harvey repeated, emphasising his diction.

Donna pursed her lips and folded her arms across her chest.

"You're forgiven.", she said. "Now tell me what has you in such a sour mood."

"And if I don't want to ?"

"I'm gonna pretend I didn't just hear that.", she deadpanned.

Harvey rolled his eyes.

"I'm having lunch with Mike today."

Donna smiled softly.

"Oh.", she said. "Is he coming here ?"

"Yes."

"Great. I'm going to go back to my desk now. Let me know if you need anything."

She walked out and winked at him when she turned around to close the door.

 

Of course, Mike showed up at noon. Harvey saw him walk up to Donna's desk in the corner of his eye. The door to his office had been left open by one of the associates.

"Mike Ross. What a surprise.", Donna said, getting up and walking around her desk to pull him into a hug. "You look great."

"Thank you.", Mike replied with a grin. "You do too. Have you been drinking the blood of innocent babies ? You don't look a day older than the first time we met !"

"Yeah right, ass kisser. Here to see the old man ?"

"Yes.", Mike replied. "Can I go in ?"

"Sure."

Mike knocked on the open door.

"Come in.", Harvey said, trying his hardest to look unimpressed and cool.

"Now that is some nice office !", Mike said, walking in.

He was wearing a white V-neck t-shirt, a black blazer and black jeans. He had shaven and smelled delicious. The same delicious smell of the cologne he had worn the first time he came to pick him up in his 5th Avenue loft.

"It is nice. And you're early.", he said, his eyes going back to admiring his blank computer screen.

"Didn't we say noon ?", he asked with a smirk.

" _You_ said noon. I said 12:30."

"Well, I can wait if you want."

"No, I'm ready."

"Great, let's go !", Mike cheered. "Wait. What happened to your hands ?"

"Boxing."

Mike shook his head and followed him out.

 

They chose to go to a little fine Italian place right around the corner from Specter Philipps. 

"George, George Harris, told me he approached you last week and that you turned him down?", Mike said, taking a huge bite of his steak.

"You kept in touch ?", Harvey asked, sipping his sparkling water. When they had placed their order and the waiter had asked what they whished to drink, Mike had practically shouted "Water !". Harvey could really have used a nice glass of red wine. Or two.

"Actually, I still own half his company, I'm just not on the board anymore."

"I see."

"Why did you turn him down ?"

"Why do you care ?", Harvey asked, looking up.

Mike raised an eyebrow.

"Because ExxonMobil is a huge client ?"

Harvey scoffed.

"Well, if you really want to know the thruth, I turned him down because he belongs to a past I'd rather not be reminded of.", Harvey replied, looking deep into Mike's eyes.

Mike blushed and looked down. _And_ _so_ _do you,_ Harvey thought.

All of a sudden, he wanted to ask him so many questions. Are you happy ? Are you seeing someone ? Do you still love me ? Do you regret what happened ? Do you feel weird too ? But these questions also made hurtful memories spring back to his mind. He tried to hide his discomfort by stuffing food into his dry mouth.

"He thought that was the reason why. He's left Pearson Tanner Litt and is looking for a new firm. He told me to let you know that you can still change your mind. He really wants you to represent him.", Mike said, clearing his throat.

"Is that why you wanted to have lunch with me ? To plead his case ?"

"Hum, no, I just thought I should let you know."

"Then what do you want, Mike ?"

"I don't _want_ anyhting, Harvey.", Mike replied, refilling their glasses with sparkling water. "When Pierre mentionned your name a month ago, I, uh... I thought it'b be nice to catch up."

Harvey pursed his lips.

"Why didn't you try to contact me when you left the center ?", he asked.

Mike looked taken aback by Harvey's straight-to-the-point question and he took a moment to think before answering.

"Because I figured you'd have moved on.", he said, holding Harvey's accusatory gaze. "I couldn't just call you and hope that we would pick up things where we had left them, could I ?"

Mike's phone rang.

"Sorry, I have to get that.", he said, turning his back to Harvey.

"Yes ?", he was whispering but Harvey could here him. "No, I'm at a restaurant, what is it ?" "No, it's ok, I'll buy another one, but yes I will punish you for touching it when I said no." "Tell Marine I'll call her later, alright ? And stop crying, be a good boy, ok ?" "No, I'm not coming right now, I'll see you tonight." Air kissing.

"Sorry about that.", he said, turning back to Harvey and folding his phone into his pocket.

Harvey raised an eyebrow and Mike sighed.

"It was my son.", he almost whispered.

"Your son.", Harvey repeated.

"His name is Eliott, he's 3."

"Cute.", Harvey said. 

 _Mike has a kid_.

"Before you ask, surrogate mother.", Mike said.

"I wasn't going to ask. None of my business.", Harvey lied.

"Anyway...", Mike cleared his throat.

Harvey took his wallet out his pocket and stood up.

"Shall we go ?", he said, already walking towards the register.

Harvey paid for the tab and they silently walked back to Harvey's office building.

"Well...", he said.

"Thank you for lunch.", Mike replied.

"Yeah.", Harvey replied.

They stayed there for a minute, neither of them knowing what to say, how to part.

"I'll see you around.", Harvey finally said, walking towards the door.

He realized what he had said when he got to the elevator. That was exactly what Mike had written on the note he had left on his pillow the morning after they had gone to the game. It felt like a lifetime ago.

His phone blipped.

"I wanted to kiss you."

Harvey's jaw clenched as he deleted Mike's text.

When he got back into his office, Donna wasn't at her desk. He poured himself a glass of scotch and emptied it in one gulp and poured himself another one. He could feel his body slowly relaxing. He tossed back the second glass just as fast and exhaled loudly, his eyes closed.

"How was it ?", Donna asked.

He jumped and put the empty glass back on the tray. Donna had her arms crossed and she was looking at the empty glass.

"Fine.", Harvey replied, pretenting not to see the accusatory glance she was shooting him.

"It's 2 in the afternoon, Harvey.", she said.

"Oh thank you for telling me, but you do know I have a watch, right ?", Harvey deadpanned.

"Listen, Harvey. I know you don't like to talk about it, but it's been-"

"Then shut your mouth !", he snapped.

Donna gaped at him for a couple of seconds.

"You know what ?", she asked in a threatening tone. "I'm done with your tantrums. I'm fucking done with your mood swings !", she was shouting now. "I've been patient. I've been there for you, I almost put my marriage on the line for you ! And because that's what you want, I'll _shut my mouth_. But from now on, Harvey, I want you to email me or text me your requests and I'll do the same. Don't fucking ever talk to me again. And if this doesn't work for you, goddamn fire me !"

With that she left his office.

Harvey's nostrils flared as he clenched his fists on his knees, wincing at the pain which spread through his still sensitive knuckles. He stood up and poured himself another glass of scotch. A big one. Because Harvey Specter didn't shout or cry anymore, he drunk. He had decided that it eased the pain in his chest a lot faster.

He did not email her. He found the idea ridiculous. Instead he ran his own errands and phoned the associates himself. If he had an appointment to set, he would probably ask Mina, Ted's assistant. But that didn't happen that afternoon.

Donna left early, so he went to his desk and wrote "I'm sorry" on a sticky note he placed in the middle on her computer screen and called Ray.

 

Once in the safety of his huge and silent condo, he did what he always did after a frustrating day at work : he ordered sushis for two, opened a bottle of red wine and called one of his favorite escort girls.

Theresa was young and a lot of fun. She wasn't really smart but she always lightened the mood and giggled at Harvey's joke. 

They didn't eat. They went straight to the bedroom where Harvey fucked her into the mattress until they both fell asleep, sweat dripping on their body, 4 hours later.


	21. The Little Boy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to rewrite this chapter 3 times because I wasn't pleased with how it turned out. I really wanted it to match what I had in mind perfectly. It is from Mike's POV. I hope you like it. Let me know !!!

"Daddyyyy !", the little boy squealed when Mike entered the house.

"Hey buddy.", he smiled, handing his cane to Marine and lifting his son in his arms. "Hey Marine."

"Marine cleaned the mess...", Eliott said, burying his face in Mike's neck.

"I bet she did.", Mike replied. "Since you disobeyed me, I have decided that we're not going to have pizza tonight."

"But Daddy, it's Mondayyyyy !", the little boy cried.

"I know what day it is, Eliott. And I told you I would punish you and this is your punishment. Now you can either go to your room and sulk like a baby or help Daddy with his exercise.", Mike said, putting his son back on the floor. "You're getting too big.", he winced.

"I want to help you.", Eliott replied, pouting.

"That's my big boy.", Mike kissed the crown of his hair. "Let me change and then we'll go to the gym, alright ?"

Mike and Eliott, along with 18 year-old French au pair Marine, lived in a gigantic 6-story townhouse near Time Square Mike had bought a year ago. It had an elevator, 8 bedrooms, 6 baths, a study, a conference room, a roof deck and a 600 square foot garden. It also had an excavated basement housing a full gym and movie theatre. 

Mike had to exercice everyday. His leg muscles still needed daily stretching and strengthening. Eliott loved to join him and Mike let him choose the music and the devices he was going to use. Thanks to these still intense workout sessions, he wasn't the scrawny young man he used to be. He was bulkier and stronger. His legs still hurt when he walked or stood up for more than 10 minutes in a row and there were days he would have to use a wheelchair. This did not happen often but if he wasn't careful with his workout or didn't rest often enough, he knew what to expect.

They did not order pizza, instead Marine baked a quiche. Mike had hired her because his son was born in France and he wanted him to be able to practice the language he had learned for the 2 first years of his life. Eliott could speak French as well as English and often used his skills to tell things to Marine he knew his father wouldn't understand. Mike could speak French but not as perfectly as his son.

When Mike got out of the shower after his workout session, he rode the elevator back down and entered the kitchen.

"It smells delicious.", he said, pointing at the hoven where the quiche was cooking.

The doorbell rang.

"I'll get it.", Marine said smiling.

She came back seconds later.

"There is a woman at the door who wants to talk to you.", she said.

Mike raised an eyebrow and followed Marine back to the lobby.

"Donna."

"Hey Mike.", the red-haired smiled. "I hope I'm not disturbing anything ?"

"No, come in please.", he said, closing the door behind her.

"This is a freaking palace !", she laughed, taking a good look at her surroundings.

Mike laughed.

"We were about to have dinner, would you like to stay ?", he asked, leading her to the kitchen.

"Thank you but I can't stay. My boy is waiting for me.", she replied.

They entered the kitchen.

"Who is it Daddy ?", Eliott asked, hiding behind Marine.

"I'm Donna.", she said, squatting down and holding out her hand. "And who are you ?"

"I'm Eliott.", he whispered, shaking her hand.

"Well, nice to meet you Eliott.", she smiled. "How old are you ?"

"3 !", the little boy exclaimed, proudly holding out 3 fingers.

"I have a little boy too, his name is Mark and he's 3, just like you."

"Oh.", Eliott said.

Donna stood back up.

"He's really cute. He looks just like you.", she smiled at Mike. "Could we go somewhere and talk for a moment ?"

"Sure.", Mike said. "Marine, I'll be right back. Eliott, why don't you help Marine lay the table, ok ?"

They walked to the living room and sat on the couch.

"Harvey was really upset when he came back from lunch and we had a huge blow.", she explained calmly. "I just wanted to know what happened."

Mike swallowed.

"Not much. We, uh, we talked about work and then my son called so we talked about him and I sent him a text right after we said goodbye.", Mike replied sheepishly.

"What did it say ?", Donna asked, pursing her lips.

Mike rolled his eyes.

"Does it matter ? He didn't reply anyway."

"Listen Mike.", Donna said in a stern voice. "It's been a long time. Things have changed, you have changed, Harvey has changed. When you broke up with him, it nearly killed him.", she continued. "And I mean that in the litteral sense. He did not go out of it his condo for two months. He didn't shower, didn't eat. I had to visit him three times a day to make sure he would at least eat something and I had to force him into the shower once a week. He was always so drunk it was impossible to have a conversation with him, he would just cry and refill his glass.", she paused as tears started welling up in her eyes. "About two months after his last visit to you, he called me in the middle of the night, he never did so I picked up and he was shit drunk, he was slurring, I did not understand everything, just that he had swallowed two boxes of the anti-depressants he was on and that he wanted to say goodbye.", she sobbed. 

Mike's heart sunk in his chest. He took her hand in his.

"He barely made it.", she sniffed, looking for a tissue in her handbag. "It was a close call. He spent a week in the hospital recovering and then that was it. He decided to get his life back on track. He met Ted shortly after and they started building the new firm. But what he went through has broken something inside of him and he hasn't been the same since. He had already experienced something similar with Ted when he was younger and he had managed to survive by avoiding attachement. Then he met you.", she said, blowing her nose. 

She was looking deep into his eyes.

"Mike. I'm here as his best friend, if that still means anything to him, let's say his closest friend. I need you to know what he went through because he'll never tell you. He still loves you so much...", she started crying again. "Please, Mike. I don't know what you want from him but I need you to understand that he can't go through it all over again. He's not strong enough, it would kill him this time. Leave him alone..."

Mike swallowed hard and looked away. He knew things couldn't have been easy for Harvey. But he didn't expect that kind of "not easy". He suddenly felt overwhelmed with guilt and sadness for the man he had loved. For the man he loved.

"I have to go. Thank you for listening to what I had to say.", she said standing up and smiling softly. "I'll show myself out."

He watched her as she walked away. She really hadn't changed a bit. Designer dress and pumps, fiery hair and fond eyes.

He stayed there, sitting on the couch head in his hands for a couple of minutes before eventually taking a deep breath and joining Marine and Eliott in the kitchen.

"Where is the lady ?", Eliott asked, already seizing his fork.

"She went to see her little boy.", Mike replied with a fond smile.

"Bon appétit !", Marine cheered when they were all seated.

 

The next morning, Mike woke up feeling preoccupied. He had not slept well and his legs hurt. But his little boy was already awake and he had meetings to conduct, he needed to get ou of bed. He yawned loudly.

"Morning Daddy !", Eliott said, jumping on the bed.

"Morning.", Mike replied, pressing a kiss on his cheek. "Why are you still in you pj's ?", Mike frowned. "Go get dressed baby, we're leaving in 20 minutes."

The little boy sighed and left the room.

Mike quickly showered and got dressed. 

When he came downstairs, Eliott was already waiting in the lobby, backpack in one hand, car keys in the other.

"Allez Papa !" (Come on Daddy !), he shouted.

"Yeah, yeah, let me grab my coat.", he replied, smiling at Marine.

They drove to the Lycée Français and, as usual, Mike didn't have time to kiss his son goodbye before he ran into the modern building screaming his school friends' names. He smiled and drove back right on time for his first meeting.

 

At 1 in the afternoon, a knock on the door interrupted a conference call he was having with Chinese investors. Mike rolled his eyes.

"Hang on a second.", he told his interlocutors.

Marine knew better than to interrupt his business meetings. It had to be important.

He walked to the door.

"What is it ?", he whispered.

"Donna's here. She says it's urgent.", the young woman whispered back.

Mike pursed his lips.

"Let her in, offer her a drink, I'll be right there. Thank you.", he said, closing the door.

 

Indeed, less than 5 minutes later, after having excused himself for a "family emergency", he joined Donna and Marine in the living room. 

"Donna.", he said, entering the room."What's going on ?"

"It's Harvey.", she said worriedly. "I know I told you to leave him alone but he hasn't shown up for work and does not answer his cell nor his home phone and I went to his place and I know he's there, I could hear it but he wouldn't open the door."

She started crying. 

"What do you need me to do ?", Mike asked.

"I don't know...", she replied. "I don't even know why I came here but he was so upset after lunch yesterday..."

"Where does he live ?", Mike asked. "Marine, please have Ella cancel my appointments for today.", he asked the young woman who nodded and left the room.

Donna sent him a text with Harvey's address.

"Let's go.", he said.

"No, you go. I need to be at the office.", she replied. "Please, let me know how he's doing."

"I will."

 

When he arrived at Harvey's building, he realized he didn't know which apartment to go to so he asked the concierge.

"Please, I'm here to visit Harvey Specter, could you tell me which floor it is ?", he asked the young man.

"Top floor.", he answered, not looking up from his computer.

"Thank you."

Mike took one of the two elevators and pressed the top floor button nervoulsy. Why would Harvey want let him in ? He wasn't sure it was a good idea but Donna had looked so desperate.

When he got to Harvey's floor, he knocked on the door.

"Harvey !", he called.

He heard the shattering of glass and knocked again.

"Harvey, I know you're here, open the door !"

He heard heavy footsteps approach the door.

"Harvey.", he said when he heard something touch the door.

"M-Mike ?"

"Yes, Harvey, it's me. Open the door for me please. Donna is worried sick."

"She's a bitch.", Harvey replied and Mike could hear him sit down against the door.

"No, she's not. Don't say that."

"And you're a son of bitch.", Harvey slurred.

Mike's heart clenched. He deserved that.

"You're a fucking... son of a bitch, Mike.", Harvey repeated.

Mike closed his eyes, forehead resting on the door.

"I know...", he replied. "Open the door for me please."

"Go away."

"No."

"Go the fuck away !", Harvey shouted.

"I'm not going anywhere until you open that door."

"I hate you !"

Mike sighed and sat down on the doormat. His legs were starting to wobble.

He heard a strangled noise. Harvey was puking.

"Shit !"

"Harvey, open the door.", Mike ordered, a little more firmly this time.

"Oh my God...", Harvey cried.

Mike's chest tightened so much he had to put an hand to it to ease the pain.

"Mike..."

"I'm here Harvey.", he replied in a small voice, unable to speak up.

"M-Mike, why... why did you leave me ?"

Tears started rolling down Mike's cheeks. He didn't know how to answer that. He had found a thousand reasons over the years but they all seemed so meaningless now. He didn't know anymore why he had cut the man he loved out of his life.

Harvey coughed and sniffed behind the door and Mike heard a key turning sound.

Suddenly the door opened and Mike quickly stood back up with the help of his cane.

Harvey was standing there naked, an empty glass in his right hand, his left hand holding the door. His eyes were dark with angriness and sadness. His chest and thighs were covered in puke as was the floor next to his feet.

Mike took a deep breath and cleared his throat.

"May I come in ?", he asked leisurely, trying to hide his discomfort.

He knew that if Harvey wasn't totally drunk, he would never have let Mike see him like this. He looked like a little boy, a fragile little boy who just woke up after a terrible nightmare.

Harvey opened the door wider, tumbling on his feet, and motionned for Mike to go in.

Carefully avoiding the pool of vomit, Mike entered the condo.

Saying that the place was a mess was an understatement. It looked like a tornado went through it and it reeked. Potato chips were scattered across the floor between the coffee table and the couch and untouched boxes of sushis and rolls were rotting on the counter. A bottle of scotch was broken in the kitchen and its content was drying on the floor. A couple of glasses were lying on the table and there was puke in front of the patio sliding doors.

"Want something to drink ?", Harvey asked matter-of-factly.

Mike laughed and turned around to face Harvey.

"No, thanks. Go shower.", he said, gesturing him towards the bedroom.

Harvey shrugged like a little boy and did as he was told.

Mike sent a text to Donna to let her know that he was in the apartment with Harvey and that he would tell her more later. He searched the kitchen for a trash bag and began collecting the evidences of Harvey's agitated night. He winced when he picked a used condom off the floor. 

15 minutes later, Harvey reappeared in the living room, wearing a plain white t-shirt and a pair of home pants.

He just stood there, his eyes looking at nothing in particular like he was waiting for Mike to tell him what to do next.

"You should get some sleep.", Mike said. "Let me check the bedroom first."

He walked to the bedroom and suppressed a scream at the sight.

The bedsheets were on the floor, pillows had been thrown all around the bed where an empty bottle of wine was dripping. There also were a dozen of used condoms on the bed and on the floor and two dildos on the bedside table.

"Someone had fun last night.", he said, holding a used condom in the air with the tip of his thumb and index finger.

"Yeah...", Harvey replied. "Theresa gives the best heads."

"That's, uh, too much information, Harvey."

Harvey chuckled.

"Jealous ?"

Mike rolled his eyes as he collected the other used condoms and put them in the trash bag.

Harvey sat on the bed.

"Go sit on the chair, please.", Mike said and Harvey did.

He trashed the bottle of wine and put the two dildos in the bathroom sink. He put the bedsheets in the laundry bag and the pillows back on the bed. He could not change the bedsheets by himself, his legs were already killing him, and when he looked at Harvey to ask for help, the other man's eyes were already half shut.

He sighed and retrieved a blanket from the dressing room.

"Go to bed, Harvey.", he ordered, patting the bed.

"Hummm..." Harvey clumsily climbed onto the bed and buried his face in a pillow.

Mike threw the blanket over his half asleep body.

"Sleep tight.", he said, adjusting the blanket over Harvey's feet.

Harvey grabbed his wrist.

"Stay with me, please.", he mumbled, his eyes still closed.

Mike took off his shoes and climbed onto the bed next to him. Harvey pulled him closer and nuzzled his neck.

"You're not a son of a bitch...", he whispered. "Sorry."

Mike swallowed.

"Yes I am. I'm sorry, Harvey.", he said, fighting the tears.

Feeling the oh so familiar warmth of Harvey's body made him shiver.

He closed his eyes. He would wait for him to be sound asleep and then he would go back to cleaning the living room.


	22. The Family

Harvey woke up to the sound of a phone ringing. _Not my ringtone._

His head was pounding and he winced as he tried to roll over to take a look at the clock. There was a weight on his chest. _Theresa._ Why was she still here ? He opened his eyes and he saw blond spiky hair. _Mike ?_

The young man was snoring and drolling. Harvey rubbed his eyes, trying to remember how Mike had ended up on his bed. They were both fully dressed. Why was there a blanket on the bed instead of the usual silk bed sheets ? 

The phone kept on ringing, hammering in Harvey's heavy head.

"Mike...", he rasped. "Mike, your phone..."

"Hummm..."

He patted Mike's head gently.

"Mike, please, pick it up."

Mike sighed and tilted his head back. His eyes met Harvey's.

"Shit !", he screamed, sitting up. "I fell asleep !"

Harvey winced at the screaming. Mike stood up and picked his phone from the bedside table.

"Marine." "Oui, je suis désolé." (Yeah, I'm sorry.) "Non, non, je dormais, ce n'est pas grave." (No, no, I was sleeping, it's ok.) "Je serai à la maison dans, uh, 30 minutes. Encore désolé." (I'll be home in 30 minutes. Sorry again.)

"What are you doing here, Mike ?", Harvey asked, his eyes still trying to adjust to the late afternoon lights.

Mike scratched his head and grabbed his shoes.

"You don't remember ? At all ?", he asked.

Harvey closed his eyes and tried to remember. He had called Theresa and they had had amazing sex. Then... He remembered her leaving with a huge stack of dollar bills. He remembered crying and puking. 

"No.", he replied after a minute.

"Well, Donna called me because she was worried about you. You did not show up for work and you wouldn't answer your phone or open the door so she came to my house and I came here. Considering what I found when you finally agreed to open the door, it's not really surprising that you don't remember, actually.", he said, tying up his shoelace.

Harvey winced and rubbed his face.

"That bad ?", he asked with a sheepish look.

Mike smiled. 

"You have no idea. And I'm not done cleaning up. I was supposed to put you to bed, finish cleaning and go but you, uh, you... you asked me to stay with you."

Harvey raised an eyebrow.

"I'll clean the rest myself. Thank you.", he replied, clearing his throat.

Mike stood up, seized his cane and phone and walked to the door.

"Harvey.", he said in a serious tone. "Look, I know you probably won't want to but I still think it'd be a good idea... Why don't you come stay at my place for a few days ? It's a big house, you'd have all the space you need. And while you're away, your cleaning lady can try to put your apartment back in its original state ?", he smiled.

Harvey swallowed. What the hell was going on ? 

"Just for a few days.", Mike insisted.

"I'll think about it.", Harvey replied. 

"Here.", Mike said, taking a business card our of his wallet. "Here's my address. Come by anytime. Again, you'll have your space. You won't even see us."

 _Us ? Oh yeah, Mike has a son_.

"Thank you.", Harvey said, looking at the card.

"See you later ?", Mike asked.

"Hum."

When he heard the front door close, Harvey exhaled heavily. 

He stood up and went to use the bathroom. When he saw the two dildos swimming with soap in the partially filled sink, he understood what Mike had meant. His cheeks reddened and he sighed.

The living room wasn't so bad. There was a trash bag full of broken glass, empty bottles and, _oh fuck_ , used condoms sitting next to the kitchen counter. There were crumbs all over the carpet and scotch on the kitchen floor. This shouldn't take too long to clean up. 

The room smelled of sweat and something else disgusting so Harvey walked to the sliding doors and stepped into a large pool of puke.

"Fuck !", he exclaimed as bile rose up his throat.

It bothered him that he did not remember what had happened. What state he was in when Mike had shown up. _“When you finally agreed to open the door.”_ , Mike had said. So he hadn’t wanted to let him in and Mike had convinced him. He had no idea what Mike had seen, what he had told him.

He called his cleaning lady and told her he had hosted a huge party and that his place needed a good clean up.

 _Huge party, my ass_. He had drunk his weight in scotch, again, and acted stupidly, again. He couldn't stay here.

He called Donna, left her a message saying he would drop by the office.

He took a shower, dressed up in a suit and gathered a couple of clothes and his toiletries into a duffle bag. He wrapped two suits and shirts into a garment bag and grabbed his car keys. 

When he got to the door, he saw the puke.

"God.", he muttered, opening the door and jumping over the filthy pool.

 

When he came to work, he was welcomed by a hug and a whispered “Sorry” from Donna. There had was a steaming cup of tea on his desk and his bottle of scotch had disappeared from its usual spot on the tray. He would address that problem later. It seemed that things had gotten back to normal with Donna despite their exchange of words of the previous day and he wasn’t ready to reheat the fire yet.

 

He arrived at Mike’s place much later that day.

The place was huge. 6-story building with an impressive front porch.

This was a bad idea. A really bad idea. He couldn’t explain why he was here. Why he had packed up his stuff after Mike had left, why something in his guts felt right when it should have felt wrong.

Harvey rang the doorbell.

A young woman opened the door.

“Hi, is Mike here ?”, he asked.

“Yes, who is asking for him ?”, the young woman asked with a slight accent.

Harvey guessed it was a French accent since he had heard Mike speak French earlier.

“Harvey Specter.”

“Hold on a minute, please.”

And she walked away, leaving the door open.

The lobby was luxurious and Harvey could see a huge set of red-carpeted stairs and an elevator.

Then he saw Mike approach with a smile.

“Harvey, come in.”, he said.

Harvey entered the town house and was awed by the imposing surroundings. High ceilings, double doors, huge paintings on the wall and soft carpet were among the things that got his attention before he felt a hand on his shoulder.

“I’m glad you came.”, Mike said softly.

Harvey smiled back.

“Who is it, Daddy ?”

Harvey turned around. A little blond boy with huge blue eyes and pink lips was staring at him.

“Eliott, this is Harvey.”, Mike said, taking his son’s hand.

“Hi, Harbey.”

“It’s Harvey, but it’s ok.”, Harvey chuckled.

He looked so much like Mike.

“Ok, Eliott, now go to your room and play while I finish making dinner.”, Mike said. “No elevator for you, stairs.”, he added when the little boy pushed on the elevator button.

“Let me show you to your room.”, he said to Harvey, stepping into the elevator. “Elevator’s for handicapped people and guests.”, he grinned, pressing the third floor button.

Harvey managed a smile. It felt so strange to be here.

“Here”, Mike said, opening the door to a big room that looked like a 5-star hotel suite. “Bathroom’s here.”, he gestured towards a closed door.

“Thank you.”

“We’re having dinner in 30 minutes.”, Mike said, leaving the room. “Like I said, don’t mind us, ok ? If you’re not hungry of if you would rather order in or eat out or whatever, it’s ok. But we’ll gladly have dinner with you. Just make yourself at home, alright ?”

“Alright. Thank you.”, Harvey replied.

When Mike closed the door, Harvey let out a breath he hadn’t known he had been holding and dropped his bag on the floor. He opened the closet and hung the garment bag on the rack.

He took a long shower and changed into more comfortable clothes. _Now what ?_

He sat down on the bed and thought about it for a minute. 5 years had passed. Mike felt foreign but at the same time so familiar. His voice, his soft voice and his pretty eyes. He tried to remember their last words, 5 years ago, right before all hell broke loose, before that one fateful night. He had wanted to die. Badly. It had seemed like the only way out of his constant misery.

He shook the thought. He had implicitly accepted Mike’s peace offering by coming here, he shouldn’t think about the past.

 

His stomach growled and he contemplated having dinner with Mike and Eliott ( _and that young lady ?_ ) for a moment. He wanted to have dinner with them but he couldn’t help but feel awkward by the domesticity of it.

He finally stood up and went down the stairs. Once in the lobby, he didn’t know which way to go so he followed the delicious smell.

In the kitchen, Mike was stirring the content of a frying pan and humming to a song playing in the background.

“Smells good.”, Harvey said.

Mike jumped, almost dropping the wooden spoon.

“Oh my God, Harvey, you scared the shit out of me !”

Harvey smiled.

“What are you cooking ?”

“Hum, stir fry veggies.”, Mike replied, turning down the gas under the frying pan. “Eliott had fries for lunch and he probably thinks I don’t know so I expect a little reticence.”, he smiled, looking up at Harvey.

The young lady came in the kitchen holding place mats and plates.

“Oh, I’m sorry I did not make the introductions !”, Mike exclaimed. “Harvey, this is Marine. She’s from Paris and she’s living with us for a year. She takes care of Eliott when I’m working and does a thing or two around the house.” Harvey nodded with a smile. The young lady, _Marine_ , blushed and looked down. “Marine, this is Harvey, one of my dearest friends.”

Harvey tried to not look too startled by Mike’s words as he shook hands with Marine.

Eliott stumbled into the kitchen, a stuffed bear under his arms.

“No toys in the kitchen, young man.”, Mike said, helping Marine lay the table.

Eliott pouted and threw the stuffed bear through the door. Mike shot him a look.

“What are we having for dinner ? Is Harbey staying with us ? Did he get to choose his room ?”, the little boy asked, taking a seat around the table.

“One question at a time. We’re having vegetables for dinner and I don’t want to hear any complaint.”, Mike answered, motioning Marine and Harvey to their seats. “Yes, _Harvey_ is staying with us tonight and he can stay longer if he wants to. And no, he didn’t get to choose his room but I gave him the biggest one.”

The little boy grinned at Harvey while tying his napkin under his chin.

“My room is nice too, you know ? Would you like to see it ?”, he asked.

“Hum, sure.”, Harvey replied.

“I’ll give you a proper tour after dinner if you want to.”, Mike said, emptying the frying pan into the four plates.

“You know what, Harbey ? We have a gym and a movie theatre !”, Eliott exclaimed, stuffing his mouth.

Harvey smiled.

“Oh you do ?”

“Yes, Daddy needs to exercise every day because if he doesn't he will end up in a wheelchair.”, Eliott replied with a sad look.

Harvey looked at Mike. He was smiling fondly at his son.

“And you’re the best coach.”, he said, stroking his cheek.

The little boy nodded and smiled with his mouth full.

“Harbey ?”, he asked when he had swallowed.

“Stop pestering him with your questions, Eliott. He’s our guest.”, Mike scolded.

“It’s ok.”, Harvey said, smiling at the little boy whose face had become red. “What do you want to know ?”

“You’re old, right ?”, he asked innocently.

Harvey and Marine burst out laughing. Mike put his fork down and it clanked loudly against his plate. He looked at his son pointedly yet clearly suppressing a laugh.

“And why would you think that ?”, Harvey asked when he was done laughing.

Eliott looked at his father as if he didn’t know if he should take this conversation any further.

“You can answer him.”, Mike said, visibly amused by the situation.

“Hum, because uh… Your face looks old.”, the little boy replied tentatively.

“Well, you’re very a discerning little boy, I am actually old.”, Harvey smiled.

Eliott looked at his father with a proud grin.

Mike laughed and shook his head.

“Now eat and let us eat in peace please.”, he told his son.

The little boy made a zipping gesture across his lips and smiled, probably realizing he could not put food in his mouth if it was zipped.

The rest of the dinner went well, Mike asked Marine about Eliott’s day at school, Eliott told a couple of jokes he had learned that day and Harvey stayed silent, a part of him enjoying the warmth and simplicity of their interactions, another part feeling a little out of place.

 

After dinner, Mike asked Marine if she could put their plates away while he gave Harvey a quick tour of the house and he sent Eliott to the bathroom to brush his teeth.

“Marine will check up one you when she’s done in the kitchen so you better behave.”, Mike gently threatened.

“So.”, he said to Harvey. “Obviously, this is the kitchen. Here you have the dining room that we never use unless we have a lot of guests. Here’s the living room and here is the conference room. Down the corridor over there, there’s a door that leads to the basement where you will find a gym and _yes_ , a movie theatre.”, he smiled as he stopped in front of the elevator. “Floors 1, 2 and 3 basically consist in suites. Let’s move up directly to the fourth floor.”

When the elevator reached the fourth floor, Eliott was waiting for them, toothbrush stuck in his little teeth, toothpaste dripping from his mouth.

“Yesh, Harbey, come shee my room !”, he screamed.

“In the bathroom, young man, now !”, Mike ordered, gesturing towards the door that said ELIOTT in cute wooden letters.

“Obviously, this is Eliott’s room.”, he smiled. “Here’s mine.”, he said, walking towards a closed door.

“Here’s my office.”, he opened a door and stepped in.

“Nice !”, Harvey whistled.

“Yeah, quiet and peaceful. Well, except when the monster’s home.”

He walked back to the elevator.

“On the 5th floor are Marine’s room, a playroom and a library. Let’s go to the 6th floor, my favorite floor.”, he said, pushing the top button.

As soon as they reached the top floor, Harvey understood why it was Mike’s favorite. The elevator opened directly into a huge patio offering an outdoor lounge, a barbecue, a dining area, a sunbathing area and a Jacuzzi.

Mike turned on the lights and a thousand little light bulbs started flicking around the handrail.

“Wow.” Harvey said.

Mike grinned.

“It’s awesome, right ?”

Harvey nodded.

“We could come back up here when Eliott’s put to bed, what do you think ?”, Mike asked, turning off the lights.

“Yeah, sure.”

“I mean, we don’t have to, maybe you’re tired…”

“No it’s ok, I could use a quiet moment after a busy day.”, Harvey replied, suddenly realizing what his answer could have implied. “Sorry, it came out wrong, I didn’t mean that for Eliott, he’s really cute.”

Mike smiled.

“It’s ok. I know he can be a handful.”

He pressed the 4th floor button.

Once again, Eliott was waiting for them.

“Come see my room, Harbey !”, he squealed, taking Harvey’s hand and dragging him in his bedroom.

“This is my Spiderman bed, it’s cool, right ?”

“Very cool.”, Harvey replied, making the little boy beam with pride.

Mike was watching them with a smile, leaning against the doorframe.

“These are my books. My father has taught me how to read.”

Eliott sat down on his knees and Harvey followed, squatting down next to him.

“That’s impressive…”, Harvey said, his fingers tracing the edges of the books. “Do you also remember everything you read ?”

The little boy looked at him with wide eyes.

“Ssshhh ! It’s a secret ! I can’t tell anyone at school.”, the little boy whispered, his index finger pressed to his lips.

“Why is that ?”, Harvey asked even though he knew the answer.

“Because Daddy says that the other kids will make fun of me. He says we have to wait until I’m 8.”

Harvey looked up at Mike and smiled gently.

“Alright now, monster, let’s get you to bed. Say Goodnight to Harvey.”, Mike said.

“Goodnight Harbey !”, the little boy singsonged. “I hope you stay longer. I like you better than Pierre.”

Harvey raised an eyebrow and cocked his head with an amused grin.

“French teacher, uh ?”, he whispered, leaving the room.

 

Mike joined him on the roof a half hour later.

“So, Pierre ?”, Harvey asked.

Mike rolled his eyes.

“Kids and their unfiltered mouth…”, he sighed. “Pierre and I dated for 2 years right after Eliott was born. He couldn’t possibly remember him, I have no idea why he said that.”

“And he chose you to be his best man ?”

“Yeah, we remained friends. We were better as friends.”

“You have a strange tendency to remain friends with all of your exes…”, Harvey stated.

“It’s not always possible.”, Mike said and he paused, looking deep into his eyes.

Harvey looked away.

“Thank you for having me, Mike. Sorry about this morning…”, he said, looking down. “I don’t remember everything and I hope I didn’t say anything, uh,… inappropriate or…”, he stuttered. “Thank you.”

Mike took his hand in his.

“Don’t thank me.”, he said, sitting up and lifting Harvey’s chin. “You’re here. That’s enough thank you for me.”

Mike slowly moved closer to Harvey until their nose were practically touching.

“I should get some sleep.”, Harvey said, jumping back on his feet. “Goodnight.”

He rushed back to his room and almost slammed the door close.

He needed a drink.

Suddenly he felt his skin burn and his hands started shaking. He clenched his fists and sat on the bed.

He should go to sleep. He would go back to his place tomorrow. This was too much.

He fell asleep an hour later, trying to calm down by remembering Mike’s breath on his mouth when they had been so close to kissing on the patio.

 


	23. The Old Times

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to all of you who read and comment my story. I'm having a hard time figuring out where to take our beloved Harvey and Mike but I hope you like how this new chapter turns out.  
> I'd like to thank Dianne60807, makinitwork, Sage16, naias, icis182, tmelange, Sgakaz, LenkaIli, jungle_moon and RunawayFoutainPen for their wonderful, always so nice and insightful comments.  
> You guys keep me going.  
> All of you reading, giving kudos or commenting : LOVE YOUUUU !

As Harvey was going down the stairs to leave for work (and for good, his bag was packed and rested on the bed, he wanted to talk to Mike before leaving with his stuff), he overheard a conversation between Mike and Eliott who were putting on their coat in the lobby. He stopped and listened.

"For the 100th time, no, Harvey's not driving you to school. Stop asking me, jeez !"

"But whyyy, Daddy ?"

"Because he's got a job and places to be. He's not your babysitter, he's our guest."

"But you're not my babysitter and you're taking me to school..."

"I'm your father."

"Pleaaasse, let me ask him ! I'm sure he'll say yes !"

"No. And please stop begging."

"Je vais lui demander quand Papa sera parti chercher ses clés." (I'm going to ask him when Daddy's gone to get the car keys)

Eliott was probably talking to Marine and Harvey did not understand what the little boy had said.

"No you're not !", Mike shouted.

Harvey went down the last set of stairs.

"Good morning.", he said with a smile.

Eliott was biting his lower lip, visibly trying to figure out if he should ask or not.

"Morning.", Mike replied and smiled back. "I'm going to go grab my keys.", he added, shooting a look at Eliott.

"What's your job ?", the little boy asked.

"I'm a lawyer.", Harvey replied, putting on his coat.

"Daddy's a lawyer too. He does not work as a lawyer but he could !"

"I know.", Harvey chuckled.

"Harbey, can you drive me to school ?", Eliott finally dared to ask.

Marine giggled.

"What did I tell you ?", Mike scolded, reappearing in the lobby. "Let's go. And don't think it will go unpunished."

"It's ok.", Harvey said. "Ray's in front of the building, I can drive you both if you want. I'll drive you back here afterward."

Mike seemed to think about it for a second.

"Alright.", he sighed. "Thank you."

Eliott was grinning from ear to ear.

"What do you say, Eliott ? If you're going to be a pain, at least be a polite one !"

"Thank you Harbey !", he screamed.

Harvey chuckled as they stepped out of the house.

"Morning Harvey.", Ray said, opening the car door. "Oh. Morning M. Ross, nice meeting you again."

"Morning Ray.", Mike smiled. "Please call me Mike. This is Eliott, my son. Eliott, say hello to Ray."

"Hello Ray.", the little boy said, hiding behind his father's legs.

"So where are we going ?", Ray asked, climing in the driver's seat.

"Lycée Français. It's only 2 blocks away but I try to avoid walking as much as possible.", Mike replied, buckling Eliott's seatbelt. 

"Lycée Français it is.", Ray singsonged.

They dropped Eliott who, for once, took his time to say goodbye, pulling a dumbstruck Harvey into a tight hug.

"See you after school, Harbey !", he waved.

"He's cute.", Harvey smiled.

"So, Mike.", Ray began. "How have you been ? How long has it been ?"

 _Shit_. The talk with Mike would have to wait.

"It's been a little over 5 years. I've been good, you ? How are your daughters ?"

"They're doing great. My eldest is just starting law school, at Columbia."

"You must be really proud !"

"I am.", Ray replied, pulling up in front of Mike's porch. "There you are."

"Thank you, Harvey. And thank you Ray, it's been a pleasure seeing you. Have a great day."

Harvey waved and nodded.

 

When he arrived at Specter Phillips, Ted was waiting in his office.

"Hey Ted.", Harvey said, taking off his coat.

"How are you ?", he asked with a genuine smile.

Harvey knew this wasn't the usual "how are you".

"I'm feeling better, thank you."

"Pierre told me you spent the night at Mike's ?"

Harvey rolled his eyes.

"Yes, I did. Don't ask me how I ended up there though, I have no idea."

Ted's eyes narrowed.

"Not that kind of _no idea_ , don't worry.", he said, rolling his eyes dramatically. "Mike offered me to stay over for a few days yesterday and I don't know why but I took the offer. But I'm going to get my stuff back later and go back to my place."

"Why ?", Ted asked, sipping on his cup of coffee.

"I don't know, Ted... It feels weird.", Harvey replied, lifting the lid of his computer and turning it on.

"The bad kind of weird ?"

"No, actually, the good kind. His boy is cute and... we had a very nice evening yesterday."

"Then why would you want to leave today ?"

"You know what happened 5 years ago, Ted.", Harvey replied sharply. "I still feel... _something_ when we're in the same room. It's not good."

"He's trying to help you Harvey, let him.", Ted said, standing up. "Maybe he feels _something_ too when he's with you.", he smirked.

"I hope not. Look how it ended up the last time we felt _something_.", Harvey deadpanned.

"Seriously, Harvey. I've known you forever. We've had our ups and downs and I consider you my best friend. I saw what Mike put you through but I saw the way you looked at him at our wedding.", he said, opening the glass door. "I want you to be happy, Harvey. Just go with the flow."

Harvey pursed his lips.

"Oh, and that bottle of scotch that's missing ? It's in my office. I asked your house keeper to search your place for every single bottle of alcohol and to trash them all."

"What the,-"

"I don't want to hear it, Harvey. I'm doing this as your best friend. You'll thank me later."

And with that Ted left his office.

Harvey closed his eyes and took a deep breath. When he opened them up, Donna was standing behind his door with a sad look on her face.

He managed a timid smile and he saw her gulp before she smiled back and went back to her desk.

He hated that everybody seemed to worry about him. 

Mike was the only one acting normally around him. Sure, he was the perfect host but he treated him like he would any other guest.

His phone rang, sending him back to reality. He straightened himself and cleared his throat.

"Harvey Specter."

 

 

After a lunch meeting and a court appointment that went surprisingly well, Harvey went back to his office.

He was feeling a little shaky. He had drunk 7 coffees today and still had a couple of briefs to proof, so he was about to ask Donna if he could get him a decaf when his phone blipped.

"Eliott asks if you're having dinner with us."

He typed a quick reply.

"Sorry, not done yet. Probably won't be back before he goes to bed."

"Ok ! Hang in there !", Mike replied shortly after.

 

Indeed, Harvey arrived at Mike's after 9. He didn't want to ring the bell, afraid that it would wake Eliott up, so he texted Mike to tell him he was outside.

Mike arrived 5 minutes later and opened the door with a smile.

"Sorry.", he said lifting up the cane. "I can't run for the door anymore."

"It's ok, thank you.", Harvey replied, following him inside.

"Are you hungry ?", Mike asked. "Marine left you a piece of meat pie in the oven, I can reheat it."

"I'll do it, don't worry. Thank you."

"No, it's ok, I'm done with work, I'll have some ice cream.", Mike replied, switching the kitchen lights on.

 

Harvey ate the meat pie and even had some ice cream. Mike and him chatted about work, Eliott's eidetic memory, Eliott's mother and the crazy fact that Ray remembered Mike when he had only seen him once. Harvey didn’t tell him that Ray knew all about what happened.

"Want a cup of coffee on the roof ?", Mike asked, yawning.

"Do you have decaf ?"

"Yep."

They set a small tray with the two cups of coffee and took the elevator up to the 6th floor.

Once on the roof, they settled on the comfortable outdoor couch and Mike produced a pack of cigarettes and a lighter from his pocket.

"Want one ?", he asked.

"Nah, I quit smoking two years ago.", Harvey replied. "Do you still smoke pot ?"

"God no ! I haven't smoked pot since the accident. I opened a rehab center in Montana for drug addicts. I quit that kind of stuff."

"Good.", Harvey said, sipping his cup.

Mike took a big puff on his cigarette.

"You didn't want to come back tonight, did you ?", he asked, exhaling a thick cloud of smoke.

"No. But Ted made me change my mind."

Mike raised an eyebrow.

"How ?"

"Well, he said something about going with the flow, whatever that means, and I didn't feel like going back to my place just yet and since,-"

Mike’s lips on his cut him. He smelled like tobacco and coffee and his eyes were closed. Soon, his hands were cupping Harvey's face and his lips were parting, clearly waiting for Harvey to either break or deepen the kiss. The softness of his lips on his and the warmth of his touch made Harvey shiver and he opened his mouth in response. Mike tentatively liked his lips before crushing their mouth together, his tongue meeting Harvey's.

It felt good. It felt familiar. It felt right.

Another shiver ran down his spine and Harvey couldn't help but moan softly into the kiss. Mike's hand wandered from his face to the back of his head and his fingers tug gently on his hair.

He felt Mike shift beside him and then he was straddling him, allowing the kiss to deepen even more. 

They were both panting when they broke the kiss for air, their foreheads pressed together.

"Harvey...", Mike whispered, rubbing his erection against Harvey's growing bulge.

They knew each other’s body like their own. Under Harvey’s roaming hands, Mike’s body was trembling. He slid a hand under Mike’s shirt and stroke his back up and down until he felt the scar, right above his sacrum. His gently rubbed his fingers over it and closed his eyes.

Mike kissed his eyelids, whispering his name and words he could not really understand. Then he kissed his mouth again, this time less desperately.

Harvey cupped his ass and pulled him closer, making him moan beautifully as their rock hard erections met again.

Mike slid a hand between them and unzipped Harvey's suit pants.

"Fuck, Mike.", Harvey groaned.

Mike stroke his cock through his underwear and Harvey could feel precome leaking and probably ruining his pants.

He buried his hand in the crook of Mike's neck as he tried to buck his hips to meet Mike's hand. He smelled like Mike, like the old Mike, like the man that fucked up his life 5 years ago. He was torn between his burning desire for him and the endless stream of sad memories playing in his mind.

"Let's go to my room.", Mike ordered, breathlessly.

Harvey took a deep breath. _Go with the flow_ , he repeated in his mind like a mantra while following Mike into the elevator. 

Mike pressed the button to the 4th floor and pushed him against the wall, stealing a wet kiss before the cabin opened on Mike's floor.

He took Harvey's hand and dragged him into his bedroom. He couldn't run with the cane but he sure could walk fast if he needed to.

"Get naked, Hunky.", he said with a smile while unbuttoning his shirt. "And don't play shy. Last time I saw you naked, you were covered in puke."

"Oh God. What else to I need to know ?", Harvey asked, taking his shoes off.

"We'll talk about that later. Right now I want you to fuck me into oblivion.", Mike replied, smirking.

Harvey quickly discarded his clothes and couldn't help but feel shy when he was finally naked. Considering the number of women that visited his bed each month, he knew he shouldn't have to worry about his appearance. And he worked hard for that. But he had not been with a man since Mike (well, yes, there had been Ted, but he didn't remember that night and that was only once). 

When Mike was done with undressing, Harvey smiled mischievously. 

"Those workout sessions do wonders. You look spectacularly sexy.", he said, walking to the bed where Mike was sitting.

Mike smirked and grabbed Harvey's hips.

"And you look absolutely perfect, Hunky.", he whispered, taking Harvey's cock in his mouth.

All the memories came back at once. The first blow job in the Hamptons, the desperate fuck in the kitchen after Grammy's death, and the last time they kissed, on Mike's bed at the center. It felt like yesterday and like a century ago at the same time. 

Harvey groaned when he felt the head of his cock pound the back of Mike's mouth. 

He looked down at him who was eagerly sucking on his balls while stroking his cock at a steady pace.

"Lie down.", Harvey ordered. 

Mike moved farther on the bed and laid down, spreading his legs and pumping his own cock.

Harvey settled between his legs and kissed him, tasting his precome on Mike's hot tongue and swollen lips.

"Hold on a second.", Mike whispered, sitting back up. "It's been a while, I have to go get what we need in the bathroom."

Harvey sat on the bed and watched as Mike limped his way to the en suite bathroom and for the first time he saw the scar at the small of his back. His stomach clenched a little bit and he cleared his throat.

Mike quickly came back into the room, hands holding the lube and condom.

"Where were we ?", he said, kissing Harvey, visibly aware of the older man’s inner battle.

Harvey smiled into the kiss and they moved back to their earlier position.

Grabbing the lube, Harvey licked and bit Mike's nipples, making him whimper. 

He put a generous amount of it on his fingers and started teasing the tight rim of his hole.

Mike spread his legs wider bucked his hips.

Harvey inserted a finger while pressing kisses on Mike's stomach and thighs.

"Fuck, it feels good.", Mike whispered, his eyes squeezed shut and his toes curling.

Slowly, Harvey pushed another finger inside him and crooked his fingers to open him.

"Aaah...", Mike moaned, arching his back.

He pushed on Harvey's fingers, which brushed against the sensitive spot of his prostate.

"God !", he cried.

"Ssshhh.", Harvey chuckled. "There's a little boy sleeping right next-door."

Mike didn't seem to care, he just kept on moaning loudly.

"Harvey...", he pleaded, pushing on his fingers.

Harvey pulled them out and quickly rolled the condom onto his throbbing cock.

He settled between Mike's legs and placed the head at Mike's entrance.

"Harvey, please."

Harvey took a deep breath and pushed inside very slowly. Mike felt so tight around him, his hole already clenching, he could come right here right now. He grabbed the base of his cock and pressed his fingers around it. 

He waited for a couple of seconds for Mike to adjust and when the young man started pushing against his cock, Harvey began to thrust in and out, deep into him.

"You feel so good...", he rasped, capturing Mike's mouth with his lips.

He slid a hand between their sweaty bodies and grabbed his leaking and twitching cock.

"Oh God, Harvey !", Mike whimpered, pushing harder against him.

Harvey was close so he stroke Mike faster, matching the rhythm of his thrusts. That sent the young man over the edge and he came in his hand in a long sexy moan.

Harvey came right after, his cock spilling come into Mike's clenching ass.

He pressed a kiss on Mike's forehead. He didn't know what to say and Mike didn't seem to know either. He just looked up at Harvey and smiled.

They allowed themselves a couple of minutes to catch their breath and cuddle.

“Why did you not call me ? In 5 years ?”, Harvey asked, his arms tightly folded around Mike.

He felt Mike take a deep breath. He ran a hand through his air and exhaled nosily.

“I regretted sending you away the second I did it.”, he began. “I wanted you. I loved you, I… I wanted to marry you. But I was ashamed and only 50% convinced that I would walk again. I… I chose to break up with you before you could. I knew you would. Maybe not then, but you would have left me at some point. Or you would have stayed out of pity and that’s worse…”, he sighed. “I was ashamed of myself. For cutting you out so many times and, even worse, right after you asked me to marry you. For being handicapped, for needing constant care. I was supposed to be that young successful businessman but what was left of me after the accident was a fucking broken body. I couldn’t stand myself…”

Mike untangled himself from Harvey and sit up on the bed.

“I should have tried to call you. I should have. But I was so afraid you’d turn me down or tell me to get lost. I was afraid I’d find out that you were married or in a happy relationship… You didn’t call me and cut out all of my friends so I figured you had moved on. It’s killed me everyday until Pierre told me he was going to marry Ted Phillips. I googled him and found out about your new firm… I was so happy for you.”, he smiled. “Then I saw you at the wedding and you took my breath away. Again. Just like the first time I saw you stepping out of your car at the airport.”

Harvey took a long and deep breath. He bit the inside of his mouth and managed a small smile back.

“I’m sorry Harvey. I’m so sorry.”, Mike said, rubbing his trembling hands together. “I know that no amount of apologies will ever make up for what I did to you but I need you to know that I’m sorry.”

"I should go back to my room, I, uh...", Harvey said, leaving the bed and putting his shirt and pants back on. “Have a goodnight, Mike.”

“Goodnight.”, Mike replied in a small voice.


	24. The Challenge

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, and I think I'll never say it enough : THANK YOU so so much for the outpourring support ! Here's a new chapter. Hope you like it !

Harvey didn’t have any pressing matter and he was only due in court at 11 so he had set his alarm at 9. It almost felt like a weekend.

He showered and shaved and put on his armor and went down the stairs hoping for two things : that there would be fresh coffee in the pot and that Mike and Eliott would be gone. He didn’t want to face Mike yet, he needed more time to process what had happened the night before.

When he entered the kitchen, Eliott was drawing on the table.

“Harbey !”, he squealed.

Harvey smiled and ruffled his hair affectionately.

“You’re not at school ?”, he asked, pouring himself a cup of coffee. At least one of his two whishes was granted.

“Nope, Wednesday.”, the little boy replied.

“What about Wednesday ?”

“No school on Wednesday !”

“Oh, ok.”

Harvey sat down next to him.

“Do you have kids Harbey ? Are you married ?”

Harvey smiled.

“No I don’t have kids and I’m not married.”, he replied, sipping his coffee.

“Why not ?”

“Why not what ?”

“You don’t like kids ? Why don’t you have kids ?”

“Hum, that’s a good question. Guess I never found the right mother.”, he replied, wondering what the little boy knew about his conception.

“Daddy cannot fall in love with women.”, Eliott said, lifting his head up from his drawing.

Harvey smiled.  _Cute_.

“That’s true, Harbey ! He told me so !”

“I believe you.”, he replied, chuckling.

“You know what he did ? When I was tiny tiny tiny…“, the little boy said pressing his thumb and index fingers together. “…Daddy gave me to a nice lady and he asked her to keep me in her belly until I was big enough and then she took me out of her belly because I was too big and she gave me back to him.”

Harvey laughed as Marine entered the room. She smiled at him and Harvey smiled back.

“That’s a nice story.”

“You could do that too, you know Harbey ?”

“I could but I don’t know any nice lady who could keep my tiny tiny tiny baby.”

“Marine could !”, Eliott screamed. “Marine, could you keep Harbey’s baby ?”

Marine’s cheeks were burning.

“You don’t just choose someone like that, Eliott.”, Harvey laughed again. “Marine is really young, she’ll find a nice man in due time.”

Eliott shrugged and smiled at Marine.

“Je monte dans la salle de jeux, Eliott. Tu peux me rejoindre quand Harvey sera parti ?” (I’ll be in the playroom, Eliott. Meet me there when Harvey’s gone.)

“Ok.”, Eliott replied. “She told me she wanted to keep your baby”, he added when Marine had left the room.

“I’m sure she didn’t say that.”, Harvey smiled.

“I swear !”, the little boy exclaimed.

“You know you shouldn’t swear.”, Harvey said in a serious tone. “Even more when it’s a lie.”

Eliott blushed and pursed his lips.

“Sorry.”, he whispered.

They both turned their heads toward the door when they heard someone yelling.

“It’s Daddy, he screams aaalll the time when he’s working.”, Eliott said, totally unimpressed, as if it did indeed happen all the time.

They heard a door slam and Mike stormed in the kitchen.

“Oh, hi.”, he said with a soft smile, his cheeks red with anger.

“Is everything alright ?”, Harvey asked tentatively.

“Yeah, some f…, I mean some  _guy_ is trying to steal our pattern, claiming he came up with the idea 3 years ago.”, he replied, pouring himself a cup of coffee.

“Is he suing you ?”

“Yeah. My lawyer just called me, he didn’t manage to make him drop the claim.”

“Would you like me to check the files, see if I find something ?”

“Thank you but I’ve spent 4 whole days looking at his claim and evidences and I couldn’t find anything. I have no idea how he did it, because I know he’s lying, but on paper his claim is fucking legitimate.”

Eliott frowned and shot a warning look to his Dad whispering “bad bad word.”.

“If you’re sure he’s lying, there has to be something that you missed.”, he said, standing up, his hand ruffling Eliott’s soft blond hair.

Mike scoffed.

“Fine, hot shot. Primary hearing’s this Friday. Let’s see if you can find something by then.”, he smiled mischievously.

“Challenge accepted.”, Harvey smirked. “Have your lawyer call me and send me every document related to the case. I’ll be in court until 2 so make sure everything gets to the firm before I come back.”

“Yes Sir !”, Mike exclaimed, raising his right hand to his forehead as though in salute.

“Gotta go now.”

“Bye Harbey !”, Eliott exclaimed opening his arms.

Harvey pulled him into a short hug and smiled.

“Have a good day.”, Mike said. “And thanks for offering to take a look at my case. Hopefully, New York’s best closer can sort this out.”

“Oh I didn’t offer shit.”, Harvey laughed teasingly. “I charge 2 000 dollars an hour. Donna will send you the bill when I win this.”

“Harbey, it’s a bad word.”

“I know, sweetheart, sorry about that.”, Harvey apologized and walk to the door.

Mike smiled and waved him goodbye.    

 

When Harvey got back to his office after court, his new associate, a young and probably bright lady – _what’s her name again ?_  –, was waiting for him next to Donna’s desk.

“M. Specter, apparently a new big case has arrived.”, she said, following him in his office. “20 boxes have been delivered, I had them put in one of the conference rooms, is that ok ?”

Harvey rolled his eyes and sighed.

“Thank you, uh, what’s your name again ?”, he asked.

“Katrina.”, she replied with an annoyed look. “It’s been 4 months M. Specter.”

“Sorry,  _Christina_ , I’m not good with names.”, he replied with a frown. “Nobody touches the boxes. It’s my case.”

“Well, call me if you need help.”, she said, leaving the office.

“ _My case_.”, Harvey repeated, flicking through his messages.

“What is this new case ?”, Donna asked, taking a seat on the couch.

“I’m helping Mike get rid of a lawsuit.”, he replied absentmindedly.

“Oh.”, Donna smiled. “How are things going on with you and Mike ?”

“There’s nothing going on with me and Mike.”

“Not to me, Reginald.”, Donna snapped. “You’ve got that glow.”

Harvey made a face.

“That what now ?”

“That I-fucked-Mike-Ross glow.”, she deadpanned. “And now you’re blushing. Glad to know I haven’t lost my touch.”

“Get out. And don’t call me that. Ever.”, he said, rolling his eyes.

“Seriously, Harvey.”, she said when stepped out of his office. “I’m happy for you. Just be careful, ok ?”

Harvey smiled and nodded. This new case was just what he needed. Being a managing partner involved way too much boring administrative stuff for his liking. He had 48 hours to find a loophole and he would find it even if that meant sleeping in his office until Friday.  

 

True to his words, Harvey was digging into the 10th box when Donna popped her head in the office.

“Harvey, you should consider going home, it’s almost 9.”, she said.

“What are you still doing here”, he asked, a pen stuck in his mouth.

“Waiting for you to go.”, she sighed.

“Don’t worry about me, Donna.”, he smiled. “I’m fine. There is nothing to drink in my office, except for this goddamn herbal thing that Ted got me.”

“It’s called tea, Harvey.”, Donna smirked.

“Am I interrupting something ?”

Both Harvey and Donna jumped.

“Jesus, Mike !”, she exclaimed, a hand pressed to her chest.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you.”, he smiled apologetically. “So ? How’s it going ?”

“10th box. I haven’t found anything yet but I’m on something.”, Harvey replied, yawning and stretching. “What are you doing here ?”

“I was bored, Eliott’s in bed and it’s babysitting night for Marine. I’m supposed to go out on Wednesdays, though I really never do.”, he smiled. “I thought you’d be hungry so I brought you a little something.”

He produced a brown bag from behind his back.  _La Cucina_.

“Thank you.”, Harvey said with a knowing smile.

“Well boys, I’m going home.”, Donna said, clicking her heels. “You behave.”, she added, winking before walking back to her desk.

Mike looked at Harvey quizzingly.

“Don’t mind her.”, he said, taking a big bite of his burger.

He emptied his mouth and handed a paper to Mike.

“See, I’ve seen your notes on their financials, you seem to have checked it but somehow, I did the calculations and I don’t end up with the same result.”.

He stood up and walked around his desk. He leaned over Mike’s shoulder and started typing on his calculator, whispering the numbers. He was about press the Equals button when Mike brushed his lips on his neck.

“Mike.”, Harvey said, taking a step back.

“Sorry.”, Mike replied, looking up at him through his lashes. “I got distracted.”

“Anyway.", he cleard his throat. "See that number ? It’s not the same number you found.”

He lifted the calculator and the paper for Mike to see.

“One of us is wrong.”, Mike stated. “And I’m guessing it’s me. Well, hoping it’s me because if you’re right, we might be on to something.”

Harvey smiled and went back to his seat.

“I better get started on that lead then.”, he said, gathering the pages. “You should go home.”

“I wanna help.”, Mike said, rolling up the sleeves of his black Henley.

“You’re not getting a discount for helping me, you know ?”

“Ha ha ha.”    

 

4 hours later, they were both sitting on the floor, papers covering the soft carpet.

“Got it !”, Mike screamed triumphantly. “I fucking got it !”

He held a paper in the air with a grin.

“Show me.”, Harvey said, rubbing his forehead.

His tired eyes skimmed through Mike’s calculations, his head nodding and a smile forming on his lips.

“That’s it.”, Mike grinned, holding out his fist and expecting Harvey to reciprocate.

Harvey looked at the offered fist with a disgusted face and started folding the papers into neat piles.

“Come on, you know you want to.”, Mike rolled his eyes.

“I don’t. Now, let’s go get some sleep, I’ve got a lot of paperwork to do tomorrow.”

“Thanks to me.”, Mike said, stretching his legs. “Ouch.”, he winced.

“You okay ?”, Harvey asked, looking up from his stack of paper.

“Yeah, I'm fine.”, he gasped, his eyes squeezed shut.

Harvey stood up and helped him onto the couch.

Mike whimpered.

"I'm ok. Sorry..."

"Don't apologize.", Harvey said, stroking his knee.

Mike took a deep breath and finally opened his eyes. 

"Do you mind if we wait here for a couple of minutes ?"

"Not all all, I still need to write a few things down.", Harvey said, walking back to his desk.

He knew Mike didn't want him to worry so he tried to act as if nothing had happened.

"Did you drive here ?", he asked.

"Yeah. I took your spot in the parking lot.", Mike smiled. "Why do you have a parking lot if you have Ray ? Do you still rent cars ?"

"No, I own them now.", Harvey smirked. "I mostly drive them on the weekends but Ray takes days off and holidays."

"And where do you take them on the weekends ?"

"The racing track.", he replied. "Monticello Motors Club."

"You race cars ?", Mike asked, wide-eyed.

"Yup. Not my cars, though, real racing cars."

"Isn't it dangerous ?"

"No more than crossing the streets in New York.", Harvey laughed. "Ready to go ? I need to stop by my place to grab a couple of suits."

"Sure.", Mike said, standing up. "Hum, would you mind driving ? My legs are a bit shaky."

"Depends on the car.", Harvey deadpanned.

"Tesla Roadster Sport Convertible."

"Ok then.", Harvey smiled as he offered his arm.

"I'm fine. But thank you.", Mike said, grabbing his cane.

 

They stopped at Harvey on the way and Mike stayed in the car.

Mary had magical powers, he needed to give her a raise. His place was back to normal and it smelled fresh. There was a orchid on the kitchen counter with a note that said : "Feel better soon. Mary.". Ted had told her everything. He felt stupid with his lame party excuse. 

He carefully folded two clean suits into a garment bag and left the apartment.

 

They drove to Mike's place silently.

"Wow, it's almost 2 !", Mike exlaimed when he saw the time on the huge clock of the lobby.

Marine appeared at the top of the stairs.

"Mike, je suis désolée, mais Eliott n'arrive pas à dormir... Il n'arrête pas de pleurer, j'ai essayé de vous appeler." (Mike, I'm sorry but Eliott can't sleep... He's been crying for hours and I've been trying to reach you.)

"Shit, my battery's dead.", Mike muttered, shooting an angry look at the black screen on his phone. "I'll be right there. Merci Marine."

Mike sighed and called the elevator.

"God, I just want to go to bed...", he complained as the doors opened. "Want a lift ?", he smiled weakly. 

Harvey smiled back and stepped into the cabin.

"Goodnight Mike.", he said when they reached the third floor. "Kiss the monster for me."

"I will, after I kill him.", Mike laughed.

 

A couple of minutes later, as Harvey was stepping out of the shower, he got a text.

"If you're not already in bed, monster wants to kiss you goodnight."

Harvey grabbed the nearest pieces of clothing he could find and climbed up the stairs to the fourth floor.

As he approached the room, he could hear Eliott whining. He peeked through the half opened door. The little boy was sitting on his Spiderman bed, cheeks red and nose running. Mike was lying next to him, stroking his back in soothing motions and repeating "He's coming, he's coming.".

He opened the door. "Harbbeeeyyyy !"

"What are still doing up ?", Harvey asked, walking to the bed and sitting down on its edge.

"I had a nightmaaaaaaarrree !", the little boy cried, climbing on Harvey's lap.

"What was it about ?", Harvey asked.

"There was a witch and there was Batman and the witch killed Batman !", he choked, burying his face in Harvey's neck.

Harvey wrapped his arms around him and smiled at Mike who gave him the thumbs up. He had no idea what he was supposed to do with a crying kid.

"It's ok, it was just a bad dream. Batman cannot die.", he said, pressing kisses on the top of Eliott's head.

"He can't ?"

"Nope, he's strong. He's got superpowers."

The little boy seemed to calm down at the words.

"I want to sleep in your bed, Harbey.", he eventually said.

"Eliott.", Mike sighed. "It's very very late and Harvey's had a long day. Go back to bed and sleep ok ?"

"Harbey pleaaassseeeeee !"

Harvey raised an eyebrow and smiled sheepishly. How was he supposed to say no ?

"It's fine with me.", he said, implicitly asking for Mike's approval.

"You can protect me against the witch, Harbey.", the little boy hiccuped, his eyes half closed already. "You're strong."

Harvey smiled. _Old but strong, right ?_

"Ok, fine.", Mike conceded. "But you go right now and you don't talk to Harvey, you let him sleep. Understood ?"

The little boy lifted his head up to grin at Harvey.

"Understood Daddy.", he replied.

"Let's go !", Harvey said, standing up with Eliott in his arms.

"Goodnight Daddy !"

"Goodnight buddy. Sleep well.", Mike replied, smiling fondly.

Once in Harvey's room, Eliott started looking around.

"What did Daddy say ?", Harvey asked in a faked threatening tone.

The little boy shrugged and climbed onto the big bed.

"I'm going to turn off the light now. Close your eyes.", Harvey said.

He switched the lights off and laid down on the bed.

"Harbey ?", Eliott whispered.

Harvey rolled his eyes and smiled. It was dark but he could imagine the little boy's big blue eyes shining bright with his burning question that couldn't wait until the next morning.

"Yep ?"

"I love you."

Harvey's heart stopped beating for a second. He swallowed hard. He hadn't heard or said these three words in such a long time. He moved on his side and pulled the warm little body close to him.

"I love you too sweetheart.", he whispered.


	25. The Memories

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gosh, this chapter litteraly killed me. I wrote it twice from scratch. I'm still not completely satisfied with it but I couldn't wait to share it with you. Thank you for reading and again, thank you to everyone who comments !!!! Hope you like it.

_"Next flight is in an hour and a half." "Yeah, I know..." "Ok, just get the papers ready." "Right. Yeah. See you later."_

_Mike hangs up the phone. He has missed the 9 o clock flight by a hair and he is rather pissed._

_As he is contemplating having another coffee, a black town car pulls over a couple of feet away. A door opens and one well-polished Italian leather shoe steps out on the ground, followed by the rest of a tall and muscular body._

_The man is wearing a suit. Probably tailored, judging by the way it perfectly fits. His hair is slicked back like in those old black and white movies, he looks like he could be a Mafia member, a pretty handsome Mafia member._

_He holds the door and smiles to his driver. The most gorgeous smile Mike has ever seen. The kind of smile that makes your heart melt, when the eyes are smiling too._

_He grabs a briefcase, closes the door and walks inside the terminal like he owns it, head high, a smirk on his lips, hips swaying, feet steady on the ground with each step he takes._

_Mike's heart has stopped beating for a couple of seconds and he exhales loudly when the sliding doors finally close behind what is probably the most gorgeous creature on earth._

_As if magnetically pulled toward him, Mike walks through the sliding doors and follows the man in the suit._

_He stops at the newsstand, buys the New York Times and tucks the paper under his arm. He walks to the VIP Lounge and sits on one of the comfortable chairs._

_Mike sits on the chair opposite to him and takes his iPad out of his old messenger bag._

_The man in the suit is reading the economy section, nodding and smirking, and Mike takes a moment to look at his face._

_His eyebrows are perfectly plucked and above the left one are two moles. His big brown eyes narrow from time to time as he reads. His lips move as he silently speaks the words he's reading._

_Mike is hypnotized, eyes fixed on the man's face, on his hands caressing the paper, on his toned crossed legs, on his perfectly coiffed hair which he dreams of messing up._

_Then the man in the suit lifts his head and his eyes meet Mike's. He raises an eyebrow and smirks while Mike blushes and looks down, his heart pounding in his chest._

_He wants to know his name, what he likes to do, where he like to have a nice dinner, what kind of music he listens to, how he sounds when he laughs, when he orgasms. He suddenly wants to know everything about the man._

_He hears a phone ringing and soon realizes it's his. He doesn't want to talk, he wants to stare at the man, to register every little detail about him he knows he will never forget._

_But his phones keeps on ringing..._

 

Mike woke up with a start. _Damn phone !_ He shut his alarm, his heart pounding in his chest and butterflies flying in his stomach. He hadn't slept much, barely four hours, but the dream he had just had could make up for the lack of sleep.

He stood up and stretched his legs. They still hurt, not enough rest, he would need to spend at least an extra half hour at the gym today.

He grabbed his cane and sleepily walked to Eliott's bedroom.

The door was open and the bed was empty.  _Oh right_. He had slept with Harvey.

He took the elevator down to the third floor. Climbing a set of stairs or two required patience and strength he didn’t always have, but he could do it. Going down was another story.

He knocked on Harvey's door. No reply. He knocked again.

"Harvey ? Eliott ?", he called.

Maybe they were already downstairs.

He slowly opened the door and what he saw made his heart melt.

Harvey was lying on his side, his unruly hair in falling in a wave over his forehead just like Mike liked it and he was holding his little snoring and drooling boy tightly against his chest.

He fumbled his phone out of his pocket and took a picture. The capturing sound echoed in the big room so Mike quickly put the phone back in his pocket. But neither Harvey nor Eliott even stirred.

He squatted down next to the bed, wincing when his knees cracked.

 _The man in the suit…_ The man in the suit was asleep, right in front of him and he still looked perfect. 5 years had passed and Harvey still made Mike’s heartbeat race every time he smiled at him. Sure, they were wrinkles on his forehead and around his eyes and small grey patches were starting to settle on his soft and wavy hair. But he was still the man Mike had met at the airport, still the man who had oh so delicately kissed his neck while roughly fucking him in the plane.

And he was here. In his home.

Mike’s heart clenched. Why and how did he ever let him go ?

He took a deep breath, and another, to slow his heart rate and started stroking Eliott’s cheek to wake him.

"Daddy ?", the little boy whispered, his eyes barely open.

"Hey.", Mike smiled. "Time to wake up. Come with me. Don't wake Harvey."

The little boy stretched loudly and though it didn't wake him, Harvey pulled Eliott closer to him.

"Daddy, I can't move.", he whispered worriedly.

Mike chuckled. There was no way his son would be able to leave the bed without waking Harvey. 

"Go ahead, wake him up."

Eliott pushed hard on Harvey's arms to untangle himself from his hold.

Harvey groaned and finally opened his eyes, meeting Mike's.

"Hi.", he said in a sleepy voice.

"Harbey, can you let go of me please ?"

"Sorry.", he said in a yawn as he released Eliott. "What time is it ?"

"7.", Mike replied, standing back up.

"Hummmm.", Harvey replied, burying his head in the pillow.

"Come on Eliott, let Harvey wake up."

“He’s not waking up Daddy, he’s going back to sleep !”

“’M not.”, Harvey mumbled in the pillow.

“See you downstairs !”, Eliott cheered.

 

Trying to be on time for school with a little stubborn boy who lacked sleep proved impossible. They were 20 minutes late and Mike had to walk a crying Eliott to his classroom and apologize to his teacher.

When he came back home, Harvey was gone but there was a note on the kitchen table.

“Mike,

Thank you so much for your hospitality, it has been a very nice couple of days.

Your house is amazing and Eliott is the most adorable little boy, but I need to go back to my home and sort some things out.

I’ve called your lawyer, I’m taking over your case which means I’ll see you tomorrow at the hearing. Maybe we could have a drink after we win ?

Thank you again for everything. You’re not just a broken body and you have never been just that. You’re strong and you’re an amazing Dad. Remember that next time those legs of yours start bothering you, ok ?

See you tomorrow,

Harvey.”

Mike gulped and neatly folded the note into his pocket.

 

After lunch, Mike was in his study, busy placing Harvey’s note with the other memories of him, of them, he kept in a box when someone knocked on the door.

He quickly closed the box.

“Come in.”

“Mike, “, Marine said, entering the room. “I just made coffee and I thought you’d want one.”

“Oh thank you.”, he said, seizing the offered cup.

“What is that ?”, Marine asked, pointing at a light blue square box.

“Oh, that ? Uh….”, Mike stuttered. He had forgotten to put _that_ back in the memory box. “It’s, uh, a ring. Obviously.”, he blushed.

Marine smiled and raised an eyebrow.

“Who is it for ?”, she asked teasingly.

“Actually, it’s mine.”, Mike replied sadly.

Marine frowned.

“I, uh, it’s a long story.”, Mike began.

“No it’s ok, you don’t have to tell me, I’m sorry I asked.”, the young woman apologized.

“No, don’t be.”, Mike sighed. “Harvey gave it to me 5 years and a half ago.”

Marine smiled.

“I knew he was more than your _friend_.”, she said, air quoting the last word. “What happened ?”

“This.”, he replied, gesturing toward the cane.

Marine looked confused.

“He left you because of it ?”, she asked, looking almost offended.

Mike shook his head.

“I asked him to leave me.”, he replied and swallowed hard, for the first time feeling the weight of the words he had just said.

“Oh.”, Marine said with a compassionate smile.

“Anyway, thank you for the coffee.”, he said, faking a smile. “And for listening to my pathetic story.”

Marine nodded knowingly and left the room.

When the door war closed, Mike opened the box and very gently brushed the ring with the tip of his index finger.

_“I know this is probably not the right time to ask you this but I couldn’t wait… Will you marry me ?”_

_“Yes Hunky. Yes, I want to marry you.”_

He smiled fondly as tears started pooling in his eyes. He put the ring back in the memory box.

 

After a conference call, a trip to buy groceries and an hour in the gym, Mike took a shower and drove to the Lycée Français to pick up Eliott.

“Daddddyyyyy !”, the little boy screamed, running toward his Dad.

“Hey buddy. How was school ?”, he asked, kissing his cheek.

“Awesome ! I did a drawing for Harbey ! Look !”, Eliot said, handing what a paper showing what looked like a huge black mess. “It’s Batman !”

“It looks great.”, Mike sighed, feeling the inevitable question coming.

“Is Harbey having dinner with us ?”

“No, he went back to his house.”

“For dinner ?”

“No, for good.”, Mike braced himself. “He was just staying with us for a few days.”

“Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo !”, the little boy started crying. “I want to see him !”

“I’ll ask him if he wants to come over this weekend, alright ?”

“No ! I want to see him now ! And I want to show him my Batman drawing !”

“Look, Eliott.”, Mike said, lifting his chin up. “Harvey is very busy. And he has a nice home, he can’t stay with us all the time.”

“Why not Daddy ?”, Eliott asked, rubbing his teary eyes. “Our home is big, he can live with us, just like Marine.”

“People don’t move into other people’s homes like that buddy. I’m sorry.”

“But… Daddy, _please_ , call him ! Ask him if he wants to move in with us. _Pleaaaassse !_ ”

“No, Eliott. I’m not asking him.”, Mike replied firmly. “Now, get in the car and let’s go home, ok ?”

“I want to see Harbey…”, the little boy sniffed, climbing into his baby car seat.

_Me too…_

 

Eliott had cried for the better part of the evening and had ended up sleeping in Mike’s bed. He had woken him twice, both times because of a nightmare involving Batman – _who else ?_ –. So, once again, Mike was exhausted when he opened his eyes the next morning.

His little boy was still asleep and they both had another 20 minutes to go before Mike’s alarm would ring.

Mike stretched lazily when a electric shock radiated from his legs up his spine and he chocked back a scream. He knew what that meant.

“Shit !”, he whimpered, trying his best to keep his voice down.

He had seen it coming. Though he had spent an hour at the gym the previous day, he knew he wouldn’t get away with it.

He was supposed to be in court in 3 hours and since his legs refused to work today, he wasn’t even sure he’d manage to get showered and dressed in that interval.

He grabbed his phone and texted Marine.

“Hey Marine. It’s one of those days… Can you take care of Eliott’s breakfast and take him to school ? Thank you and sorry.”

“Of course, I’ll be right down.”, came in seconds later.

He couldn’t go to court like that. He couldn’t show up in a freaking wheelchair. Not today. He mentally cursed his legs and woke his little boy.

“Hey Robin, wake up.”, he chuckled, running his hand through Eliott’s hair.

“I’m not Robin…”, he frowned.

“Why not ? I thought you liked Batman.”

“Batman doesn’t live here anymore so I don’t want to be Robin.”

Mike smiled.

“Harvey’s Batman ?”

“Yes. He’s strong.”

“He is. Wake up now. I’m sorry, I can’t walk today, Marine will have to drive you to school.”

Eliott sat up in the bed.

“Oh poor Daddy…”, he said, stroking Mike’s legs.

“Don’t worry. I’ll be fine tomorrow.”

Knock-knock.

“Come in.”

“Bonjour.” (Hello), Marine smiled, pushing a wheelchair inside the room.

“Merci Marine, t’es la meilleure.” (Thank you Marine, you’re the best.), Mike replied, as she helped him into the wheelchair.

“Allez Eliott, on descend petit déjeuner pendant que Papa se prépare !” (Come on Eliott, let’s get you some breakfast while your Daddy gets ready !), Marine cheered, taking the little boy in her arms. “Are you going to be ok, Mike ?”

“Yeah, thank you very much.”, Mike lied.

No, he wasn’t going to be ok. He was tired and angry.

He grabbed his phone and texted Harvey. After all, he didn’t need to be in court today.

“Hey. Bad day here, am not going to be able to make it to court today. Sorry about that, call me as soon as the verdict is in. Thanx”

Naturally, and he had kind of expected it, his phone rang immediately.

“Mike, what’s wrong ?”, a breathless Harvey asked.

“What are you doing ? Why are you panting ?”, Mike deflected.

“I’m running. Well, I was. And I asked you a question.”, Harvey said and Mike could hear him smile.

“My legs. I guess two short nights and a trip to the grocery store got the best of them. It’s wheelchair day !”, Mike laughed nervously.

“I’ll come pick you up before court.”

Mike rolled his eyes.

“It’s ok, I’ll stay in. It’s not like you need me there anyway, do you ?”

“Are you kidding me ?! You’re the one who came up with the loophole, you can’t miss that, Mike.”

“Harvey…”, Mike sighed. “It’s ok really, don’t worry. I trust you completely.”

They both paused for a second.

“I’ll come pick you up at 9:30.”, Harvey finally stated.

“Harvey…”

“Mike.”

“Fine…”, Mike almost whispered.

“See you then. And put on your best suit. This is going to be epic !”, Harvey laughed.

 

When the doorbell rang at 9:30 sharp, Mike had put his best suit on.

“Ready ?”, Harvey asked with a smile.

“I guess.”, Mike replied.

“Let’s go then.”, Harvey said, grabbing the handles.

“I’m fine, thank you.”, Mike said, setting the wheels in motion with his hands.

“Alright.”, Harvey replied with a sigh.

 

Of course, Harvey knocked it out of the park and Mike watched in awe, as he tore his opponent apart.

“Told you we’d win this !”, Harvey exclaimed, flashing his perfect smile.

“You were spectacular.”, Mike replied as they were exiting the courthouse.

“So, wanna grab a beer ?”, Harvey asked.

Mike did want to spend time with Harvey. All his time. But not like that, not with the wheelchair.

“I know what you’re thinking.”, Harvey said.

“Oh really ? Then what am I thinking ?”

“You’re thinking you don’t want to be out in public in your wheelchair.”, Harvey said, gazing sadly into the distance.

 _Oh no, Harvey. I don’t mind anymore. I don’t want_ you _to see me in a wheelchair._

“Hum.”, Mike simply replied.

“Ok, let’s go to your place or mine and have that beer, what do you think ?”

_I think I want to go to my place and fuck you hard on my bed._

“Ok. My place. I have an appointment with my therapist at 1.”

“Great.”, Harvey smiled.

 

They grabbed a couple of beers from the fridge and climbed up to the rooftop patio.

“Eliott was upset yesterday when I told him you had gone back to your home.”, Mike said, gulping down his beer. “He thinks you’re Batman.”

Harvey smiled.

“He’s cute.”, he replied, blushing.

“He’s obsessed with strength. I think it’s because I’m not like his friends’ dads. I can’t run or play baseball with him. I can’t even hold him in my arms and walk at the same time !”, Mike laughed bitterly.

“You’re a great father, Mike. And he knows it. He sees how difficult everything is for you now. He doesn’t think you’re weak.”, Harvey said, resting a hand on Mike’s knee.

“But I am.”

“Physically, maybe. A little bit.”, Harvey conceded with a shy smile. “Look at what you have overcome. Look at how hard you’ve fought for what you wanted. Look at you now…”

Mike sighed.

“I haven’t fought for the one thing I truly wanted.”, he said, gazing into Harvey’s kind brown eyes.

Harvey looked down and squeezed Mike’s knee.

“Harvey….”, Mike gulped. “The other night, you left without saying a word…”

Harvey closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

“I know.”, he replied. “I didn’t know what to say and I still don’t.”

Mike’s eyes filled up with tears.

“Say something, _please_ …”, he almost whispered.

Harvey looked away, his jaw clenched and his lips pursed.

Suddenly he stood up and walked to the handrail.

“I…”, he said. “I thought I would never see you again. It took me over a year and a thousand sleepless nights to finally come to terms with the fact that I had lost you forever… You were dead to me.”

His back was turned and Mike could see his shoulder heaving when he took a deep breath.

“I have thrown everything away. Everything. Including the bed sheets. I couldn’t stand my apartment anymore, everything fucking reminded me of you.”

Tears were pouring down Mike’s face now and his vision was blurry.

“One night, I…”

“I know !”, Mike cried. “I know ! Donna told me.”

Harvey turned around. There were tears in his eyes.

“I’m so fucking sorry, Harvey.”, Mike pleaded, taking his head in his hands, elbows pushing into his knees.

Harvey walked back to him, got down on his knees and started rubbing his thighs in soothing movements.

“I’m sorry I didn’t fight to stay with you, Mike.”, he cried.

Mike lifted his head up.

“You did Harvey, you did.”, he sobbed. “But I kept on pushing you away. I’m so sorry…”

They stayed like that for a minute, teary eyes fixed on each other, barely winking.

Then Harvey cupped Mike’s face and kissed him.

Mike closed his eyes and deepened the kiss.

_Oh God, yes. I love you, Harvey. I have never stopped loving you._

They finally broke the kiss and Harvey pressed his forehead against Mike’s.

“I’ve missed you so much…”, he said with a smile. “Let me get you to your room. You look exhausted, you need to sleep.”, he added, standing back up.

Mike nodded.

There were so many things he needed to say. So many questions he needed answered, but Harvey was right, he was exhausted.

They silently rode the elevator down and Harvey helped him into bed. He pressed a kiss on his forehead.

“Get some rest. I'll wait downstairs until your therapist arrives.”, he said with a fond smile as he left the room.


	26. The New Beginning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Final chapter you guys. I'll miss little Eliott :(  
> This last chapter has litteraly consumed me but thanks to my sister Isaure, I managed to finish this fic. I hope you like the ending, I hope you liked the story.  
> A million thank yous to all of you, it's been great !!!!!!!!!!!!!

Harvey welcomed the physiotherapist when he arrived.

"Good afternoon, doctor, Harvey Specter, I'm a friend of Mike's."

"Pleasure to meet you, I'm doctor White, Michael’s private therapist.", the middle-aged man replied with a smile.

"Mike's taking a nap, he was exhausted.", Harvey explained. "I have to go back to work, do you need me to wake him up before I go ?"

"No, that's fine, I'll come back. I have errands to run in the neighborhood, he will call me when he wakes up."

"Nice meeting you."

"Me too."

 

 

He arrived at work a half hour later, feeling emotionally drained.

"You look like shit.", Donna said when he passed by her desk. "Did you lose in court this morning ?"

"Of course not.", Harvey replied, rolling his eyes. "I'm just tired, and old. Please hold my calls, I've got a pattern to file."

"Alright.", Donna shrugged.  

 

An hour later, she knocked on his door.

"What is it ?", he said with an exasperated sigh.

"An important call apparently. The woman does  _not_  want to tell me what she’s calling for and she does  _not_  want to call back.", she replied in a dramatic tone.

"Who is it ?"

"Someone from the Lycée Français.", she replied.

"I'll take it.", he quickly replied, already picking up the receiver.

"M. Specter ?", a woman asked with a French accent.

"Yes." "Harvey Specter ?"

"Yes, who is it ?"

"Miss Duquesne with the Lycée Français.", she replied. "I'm sorry to bother you but Eliott Ross is here with me and he says he’s not feeling too well. We've been trying unsuccessfully to reach his father and Marine, the au pair, and when they did not answer our calls, Eliott told us to call a  _Harbey_  Specter.", she laughed. "He said you were a lawyer so we did some research and here I am !"

Harvey smiled.

"What can I do for you ?"

"Well, I need someone to pick him up. Could you ?"

"Hum, I’m pretty busy right now but uh, I'll pick him up if no one else can. Does he need to see a doctor ?", Harvey asked, checking his schedule on his cell phone.

"I don't think so.", the woman replied. "To be honest with you, I think he's just tired."

"Ok, give me 20 minutes."  

 

When he stepped into the school, Eliott was sitting on a bench, backpack on, next to a young woman.

"M. Specter ?", she stood up and offered her hand.

"Harbeyyyyyyyyyy !", Eliott waved at him.

"Yes, are you Mrs Duquesne ?", he asked with a tentative smile. He was sure he hadn't pronounced her name correctly.

She nodded and blushed.

"Here he is.", she said. "I'm not supposed to let the kids go with anyone but their parents or a registered caretaker but I have no other choice. I left a message to M. Ross saying that he was with you."

"Great, thank you. I'll try to call him as soon as I get back to my office.", Harvey said.

"I'm going to your office ? Awesome !", the little boy said, clapping his hands.

"You don't look sick to me.", Harvey said, shooting him a look.

The little boy’s cheeks reddened.

"Let's go monster.", he smiled. "Thank you very much  _Madame_."

Miss Duquesne winked and waved them goodbye.

"Ray !", Eliott cheered when he spotted the driver standing next to the town car.

"How are you M. Eliott ?", Ray asked, opening the door to the backseat.

"I'm good ! I'm going to see Harbey's office !"

"That's great.", Ray laughed.  

 

When they stepped out of the elevator at Specter Phillips, Eliott started running in the corridors.

"Eliott ! No running !", Harvey shouted, making everyone around stop what they were doing and stare. But Eliott had already reached Donna's desk.

"Donna !"

"Hey you !", she grinned, lifting him up in her arms.

"I'm sick so I get to see Harbey's office !", Eliott replied cheerfully. Donna smiled at Harvey.

"Harbey ?", she mouthed with a raised eyebrow.

Harvey rolled his eyes. It was probably going to become his new nickname. But somehow, he couldn't help but like it. It was way better than Reginald anyway.

"So, Eliott, sit.”, he said, pointing toward the couch. “Let's set some ground rules here. First of all, no screaming. Actually no talking, alright ? People are working here, they need silence. Donna will give you some paper and pens. Second of all, you stay in my office. If you want to use the restrooms, you ask me and I ask Donna, ok ?"

The little boy was fidgeting in his seat, wide-eyed, literally drinking Harvey's words and nodding.

"Most importantly Eliott.", he said, kneeling in front of him. "You never do that again."

"Do what ?"

"Pretend to be sick so you can go home.", Harvey frowned, making Eliott gulp. "You don't want to make Daddy worry, right ? He's a little bit sick today, you know ?"

"Yeah, I know, he can't walk. Wheelchair day...", Eliott replied somberly.

"He's going to be fine. But you need to be a good boy because he needs to rest."

The little boy nodded, looking away.

"Harbey ?"

"Yes ?"

"Why is my Daddy like this ? Why does he need a cane ? I wish he didn't, we could play together."

It was Harvey's time to gulp. He took a deep breath.

"Well, your Daddy told you he was in an accident before you were born, right ?", he asked, to what Eliott nodded. "When he was in the hospital after the accident, the doctor told him he would probably never walk again, that it would be wheelchair day every day. But your Daddy is brave, he went to the gym and exercised really hard so he could walk again. So now only he needs a cane. What’s important is that he can walk, right ? And he can still play with you. Board games, card games, video games, he can tickle you, can't he ?"

Eliott grinned.

"Nooooo, I'm ticklish !"

"Are you now ?", Harvey smiled mischievously as he started tickling him.

"No Harbeyyyyy !", Eliott burst out laughing.

"Alright.", he smiled. "Now I'm going to get you a paper and a couple of pens and you can draw something for Donna, ok ?"

"No, I wanna draw something for you."

"Ok.", Harvey smiled and unlocked his phone to call Mike.  

 

He spent an hour filing the patent, regularly shushing Eliott's attempts to speak. At 5, Marine came to pick him up.

"Hey.", she smiled. "I'm sorry, I was at the grocery store when the school called..."

"It's ok, don't worry.", Harvey replied. 

"It's ok, it was fun !", Eliott exclaimed, holding his drawing above his head. "Look, it's Harbey."

Marine stepped closer to watch the drawing and smiled.

"It does look like him !", she laughed.

"Show me.", Harvey said, holding out his hand.

"You like it ?", the little boy asked expectantly.

It showed a man, well the thing had two arms and two legs, and he was carrying what looked like a blond baby.

"It's very nice. Is that you ?"

"Yes !", Eliott replied, beaming. "You like it Harbey, right ? Are you going to put it on your fridge ? I wanna see your home ! When can I see your home ?"

"I'm going to put it on my fridge.", Harvey replied. "Thank you. Now go home and don't stay up late, ok ?"

"I don't want to leave...", Eliott whined, pouting.

"Papa t'attend à la maison." (Daddy's waiting for you at home), Marine said, helping him put on his coat.

"How is he ?", Harvey asked.

"He's doing better. He asked me to tell you he's sorry he couldn't call but the doctor put him on an IV of muscular relaxant and his phone was still charging when I left, he'll call you later.", Marine replied, putting Eliott's backpack on her shoulder.

"Ok, good.", Harvey said. "Have a great evening and be a good boy, alright monster ?"

Eliott nodded but kept pouting. Harvey watched them walk away and sighed. This little boy had managed what no one had for the last 5 years, he had climbed over Harvey's iron walls and wormed his way into what was left of his heart.

Just as he was going back to his paperwork, his phone rang.

"Hey Mike, are you feeling better ?", he said, picking up the phone.

"Yes, thank you, I should be all good tomorrow.", Mike replied in a small voice. "Sorry about Eliott and thank you very much for taking care of him."

"It's no trouble. He's been good.", Harvey smiled.

"He likes you a lot."

"I like him too."

"The... The doctor says I need to rest and, hum, I was thinking about going to the Hamptons for the weekend tomorrow. Would you like to come with us ?", Mike asked tentatively.

Harvey wanted to scream  _Yes !_ but if he listened to reason, it would tell him he needed to back off. A least for now. One part of him was ecstatic to have Mike back in his life but the other one was terrified. Terrified of losing Mike again and now scared of losing Eliott too.  _Great_.

"I don't know, I am supposed to attend a golf tournament on Sunday.", he lied, rubbing his forehead.

"It's ok, I, uh, I just thought I'd ask you. Eliott would have been thrilled. But I understand.", Mike replied. "We're leaving at 9 tomorrow morning, you can always tag along if you change your mind, also you know where the house is, if you ever want to come at some point during the weekend, just do."

"Thank you, I'll think about it."

"Great. Thank you again for Eliott."

"Don't mention it."

"Have a good evening, Harvey."

"Yeah, you too, Mike, and don't push yourself too hard, ok ?"

"Don't worry. Bye now."

"Bye."

Harvey clicked on his screen and sighed loudly, tilting his head back.

“So you don’t consult me anymore when you take on new clients ?”, Ted walked in his office with a smile.

“Hey.”, Harvey replied, rubbing his eyes. “Sorry about that, last minute thing. And Mike’s not a new client, it was just this one time.”

“I'm just teasing you.”, Ted said, taking a seat on the couch. “As long as we win and it’s not pro bono, it’s fine with me.”

“Trust me, I just gave Donna the information for the invoice, it’s  _not_  pro bono.”, Harvey smiled.

“The guy’s a billionaire anyway.”

“Yeah…”, Harvey yawned. “How’s Pierre ?”

“He’s doing good, we’re looking for a new place.”

“Oh great.”, Harvey paused. “Did you know that Pierre and Mike used to be in a relationship ?”

Ted smiled.

“Yes, on our second date, I think, Pierre told me that his best friend was also his ex.”, he replied. “He told me Mike ended the relationship because he wasn’t 100% committed, because of  _someone else_.”, he smiled knowingly.

“Yeah _someone else_ he did not call or try to contact in 5 years…”, Harvey huffed. “Way to screw up a relationship for nothing. If it hadn’t been for the wedding, we would never have met again.”

“But you did.”, Ted said. “Again, Harvey, I know what you went through and I can only imagine the inner battle that’s taking place in your head right now. But you can’t stay like this forever, with one foot in and one foot out. You have to make up your mind.”

“I know.”, Harvey sighed. “I don’t trust myself around him and I don’t trust him.”

“Have you talked about it with him ?”

“Not really… We have talked about what happened, he has apologized… In fact, that’s all he’s been doing, apologizing over and over…”

“And you don’t know if you can forgive him.”

“No.”

The short word came out bluntly. Harvey did not even have to think about it.

Ted pursed his lips and sighed.

“I guess you have you answer then…”, he said with a sad smile.

“It’s not that simple, Ted. I love him.”

“Yeah but you resent him and you don’t trust him. That’s not a ground you want to rebuild a relationship on.”

“I know…”, Harvey swallowed thickly.

“Do you think you can forgive him ?”

“I don’t know.”

“That’s what you should focus on, Harvey. If you think you can forgive him and learn to trust him again, give it a go. If you can’t, well, tell him and carry on with your life.”, Ted said, standing back up. “Harvey, I want you to be happy. I don’t care how and it’s none of my business, but I want you happy because you deserve it. You once told me you had never loved anyone like you loved Mike. If you still feel that way, give it a try.”

“Thank you, Ted.”, Harvey smiled.

“Anytime bro. I’m going home and you should too.”, Ted replied, opening the door.

“Hum, Ted ?”

“Yes ?”

“Mike invited me to go to the Hamptons with him and his son this weekend, -“

“And you’re wondering if you should go, right ?”

Harvey nodded.

“I can’t make that decision for you. But if you want to know whether you should give him a chance or not, I think spending time with him should help.”

“Thank you. Have a great weekend.”

“You too.”, Ted replied. “Take care.”

He could spend a day there, right ? Just one day. See how it would go.

“I thought about you offer for the weekend. I’ll drive up there and spend Saturday with you two. Thank you.”

He pressed Send and exhaled loudly.

A reply came in 10 minutes later.

“Great. Eliott can’t stop grinning and talking about what he is going to do with you. I hope you know what you’re getting yourself into :D. Can’t wait to see you.”

 _I have no idea what I’m getting myself into, Mike._    

 

The next morning, Harvey was pulled out of a wet dream, judging by the hard on he was sporting, by an early phone call. He grabbed his phone from the nightstand and picked up without checking the caller ID.

“Hello ?”, he rasped, trying to come up with something unpleasant to think about to stop his painful erection.

“Oh sorry, Harvey, did I wake you up ?” 

_Mike. Not unpleasant. Shit._

“Yeah, I was going to wake up soon anyway. Is everything ok ?”

“Everything’s fine. I’m sorry to bother you but Eliott is crying hysterically, he doesn’t want to get in the car because he thinks we’re leaving without you.”, Mike sighed. “I told him you were coming with your own car but he won’t listen…”

“Put him on the phone.”, Harvey said, clearing his throat.

He heard Mike try to explain to a crying Eliott that Harvey wanted to talk to him.

“Harbey ?”

“Yeah monster. Why are you crying ?”

“Daddy said you were coming today but he says we have to leave now and you’re not thereeeeee !”, Eliott sobbed.

“Sweetheart, I’m driving there with my car later on, alright ? I’m still coming, but just not now.”

“Ok.”

“Now, stop crying and be a good boy.”, Harvey said a little more firmly.

“I don’t know what you told him.”, Mike laughed. “But he has stopped crying, actually he’s already in the car !”

“Glad I could help.”, Harvey smiled.

“See you later and thank you !”, Mike exclaimed before hanging up.

Harvey sat up and stretched loudly. He had time to take care of that hard on before getting up so he did.

 

He pulled over in front of the ocean front house’s gate 3 hours later. He took a deep breath before pressing the intercom button. The rain was pouring down. 3 seconds later, the automatic doors were slowly opening. Of course, Eliott was already waiting for him on the front porch steps, protected from the rain under the canopy. As soon as he saw the car, he stood up and started jumping and clapping and screaming Harvey’s name. Well, _Harbey_ ’s name. Mike appeared on the porch seconds later, probably alerted by the screaming.

“Harbey, Harbey, Harbey, Harbey !”, Eliott screamed, trying to open the car door.

“Eliott, come here, it’s raining !”, Mike ordered. “Let Harvey get out of the car !”

Harvey smiled and carefully opened the door.

“Harbey !”, the little boy screamed again, grabbing Harvey’s leg.

“I said come here, Eliott ! You’re going to get sick !”, Mike shouted.

Harvey laughed and Eliott dragged him up the steps.

“Come on in. I’ll show you the house !”, he said.

“Harvey’s seen the house before.”, Mike said, closing the door behind them.

“I have…”, Harvey sighed.

The last time he was here Mike wasn’t and it wasn’t a pleasant memory…

“You’ve got to chose a room Harbey !”

“I’m not staying for the night, sweetheart.”, Harvey smiled apologetically.

“Oh.”, the little boy replied, looking down.

“Go help Marine unpack please.”, Mike said, gesturing toward the corridor.

“Then I can play with Harbey ?”

“We’ll see, Eliott.”, Mike replied. “Please, give Harvey some breathing room, he just got here.”

The little boy winked at Harvey and left the room.

“Sorry, he’s been like this since he woke up this morning.”, Mike apologized with a smile. “Would you like a coffee ?”

“Yes, please.”

“You’ll see that the house hasn’t changed much.”, Mike explained, filling two mugs. “I had the pool childproofed and one of the guest rooms is now Eliott’s room. I had an outdoor elevator installed from deck to access to the garden and hum… that’s about it.”, he smiled.

“I was standing right here almost exactly 5 years ago.”, Harvey said, sipping his coffee. “I told you that your friends and I had spent a weekend here when you were in a coma, right ?”

“Yeah, and I’ve seen the pictures !”, Mike laughed. “There is a very nice one with you sleeping on the deck with an empty bottle of scotch !”

“God…”, Harvey blushed. “I hope it’s not in the pool house… Do you still hang pictures there ?”

“Yup, I still do. It’s like a ritual, it has stayed.”

“How are your friends by the way ?”

“Hum, Trevor and Jenny have moved to California, they are expecting their third little girl. Rachel is getting married to a guy named Logan that I only met once. I don’t like him that much. Tom lives in Switzerland, he’s number 2 in the ATP ranking, he's pretty busy so he doesn’t call or visit much. Gregory is married and has a boy, I think. He’s junior partner at Pearson Tanner Litt. Who else ? Benjamin has moved to Europe but I don’t talk to him that much and I haven’t heard from Harold in three years.”

Harvey smiled.

“Trevor and Jenny usually visit two or three times a year. The girls are in love with Eliott.”

“Who wouldn’t be ?”

“How’s your brother ?”, Mike asked, storing groceries in the fridge.

“He’s doing good. But things are not so great with Sophie… They’re talking about getting a divorce.”

“I hope they don’t. They looked perfect for each other and the kids are young.”

“Yeah, well, they’ll end up with the other million people getting a divorce each year…”

Marine and Eliott appeared in the kitchen at that moment.

“We’re done Daddy ! Can I play with Harbey ?”

Mike rolled his eyes.

“Why don’t you ask him ?”, he replied.

“Harbey ? Would you like to play with me or would you rather stay with my Daddy ?”

The kid was too smart for his own good.

“Why don’t we play together ? The three of us, and with Marine if she wants to, uh ?”, Harvey replied with a smile.

“Daddy can’t play that game…”, Eliott replied, looking at Mike with a sad pout.

“Then let’s play a game that we can all play.”, Harvey offered.

“It’s ok, go play tag while I start cooking for lunch.”, Mike said.

“Is that what you want to play ? _Tag_ ?”, Harvey asked with a confused look.

“Yes Harbey !”

“You know I’m going to win, right ?”, Harvey replied.

Mike burst out laughing.

“Come on Harvey, you don't know that.”, Mike said, nudging him. “You’re supposed to let the kids win.”, he whispered in his ear.

A little too close to his ear if you asked him.

“Oh, right. I guess you’re going to win.”

“We don’t know yet, Harbey, we have to play to know.”, the little boy said, rolling his eyes.

“Oh my God, you’re helpless.”, Mike laughed. “Clear out now, I have a delicious lunch to cook.”    

 

Two hours later, they were settling down in the living room. Since it was still raining, they decided to watch How To Train Your Dragon and Eliott insisted on sitting on Harvey's lap despite the 3 giant couches.

"You know you have the right to say no to him, right ?", Mike whispered to Harvey when the movie started.

"I'm afraid I can't...", Harvey smiled, stroking the little boy's back.

"Shhhhh Harbey !"

3 minutes into the movie, Harvey was fast asleep and Eliott reciting the dialogues word for word during the whole thing did not wake him up.

 

At around 5, it had finally stopped raining and they all went for a stroll on the beach. It felt good to be here, Harvey was relaxed and he couldn't help but think that it felt right. He had spend the entire lunch glancing at Mike, studying him, watching him interact with his little boy, smiling at him and admiring the man he had become.

"Come on, Harbey ! Let's see who runs the fastest !", Eliott challenged.

"Come here Eliott.", Mike sighed, letting go of his cane and squatting down to zip up the little boy's raincoat. "Harvey is not just your guest, he's our guest, ok ? He has played tag with you, watched the movie with you so please, now go run with Marine and leave us alone for a while."

The little boy looked at Harvey with a pout and pleading eyes.

"Ah, don't look at me like that sweetheart.", Harvey smiled. "I'll play cards with you when we get back home, ok ?"

"Are you staying for dinner ? Please Harbey !"

Harvey rolled his eyes with a grin and nodded.

"Yesss !", Eliott screamed, running toward Marine.

"He has you wrapped around his finger.", Mike said, standing back up.

"It's impossible to say no to him.", Harvey smiled. "I'd have such a hard time telling him off if he was my son. God, I'd be the worst dad in history."

Mike laughed.

"I think you'd be a great Dad.", he said.

Harvey had never thought about having kids. He liked some of them, Eliott, Donna's little Mark and his nephews and nieces being some of them, but he had never thought about raising a kid. Probably because he had never been committed to someone long enough to even contemplate the idea. He had never thought of himself as Daddy material.

"Hum.", Harvey replied, looking ahead.

"Are you...", Mike started. "Are you, hum, having a good time ?"

Harvey turned his head to Mike.

"Yes, why ?", he asked with a frown.

Mike looked nervous and he kept his gaze far ahead.

"I want you to have a good time...", he replied. "I mean, I hope you are, I... I'm glad you're here and I really hope you're glad you came. Hum,-"

Harvey grabbed his chin, forcing Mike to look at him. He smiled and gently pressed his lips to Mike's.

He felt him instantly relax and pulled him closer. Mike wrapped his arms around him and deepened the kiss, his tongue eagerly meeting Harvey's and his teeth gently biting on Harvey's lips. They kissed for a while and when they finally broke apart, Eliott was standing right next to them, his head litfted up with a confused look.

"It's rude to kiss in front of other people.", he said, his arms folded across his chest.

"Who told you that ?", Mike asked.

"I just know it.", Eliott replied, eyes fixed on Harvey.

"You like to play with my Daddy, Harbey ?"

Harvey burst out laughing and he was pretty sure his cheeks were redder than the litlle boy's raincoat. 

"Hum.", he replied, at loss of any other word.

"We're not playing, Eliott.", Mike smiled.

"Is that why you wanted me to leave you alone ? So you could kiss Harbey ?"

Mike blushed. 

"No, I mean, I wanted to spend some time with Harvey, but hum...", he said, running a hand through his hair, clearly embarrassed.

"Eliott, let's build a castle !", Marine called from where she was digging into the sand.

_Thank God._

Eliott looked at Harvey and then at his father and Harvey could sense the million questions the little boy wanted to ask. But he just turned and walked away.

"He's jealous.", Mike said in a sigh. "I'm going to have some explaining to do..."

Harvey cleared his throat.

"And what are you going to tell him ?", he asked.

Mike smiled with a knowing look. 

"Well, he knows that we've known each other for a long time.", Mike replied. "Yesterday night, when I put him to bed, he told me that he loved you and asked me if I loved you too."

Harvey pursed his lips to repress a smile.

"I told him I loved you.", Mike continued, his cheeks slightly flushed. 

Harvey's heart jumped in his chest. Mike had not litteraly said "I love you" but it was there. Harvey realized he had been waiting to hear those three words since he had seen Mike at the wedding. He suddenly realized how he had missed them coming from Mike's mouth. They had talked about how they felt, how sorry they were but none of them had expressed their current feelings toward the other. Mike was looking at him expectantly, his big blue eyes almost shining, a vibrant contrast with the grey sky. 

Harvey smiled and kissed him again. 

"I love you too.", he whispered against Mike's lips.

They both smiled into the kiss and closed their eyes in mutual relief. Harvey took Mike's hand and they walked toward Marine and Eliott who were busy filling up a bucket of sand. When she saw them, she smiled knowingly and resumed what she was doing.

"Let's go back inside, buddy. It's getting cold.", Mike said.

"Harbey and I are going to play cards !", Eliott replied, kicking over the sand castle.

He grabbed Harvey's hand and dragged him back to the private lane. Harvey smiled apologetically at Mike and followed the little boy who was practically running back to the house.

They played card while Marine and Mike cooked dinner.

After a nice meal and a story, Eliott was put to bed and Marine had retreated to her room.

"I better get going.", Harvey said.

"Would you like a coffee or something before you go ? It's still rather nice outside, let's enjoy it a little bit more.", Mike offered.

"Why not."

Mike fixed two espressos and they both went down to the pool where they settled on comfortable outdoor armchairs.

"Are you sure you don't want to stay the night ?"

"Yeah..., -"

"Ah right, your golf tournament.", Mike smirked.

Harvey rolled his eyes.

"Mike.", he said after a small pause. "What is going to happen now ?"

Mike took a deep breath and smiled.

"I just had the best idea for what could happen right now.", he replied teasingly.

Harvey smiled.

"Seriously, Harvey, I can't answer that.", he said in a stern voice. "I'm the one who screwed everything up... I want you to choose what's going to happen now."

"I think I'm just starting to realize how much I still love you and how fucking much I've missed you.", Harvey said, his eyes wandering everywhere but in Mike's direction. "I had blocked everything. The memories, the feelings, good or bad, I thought everything was erased from my head. But now I realize it wasn't. And I don't know how to process it."

Mike gently put a hand on his knee.

"I just know I never want to lose you again. I never want to hate you again. I want you in my life.", Harvey continued, his eyes finally meeting Mike's.

"Good.", Mike replied with a smile.

"But I'm fucking scared."

Mike pulled him into a tight hug. He was scared, terrified even, but he wanted to give it a try.

 

THE END


	27. The Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, here's the epilogue tmelange suggested (thanx !).

It took them a couple of months after that weekend to start dating again. They had never had time to go to the movies together, take a stroll together or spend a lazy Sunday morning together. So they did. For a whole year. Much to Eliott’s delight.

And so, a year after the weekend in the Hamptons, Mike went back to Cartier and bought a ring. He had it engraved with the words “My light in the dark.”

A couple of days after buying the ring, which he kept close to his in his memory box, Mike asked Donna if he should ask Harvey to marry him. They hadn’t talked about marriage again and he didn’t know if that was even an option Harvey still considered. Donna’s response was a grin and teary eyes.

So, on one stormy night in his New York town house, now theirs, as they were watching the news, Mike got down on one knee and produced the ring. He didn’t even have time to pop the question because Harvey grabbed the box, pulled him close with a grin and kissed him.

They decided to have a long engagement, they knew they wanted to get married but they wanted to take their time, they weren’t rushing things anymore.

 

Three years later, Harvey is adjusting Mike’s bowtie in their bedroom at the Hamptons oceanfront house.

“Here.”, Harvey says, admiring his work around Mike’s neck. “Ready ?”

“You bet.”, Mike replies with a grin. “I’ve been ready for almost 10 years.”

Harvey cocks his head and raises an eyebrow.

“You hid it well.”, he smiles.

Mike blushes.

“Don’t.”, Harvey says, gently pressing his index finger on Mike’s lips. “Don’t apologize. Not on our wedding day. Never again.”

He kisses him and can’t help but shiver. He is finally going to marry Mike. _Finally_.

“I love you.”, he whispers against Mike’s lips.

 

The wedding is taking place at their Hamptons home with only 30 guests. Among them are Jenny and Trevor and their 3 beautiful daughters, Ted and Pierre, Tom and his boyfriend, Paul and Sophie ( _yep !_ ) with their two sets of twins, Donna and Stephen with Mark and Isabella, Helena and Charles, Rachel and Logan with their baby boy and Marine and her boyfriend, who flew all the way from Paris to be with them on that special day.

The garden holds the ceremony and the dinner party. Bouquets of peonies are set on every table and all around the freshly mowed grass.

Eliott, now 7 and Harvey’s adopted son, is the ring boy. He’s wearing a white mini three-piece suit and his blond hair is neatly combed.

 

The ceremony is short, partly because Mike wants to be able to stand through it. No long speech, just a couple of heartfelt vows and both Harvey and Mike have their wedding band slipped above their engagement ring.

Photographers from various publications and websites have come to snap a picture of the two men the press has dubbed “The 21st Century Power Couple”. They are allowed 20 minutes to take all the pictures they want as long as they leave afterward to let the newlyweds and their guests enjoy the rest of the day.

 

When they are all seated for dinner, Eliott stands on his chair around the kids’ table and clears his throat making everyone turn their head towards him.

“Daddy, Harvey.”, he begins to recite, blushing. “I am really happy for you. I’ve been dreaming for this day for as long as I can remember. Daddy, I’m really proud of you, for being strong and confident and for everything you have accomplished at only 35. You are a great man and a wonderful father, I love you so much. _Harbey_.”, he smiles. “I want to thank you for making my Daddy happy and for bringing a meaning into our life. I’ve always looked up to you and I always will because you’re the bravest and kindest person I know. I’m proud to be your son and I love you.”

Eliott quickly sits back down in his chair. The audience awwws and cheers and a teary-eyed Harvey stands up and walks to the kids’ table.

“I love you too, monster.”, he whispers, wrapping his arms around the young boy.

 

The party ends the next morning with just Mike and Harvey sitting around the pool, pants pulled up to their knees, feet in the water, glass of wine in hand.

Everybody’s gone to their room in the house or in a nearby hotel. Eliott is asleep and snoring on a chaise longue on the deck.

“I can’t believe we’re married.”, Mike says, playing with his new ring.

Harvey can’t believe it either and he’s never been happier. But he can’t verbalize it, so he just glides his hand languidly up and down Mike thigh.

It has been an emotional day for the ever stoic 52 year-old man.

 

First, Helena asked to talk to him in private a couple of hours before the ceremony and they talked, got everything off their chest, cried and hugged.

Then, their friends put together a small film reliving their relationship from the first party in the Hamptons to their engagement party and finally their stag parties. Moments of happiness, carefree days caught on tape and immortalized on paper. But happiness only exists in comparison to pain and desperation. You can’t have one without the other so reliving their happiest memories also brought back what almost prevented them from ever being happy again.

Then there were the kind words, the best wishes, the outpouring love from every one of their guests.

And finally Eliott’s little speech, which made Harvey’s heart swell in his chest. He had adopted him 2 years ago, after Eliott had asked him. Of course, he had given that option a lot of thoughts before that but he had never dared to ask Mike or even Eliott. So now he was Eliott’s father but the young boy didn’t call him Dad, he called him Harvey. He still called him Harbey though when he wanted to tease him or when Harvey was mad at him because it always made him smile.

 

So here they are, almost 10 years after having set eyes on each other for the first time, watching the sunrise above the desert beach.

And it feels perfect and Harvey closes his eyes as he takes a deep breath. He turns to look at Mike who is gazing straight ahead, a grin spreading across his beautiful but tired face.

“I know.”, Mike says, grabbing Harvey’s hand and squeezing it. “I know.”

 

 


End file.
